Back at One
by ItsWhatIWrite
Summary: Spoilers from 'Kind of a Crazy Idea.' A/U after the living room scene between Matt and Gabby. It's one decision after another for Matt and Gabby.
1. Repeat Steps One Through Three

_Warning: Spoilers from this week's episode._

 _So I've been thinking about writing this since I first read certain spoilers...but after this past week's episode, I just couldn't let the idea go. I consulted with a few people on twitter (by the way, I'm so happy that I'm on twitter and get to chat with all you lovely people) and decided to give it a go. The first chapter is a little shaky and it is not as long. But...if you guys like the idea, I will definitely continue this. Let me know? Please and thank you? :)_

 _Also, as always...I get story titles from music. The title was influenced by Brian McKnight's Back at One. :)_

 **Back at One**

 **Chapter One: Repeat Steps One Through Three**

Taking a deep breath, Matt raised his fist and knocked on the apartment door. He hadn't spoken to Gabby since last night and he couldn't take it anymore. She wasn't responding to his texts or answering his phone calls and he'd be damned if he let her push him away again. He wasn't going to let their relationship deteriorate from the lack of communication and understanding.

No, not this time.

He didn't want to ever go back to that dark place. The lonely nights had been the hardest—the empty bed and cold sheets. He'd never told anybody this—only Severide knew because he'd witnessed it firsthand—but for the first couple of months after their breakup, Matt spent more nights on the couch than in his bed. It was only after he'd started to feel the discomfort in his muscles did he finally convince himself to start sleeping in the bed again. But even then, he was always usually a few beers in before he'd even consider going to bed.

He'd meant it when he'd told Gabby being with her was the only thing that made sense.

The door swung open and Matt's shoulders immediately fell in disappointment when he came face to face with a blonde and not the beautiful brunette that had his heart.

Sylvie raised a brow, not at all expecting the Lieutenant to be on the other side of her door. It'd be another story if Gabby was home, but she hadn't seen Gabby since that morning. She could tell something was on her mind that morning as the brunette stood in front of the coffee pot, arms crossed and her thoughts far away as she waited for the coffee to brew. But she'd just figured her roommate was dealing with parting from Louie a couple of days before. But after seeing the look on Matt's face, it was clear Louie wasn't the only guy troubling Gabby's thoughts.

"Casey, hey."

"Hey." Matt scratched the back of his head, "I uh…I was looking for Gabby."

"She's not here." Sylvie shrugged, "when I came back from the gym to an empty apartment an hour or so ago I'd just assumed she was spending the night with you again." She laughed nervously, "I mean, she's practically living with you again."

"Yeah…" Matt shook his head and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jackets. "I haven't talked to her since last night."

"Oh…" Sylvie frowned thoughtfully. "Well I know this morning she'd mentioned something about wanting to visit Louie at the group home. Maybe that's where she is?" Sylvie sighed, "she's kind of grown attached to him. You should've seen her when she had to hand him off to DCFS..." Sylvie shook her head, "she didn't want to."

"Yeah…I know…" Matt mumbled. He took a breath, "ok, well thanks. When she returns can you tell her that I stopped by?"

"For sure."

During the entire walk back to his truck, Matt silently contemplated on whether or not he should head over to the group home in search of Gabby. He climbed back into his truck and turned the key, starting the engine before leaning his head back against the head rest. He was exhausted; mentally and physically. His thoughts had been going in a constant and dizzying circle since Gabby had abruptly left his apartment the night before.

Whoever said love wasn't easy knew damn well exactly what they were talking about.

* * *

Gabby was in a daze as she moved around Molly's and did the nightly routine of setting all the chairs on top of the tables. Originally, Otis was supposed to close but apparently he'd gotten last minute tickets to some show with this girl and had practically begged Gabby to cover for him. She'd quickly said yes—it was better than her original plans of moping around her and Brett's apartment thinking about Louie and how her relationship with Matt had once again found itself on shaky ground.

"What's on your mind, Dawson?" Herrmann finally asked as he finished up with the deposit.

Gabby shrugged as she put the last chair, "a little bit of everything, I guess."

"Anything in particular you want to talk about?" His gaze softened as Gabby finally looked over at him and he recognized the look of self-doubt in her eyes. It wasn't often that Dawson showed such vulnerability so when she did...Herrmann knew it was serious. "You need a chat with your surrogate old man?"

Gabby couldn't help but grin, "I think I do."

Herrmann nodded towards the bar stool on the other side of the counter, "well come on, kiddo, take a seat. What's troubling ya?"

A few quick strides and Gabby was sliding into the bar stool across from Herrmann. "Remember after..." she cleared her throat, unable to even bring the word to her lips. She took a deep breath, willing herself to keep it together, "when I was in the hospital, you told me that one day I'd make a great mom. Do you really think so?"

"I don't think so...I know so." He watched Gabby carefully—he knew what this was about. "This is about Louie isn't it? Stirred up some feelings for ya, huh?"

Gabby nodded, "I know things will never be the same...a part of me will always mourn what Matt and I lost but I don't know...when I held Louie in my arms it just...it felt like it was meant to be." She looked up at Herrmann, "I want to foster him."

Herrmann wasn't the least bit surprised by Gabby's confession. He'd seen the look on Gabby's face the minute she'd hurried out of the building; Louie had tugged at her heart. "I kinda figured that was coming."

"So you don't think it's a crazy idea?"

"It's not a crazy idea but it's a lot of responsibility...I don't even know all the hoops you have to jump through to become a foster parent." He gave Gabby his crooked, supportive smile, "but if anybody can do it, it's definitely you. Have you talked to Casey about this?"

Gabby sighed, "last night. He said he didn't think it was the best time for us." She shook her head, angry at herself for her actions, "and I did what I do best…I ran away."

"Yeah…" Herrmann drawled, giving Gabby a knowing look, "you should probably work on that, kid."

"I know…I know."

"Tell you what? Why don't you go find Casey and talk to him? I'll finish up here."

Gabby shook her head, "I can't even think straight right now; my words will just come out a mumbled mess."

"Well at least give him a call?" He placed a hand to his heart, "I'm getting old, kid. I'm not sure my heart can take another Dawson and Casey break-up."

* * *

Gabby had spent the better part of the past thirty minutes talking to Antonio about Louie. How she'd instantly felt something as soon as she met his eyes under the table in the apartment. How he'd latched onto her and fought to stay in her arms when DCFS came to take him away. She couldn't get him out of her head. No child deserved to be bumped around from foster home to foster home. And how he'd ended up with a foster mother who was using heroin! It was beyond her.

"I want to foster him, Antonio," Gabby finally admitted.

Gabby settled her elbows on the table and buried her face in her hands. She rubbed her eyes, "I know it sounds crazy but it was just…the minute I saw him and held him in my arms…" her voice trailed, cracking with emotion. "I don't…I just don't know how to explain it."

"I do." Antonio leaned back and watched his sister carefully. "It's called maternal instinct."

Gabby took a shaky breath and looked up at her brother, "So I'm not crazy? _This_ isn't crazy?"

Antonio tilted his head playfully, " _well,_ I wouldn't say you're _not_ crazy…oomph." Gabby's napkin hit him right in the face. "Hey now!" His smile fell when he caught the look on his little sister's face…she wasn't exactly buying into his attempt at lightening the mood. " _Gabs…_ " he whispered, "don't doubt yourself."

Stuffing her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket, Gabby's anxiety got the best of her and she started bouncing her legs. She glanced out the window, catching sight of Matt jogging across the street towards the café. "And Matt?"

"Talk to him." His eyes followed Matt as he pulled open the door, walked over to them and slid into the booth with Gabby.

"Hey…sorry I'm late." Matt draped an arm around Gabby and kissed the top of her head; fully aware of the less than friendly stare he was currently receiving from Antonio. It was the clear the siblings had been talking about him before he'd gotten there. He smiled, happy that Gabby didn't pull away from him but had actually settled into his side. He noticed the plate full of pancakes in from of her, "dream pancakes?"

Gabby smiled and scooted the plate towards Matt, "dig in, Babe."

Antonio cleared his throat and stretched back against the booth so he could reach into his pocket and pull out some cash. He counted it out—adding a generous tip before tossing it on the table. "Well, I think this my cue to go." He slid out of the booth, grabbing his jacket along the way. He gave his sister a knowing look, "Call me later, ok?"

Gabby nodded, "I will."

Antonio turned his attention to Matt, his eyes not as soft, "nice seeing you again, Matt."

Matt gave a nervous nod, "yeah…you too." Matt waited until Antonio left the café before moving to sit across from Gabby. "I should apologize," he whispered, reaching across the table and taking her hands in his. "I was caught off guard by what you'd suggested and I don't think I reacted in the best way-"

Gabby shook her head and cut Matt off, "no. I'm the one that should apologize. I shouldn't have run out like I did." She took a breath and laughed nervously, "as several people have so kindly reminded me, I have a habit of running away from situations when I get upset." She dropped her gaze to their intertwined fingers in the center of the table, "I just…I shut down. And that's not fair to you."

"But I shut _you_ down and that's not fair to you." Pulling one of his hands back, he tiredly rubbed the side of his face, surprised by the stubble he felt. He'd barely slept and when he'd gotten the text from Gabby to meet him at Over Easy, he'd rolled out of bed and hopped in the shower—not bothering to stop and shave. "If I'm honest…the way I saw you holding Louie, it brought up all these _what-ifs_ and _what could've been_ scenarios."

Closing her eyes, Gabby dropped her head and tried to force back her tears. While she knew there would always be a hole in her heart from the baby they'd lost…there was something about holding Louie in her arms that made it a little bit easier to breathe. "Matt…"

"We don't even talk about it, Gabby."

"I know," her voice cracked. "It's just…where do I start? You know?"

"Wherever you want," Matt encouraged. Not liking the distance between them, he got up and he moved so he was once again sitting next to Gabby. Placing a finger under her chin, he tilted her head up so she was now looking at him, "The minute you were cleared to return to work it was like this switch went off inside of you. Like you'd built up this wall…a wall that I couldn't even find a way to get on the other side of…"

"I don't like talking about it," Gabby whispered. "It makes me angry."

"And that's ok!" Matt insisted. "You have every right to be angry. I'm angry, too."

"It wasn't fair," she muttered, dropping her head and attempting to wipe her tears before they fell.

"No, it wasn't." He hesitated, knowing his next words would more than likely anger Gabby, "but I don't want you doing this for the wrong reasons."

Gabby's jaw clenched and she pulled away from Matt, "do you honestly think that's what I'm doing? That I'm using Louie to replace what we lost? Nothing can replace what we lost!" She shook her head, "I'll just do it on my own."

"No." He let out a frustrated sigh, "I don't want to fight about this and I definitely don't want this to tear us apart. I just needed to hear you say it..."

Taking a deep breath, Gabby willed herself to calm down. She reached for Matt's hands, "It was one of the first things I asked myself when I first started considering the idea of us taking Louie in. Because if that were the case, then I would be doing it for the wrong reasons. But that's not why."

"Ok..." Matt nodded, "ok. I just had to ask..." He took a breath, "This isn't gonna be easy, Gabby."

"When has anything ever been easy for us?" She quipped.

Matt smiled, "point taken. But honestly, between both of us working at 51, my alderman duties and your schedule at Molly's…I don't want to bring Louie into an environment that won't be able to give him the proper attention he deserves."

Gabby sat up straight, anxious to throw out Matt's concerns. "And I've thought about that. With Stella helping out at Molly's now, I figured she could probably take on some of my load. That will allow me to be home on the evenings that I'm not on shift. I can cook dinner, give Louie a bath, read him a bedtime story…give him all the attention he deserves and _needs._ "

"And where will he sleep?" Matt asked, a curious brow raised. "Severide's got the spare room."

"Shit," Gabby mumbled. She'd forgotten about that little detail. She sighed, "well Brett's place won't work. I mean…I guess I could find my own place and-"

"No," Matt interrupted, shaking his head. "Absolutely not. You've practically moved back in…there's no way I'm losing you again. I've got you back in my arms…in my bed…" He grinned, "I mean…the other morning, I could wake up to that _every_ morning."

Gabby laughed and leaned her forehead against his, "that was pretty amazing."

"Damn right it was," Matt quipped. He searched Gabby's eyes, "you really want to do this?"

Gabby nodded, "I do." She took a breath, "do you? Because if this isn't something you're really committed to then it won't work out. It'll just cause the both of us and Louie heartbreak and none of us deserve that."

"I'm _committed_ to you, Gabby. I meant what I said the other night, I want a family with _you_. For as long as I've known you, you've always been by my side and supported me no matter what. You've pushed me to be the best that I can in everything that I do. This whole alderman thing…" Matt shook his head, "that's all you, babe. Now it's my turn to support you. If you want this, then I want this."

"You're sure?"

Matt nodded, "I'm sure."


	2. A Love Like This

_**Hey guys! First, I am so very sorry it has taken me this long to update this story. I really wanted to make sure I got the plot, emotions and dialogue correct. I can't thank Em (NuGirl) enough for helping me with the ideas and editing. I honestly can't get over how wonderful the Chicago Fire and Dawsey fandom is. You guys are all wonderful people and the reviews/alerts/favorites mean so much to me. Soo...pretty please will you leave your thoughts about this chapter? As my one friend would say...because you're pretty and because I said please. :)**_

 **Back at One**

 **Chapter Two-A Love Like This**

The calls had been non-stop since their shift had started almost nine hours ago, giving Matt and Gabby hardly any time to continue their conversation they'd started earlier in the day at Over Easy. After their last call had ended nearly an hour ago, neither Matt nor Gabby seemed focused enough to even bring up the conversation. So Matt had disappeared into his office to get caught up on paperwork and Gabby had headed for the kitchen, intent on busying herself by making dinner for everyone.

"You busy?"

Matt looked up from the same report he'd been working on since he'd sat down at his desk. He dropped his pen and turned his chair a little so he was completely facing Severide. "Not really, what's going on?"

Severide raised a brow, "I came here to ask you the same thing."

"What are you talking about?"

Severide rolled his eyes, "Seriously, dude? That might work on some of the other guys here but not me. I know you. What's going on between you and Dawson?"

Matt sighed, "That obvious, huh?" He leaned back in his chair and reached back to rub the tension in his neck that had built due to his poor posture. "Do you remember that little boy that Gabby pulled from the fire? Louie?"

Severide chuckled, "How could I not? It was like love at first sight between those two." He paused, thinking over his words, "You know, in a mother and son kind of way."

Matt huffed, angry for himself at being the only one not to see it. "Well that settles it, apparently I was the only one that didn't notice it."

"What are you talking about?"

Matt motioned towards the office door, "You mind shutting the door?" While all the bunks were empty, Otis and Cruz weren't completely out of hearing distance. And those two—Crotis, as the house had unofficially nicknamed them—were definitely the gossipers of the firehouse.

Severide nodded, "This is serious, huh?" He stepped aside and shut the door before leaning up against it and crossing his arms.

"She wants us to be his foster parents."

Severide's mouth fell open, "You're serious?"

"She's convinced that this is meant to be…" he dropped his gaze to his boots, "that maybe with everything that's happened in the past year; this was supposed to happen."

"You mean with the miscarriage?"

Matt chuckled, a slight hint of bitterness outlining his laugh. "She can't even say the word," he shook his head, "besides the conversation that night in her hospital bed…we hadn't talked about it until this morning." He sighed, "And while it was definitely progress…we've still got so much to talk about."

"Not to sound harsh or anything, Case," Severide sighed, he knew he'd be toeing the line of overstepping but it was something that needed to be said, "but it's about time one of you guys finally took the plunge."

"What do you mean?"

"You guys are more alike than you think," Severide explained. "Ever since Dawson came back home from the hospital…you two have just been walking on eggshells around one another. Avoiding discussing anything and everything related to the miscarriage."

Matt shrugged, not really knowing what to say. He couldn't disagree. Severide was speaking the truth. "We're both so damn stubborn…always wanting to be strong for each other."

Severide cleared his throat, "You know…right after it happened, I tried to stay out of the apartment as much as possible to give you two your space…" he shook his head, "I came back one morning to get some things and I don't know, I guess you were doing a construction job or something. But Dawson…she was curled up on the couch…she was a mess…" He took a breath, "I mean…she was crying so hard and she'd tried to pull herself together when she saw me but it was too late. So she just sat there hugging her legs to her chest…crying. I didn't know what to say to her…I've never experienced what the two of you went through. I told her I was going to call you but she refused….she practically begged me not to. So I just sat there next to her on the other side of the couch until she stopped."

"You should've told me," Matt whispered. He couldn't help but feel a little bit of jealously course through his body as Severide spoke. Besides Gabby's hospital room after he'd told her the baby hadn't made it…he hadn't seen Gabby really break down. The first couple of weeks she'd hardly said much of anything. She'd been confined to the bed and couch, having undergone not one but _two_ major emergency surgeries. And during those weeks, Gabby had spent a lot of time sleeping. He'd worried for a bit that she'd fallen into some sort of depression but as soon as she was cleared to return to work, it was like she'd just flipped a switch.

"Maybe," Severide replied. "But I can't be some sort of go-between for you guys."

"I know," Matt agreed as he attempted rub the exhaustion from his eyes. "And like I said…this morning, I think it helped."

Severide nodded, "Well that's good. I mean, I'm not no relationship expert but if I know one thing…it's that what you two have…" he shook his head, "it's special, man." He shrugged, "And who knows…maybe this is what the two of you need."

Matt sighed, "It isn't even a guarantee that we get him, you know? There's a process, a _very_ extensive process. We've got to take classes, apply, be approved and pass a home inspection…" he glanced apologetically over at Severide, "Louie would need his own room…."

"What…oh!" Severide shook his head once he realized what Matt was referring to, "Dude! That's not a problem! I've actually been meaning to tell you guys that I've started looking around for my own place. I mean, Dawson has practically moved back in and I kind of think it is time for me to move out."

Matt gave Severide a skeptical look, "You're sure?"

"Absolutely! I mean…it was going to have to happen sooner or later." Severide broke out into a grin, "So you guys are gonna do this, huh?"

Matt nodded and despite his intentions to stay reserved and cautious about the whole thing, he couldn't help the tiny curl of his lips. "We're gonna definitely try. Like I said, it's not an easy process."

"Yeah but come on! You and Dawson are like, two of the most perfect citizens in the entire city of Chicago! Both firefighters, you're an alderman, she's a business owner…" he shook his head, laughing. "No way they'll turn you guys down."

"We'll see," Matt said with not nearly as much confidence as what Severide seemed to have.

No sooner than fifteen minutes after Severide left Matt's office to go get started on his own mountain of paperwork, did Gabby walk up to the half open office door with a plate full of food in one hand and a glass of milk in the other. "Hey," she said, catching Matt's attention. Matt looked up from his paperwork, his eyes lit up and he broke out into a smile, earning a small laugh from Gabby. "I'm not sure if that smile is for me or for the plate of food."

"Maybe a little bit of both," Matt quipped as he sent Gabby a wink.

Gabby rolled her eyes before stepping all the way into Matt's office and kicking the door close behind her. She walked over to Matt and sat his dinner down in front of him, careful of his paperwork. "You've been in here all afternoon…I thought maybe you could use a break?"

Matt glanced at the small firetruck clock—a Christmas gift from his niece a couple of years ago—that was sitting in the far left corner of his desk, it was almost six and dinner hadn't even crossed is his mind. But as if his body wanted to make a liar out of him, his stomach let out a loud rumble, earning a laugh from Gabby.

"I'll take that as a yes," Gabby said as started to move away from Matt. Her movements came to a halt, though, as Matt slipped an arm around her waist. Her eyes met Matt's with a look of confusion, "Did I forget something?"

Matt shook his head, "Stay?"

She smiled, "I am. I'm just going to go sit on your bed so you can eat." Matt shook his head and pulled Gabby down into his lap, earning a startled squeak in response, "Matt!" She settled her hands on his shoulders and attempted to give him a look of annoyance but failed miserably as soon as she met the mischievous look in his eyes. "How do you expect to eat if you can't even see your food?"

Matt shook his head, "I'll get to it." He searched her eyes; he could tell she was holding back. "Everything ok?"

Gabby shrugged and looked away, "I don't know…I honestly came here to ask you the same thing. You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

"About Louie?" Matt shook his head, "Definitely not."

"Then what's got you hiding in your office?"

Matt was honestly surprised it had taken Gabby this long to seek him out in his office and ask him that exact question. "I'm not hiding out," he defended softly. "It's just easier to think when there aren't a dozen or so people talking about anything and everything just to kill time."

Gabby shrugged, she couldn't disagree with Matt. There had been a couple of times over the past week or so during shifts that she'd disappeared outside behind the firehouse just so she could think. " _Ok_ , then what are you thinking about?" It was her turn to search his eyes for an answer but his blue orbs were doing a good job of shielding his emotions. She continued to prod, "You just said you weren't having second thoughts about fostering Louie, so…"

"And I'm not," Matt promised sincerely. He shook his head, "No, I was just thinking about the extensive process…you know? What if we go through all these steps…take the classes, get the recommendations, do the home inspection…only to be told no?"

"Matt…"

"Don't tell me you haven't thought about it, Gabby. We haven't even completely grieved over the loss of our baby and I know that if we get denied the opportunity to foster Louie…it'll feel like going to ten steps backwards." He cleared his throat, "Especially for you. You two formed a bond the minute you pulled him from that fire, Gabby. I don't want you getting hurt again…"

"Well that's a chance I'm willing to take," Gabby whispered defiantly. If she was being honest with herself, Gabby wasn't even allowing herself to think about the possibility that they could be denied the opportunity to foster Louie. She'd already fallen so hard for the little boy and to lose him too….she cleared her throat and composed herself, "I will do anything in my power to make sure we can give Louie the best family and home he deserves."

Matt nodded, not completely entirely sure Gabby was being completely honest with herself but knew that now wasn't the time to push it. They'd cross that bridge if it showed up in their path. "Ok," he whispered. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her, "I really do have a lot of paperwork to catch up on but I'd really enjoy your company...care to stay?"

Gabby grinned, "Don't have to ask me twice."

For the next hour or so, Gabby hung out in Matt's office, lounging on his bed with her laptop in front of her, going through all the itinerary she and Matt needed to become foster parents. She'd probably read over all of it at least half a dozen times but they would be going straight to DCFS after shift tomorrow and they _needed_ to be prepared.

"We still need to find someone outside of our immediate families to write a letter of recommendation for us," Gabby murmured as Matt left his desk to join her on his bed.

"Anybody in mind?" Matt asked as he kissed her cheek and settled his chin on her shoulder.

Gabby shrugged, "I thought about asking Herrmann, I mean…what's better than having another parent writing us a letter of recommendation?"

"Mmm…so why don't you ask him?"

"I don't know…I guess I was thinking we should find someone who has seen us grow as individuals and as a couple. And besides, Herrmann and I are business partners so…"

Matt nodded his understanding, "You want someone who can be unbiased?"

"Pretty much."

"Well what about Chief?" Matt suggested. "What better person to be a character reference than our Chief?"

Gabby glanced down at Matt, meeting his eyes, "You think so?"

"Only one way to find out." Matt tilted his head towards his office door, "Let's go ask him."

A couple of minutes later, Matt and Gabby were standing in front of Boden's open office door, hand in hand.

Gabby cleared her throat and knocked on the doorframe, "Hey, Chief. You got a minute?"

Chief looked up, removing his glasses as he did so and glanced between the couple, their intertwined fingers not going unnoticed by him. He couldn't help but sadly recall the last time Matt and Gabby showed up outside of his office, holding hands and asking for a moment of his time. He had a feeling this conversation had similar undertones. He nodded and waved them in, "Of course, of course." He watched as they entered and Matt shut the door behind them. "Must be serious if you're shutting my office door," he chimed in an attempt to ease the anxiety that was clearly painted on both of their faces. "What's going on?"

Gabby glanced up at Matt nervously before turning back to their Chief, "We have a bit of a favor to ask of you."

Boden nodded, "I'm listening."

"So…uh…" Gabby laughed nervously, "I guess I should start at the beginning." She took a breath and met Boden's eyes, "Matt and I have decided to try and become Louie's foster parents." She paused, watching her boss carefully, giving him a moment to digest the news. Just as she'd expected, he hadn't seen it coming.

"That's huge," Boden whispered, shifting his eyes from Gabby, to Matt and then back to Gabby again. "Being a parent with a job like this…" he shook his head, briefly thinking of all the time he'd missed with his own son. "It's not easy."

Gabby nodded, "I know…we know. But this is something we've really talked about."

Matt nodded and squeezed Gabby's hand reassuringly, "It's the right time for us, Chief. We've got a meeting with DCFS tomorrow morning to see what else we need to do to complete the application process."

"And one of things we need is for someone to write a letter of recommendation for us," Gabby explained.

"And you want me to?" Chief Boden asked.

"I mean…" Gabby looked up and shared a nervous look with Matt before returning her attention to the Chief. "Only if you feel that we deserve it."

"Gabriela Dawson, are you really questioning whether or not you deserve to be a parent?" He broke out into a huge grin and pushed himself up from his desk before making his way around it and pulling Gabby into a hug. "Come here! Both of you!" He reached out and pulled Matt into the hug too. "I can't think of another couple that deserves this more than you two!" He stepped back, still grinning and meeting the relieved look on Gabby's face, "You two really, truly do deserve this."

Gabby smiled, her shoulders feeling a little lighter now that they had their Chief's support, "Thanks, Chief."

Matt nodded and held his hand out to Boden, "We really appreciate this, Chief."

* * *

Coming to the conclusion that she wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon, Gabby kicked back the covers and sat up. She reached out and grabbed her phone, wincing against the bright light from the screen as she checked the time.

 _4:23_

She sighed, they'd returned from their last call nearly two hours ago and everyone else had managed to settle back into their bunks and immediately fall asleep with no issues. She peered over her bunk and glanced in at Matt's office, the blinds were closed but from what she could tell, the lights were off. It was just a couple of hours until their meeting with Tina Cantrell at DCFS and her thoughts were all over the place. Gabby knew it wasn't a guarantee—Tina had already told her that she wanted to get Louie placed as soon as possible. And apparently there were steps— _lots_ of steps, to becoming a foster parent in the state of Illinois.

But instead of counting sheep as she tried to fall asleep, she counted her fears and worries. The concerns Matt had voiced earlier were weighing on her heavily. What if they didn't get Louie? She wasn't so sure her already fragile heart could handle another loss. She bit her bottom lip and looked back over at Matt's office longingly before making up her mind and climbing out of bed.

She wrapped her hand around the doorknob and glanced around to make sure no one else was awake, not that it would really stop her though, and slowly turned the knob, pushing it open. Just as she'd figured, Matt was sound asleep, the only light in the office coming from his phone charging on his desk. She slipped into the room and quietly shut the door behind her before moving across Matt's office and lowering herself on to the edge of his bed.

Gabby couldn't help but envy the look of calm on Matt's face as he slept soundly. She ran her fingers through his hair in an attempt to pull him from his sleep. "Matt," she whispered timidly. He started to stir and she couldn't help but feel bad for waking him up for entirely selfish reasons. "Matt?"

He was startled awake, his arms flailing as he nearly knocked Gabby off of his bed. "What? What is it? Is it a call? I don't hear the alarm!"

Gabby shook her head, "No, no…it's not a call." She sighed and placed her hands on his shoulders, silently urging him to relax. "Sorry….I shouldn't have woke you up…"

Matt rubbed at his eyes as he settled back into his pillows and turned towards Gabby as he became a little bit more coherent. The look of confusion in his eyes quickly turned to concern once his eyes adjusted to the dark and he was able to make out the look on Gabby's face. "No…no, it's fine. What's wrong?"

"Can't sleep," she admitted with a shrug.

Matt scooted back until he ran into the wall and pulled the blanket back, motioning for Gabby to join him, "Come here."

Gabby didn't have to be told twice as she quickly climbed into bed with Matt. She settled on her side so she was facing him and slipped an arm around his waist, closing the distance between them, "Thank you." She pressed her lips to his, "I just really need this right now." She buried her head in the crook of Matt's neck, "I just need you."

Matt pulled his blanket up over them, making sure Gabby was tucked underneath it and wrapped his arm around her waist, his hand finding the small of her back and he began moving his hand in a soothing circle. He kissed the side of her head, his lips lingering just above her ear, "Talk to me, Gabby."

His neck tickled with each uneven breath Gabby released but Matt didn't want to rush her. Here she was, in _his_ arms after _seeking_ him out. He wasn't about to rush her and force her to tell him what was troubling her. Right now, it was just enough that she was looking to him for comfort. For the longest time after the miscarriage, he'd wake up in the middle of the night to find Gabby's side of the bed empty. Sometimes he'd find her in the kitchen cooking or in the living room watching some Spanish soap opera and he'd quickly figured out it was some sort of defense mechanism to keep her from wandering down the dark alley of her thoughts.

Finally bringing her head up to meet Matt's eyes, Gabby sighed and a hand up to caress his face, "I'm just worried…" her voice drifted as she lost the fight to keep up with her own thoughts.

"Worried about what?" Matt asked softly, his voice recapturing Gabby's attention.

Refocusing, Gabby shook her head and brought her eyes back up to Matt's, "What you said earlier…what if this doesn't happen for us?"

Matt had been expecting this. As soon as he'd broached the subject with Gabby earlier in the day and she'd immediately shook off his concerns, he knew that once he gave her time to think about it, she'd bring it back up.

"Well…we'll get through it together," Matt answered calmly. "No matter what's happened or what will happen…I love you and nothing will ever change that, ok?"

" _Don't_ ," Gabby whispered as she shook her head in anger. But the anger wasn't at Matt…it was directed towards herself. "If this falls through…it'll be another heartache and _again_ it will be because of me."

"Gabby…" Matt shook his head, genuinely confused. "What do you mean?"

"I…." she took a deep breath, "this was my idea…if it doesn't work out; it will be all my fault for even suggesting it..." She reached up and wiped at her eyes, "it'll be my fault… _again_."

Matt shook his head, still not following Gabby's train of thought, "You can't blame yourself if this doesn't work out." He brought his lips to her forehead, letting them linger in hopes of transferring some of his strength over to her.

"But if I can't even get custody of a child…let alone, carry a child…"

Oh. It suddenly made sense to Matt.

"Baby," he whispered, "losing the baby wasn't your fault. Unfortunately, there is nothing you or any doctor could've done to save the baby." His heart ached, the guilt was so clearly written across Gabby's face. How had he not noticed it before?

Gabby's bottom lip trembled with emotion and tears threatened to fall as the little voice in her head whispered otherwise. Not a day didn't go by since her miscarriage that she didn't hear the taunting whispers in her mind and in her conscious. She took a shaky breath and dropped her eyes; she was too ashamed to even look Matt in the eye.

* * *

After their routine post shift briefing, Matt had looked up to see Gabby already leaving the conference room in a deep but distracted conversation with Stella. When he'd woken up, Gabby was gone and for a couple minutes he'd laid there, staring up at the ceiling and debating whether or not he'd dreamt up the whole thing; Gabby waking him up and climbing into bed with them, their talk, Gabby's tear laced confession. All of it.

But as soon as he'd stepped into the locker room and met Gabby's eyes, he knew it had all been real. She looked exhausted but smiled at him in return as she pulled her bag from her locker and draped it over her shoulder. "How about we stop for some coffee on our way?" He asked as he approached her on the way to his own locker.

Gabby smiled, "You read my mind." She reached up and brushed her hand along the side of his face before standing on her toes and giving him a kiss, not in the least bit bothered that there were other people around. "Thank you," she whispered as she pulled back, her eyes a little brighter. "Last night…it helped…"

"I wish you would've confided in me sooner..." He took her hand in his and kissed it, "Please stop trying to bury all the pain. I want you to talk to me, Gabs."

"I know," Gabby mumbled. "And I'm getting there, I promise."

"I know you are," he smiled, "and so am I."

She took a shaky breath, "And you're sure you're ok with this?"

" _Yes_ ," Matt insisted. "I've been starting to think maybe we need this just as much as Louie does…" he shook his head, "and that doesn't mean we're using him to fill a void. But maybe he'll help us heal?"

* * *

"Wow," Ms. Cantrell said as she looked over the paperwork Gabby had handed her, shaking her head regretfully. "It's great that the two of you want to become Louie's foster parents but I'm looking to get Louie placed with a family within the next couple of days and as you both know, the application process takes several months."

Gabby shook her head, not ready to give up, "Isn't there some way we can speed up the process? I'm a firefighter, Matt's a firefighter and an alderman. Not to mention, my brother is a detective…he knows tons of people at DCFS."

Tina shook her head, "I'm sorry, Gabriela. I just don't see it happening."

"But it's not impossible," Gabby countered, her words teetering on the line between being a statement and asking for Tina's reassurances.

"It's not _impossible_ but it's very unlikely."


	3. One Of These Mornings

**_First, I once again apologize for the delay in updating. I know I don't update on a regular basis but I hope the quality of the chapters are always worth the wait...maybe, yeah? You guys are all so amazing with your reviews and I just can't voice enough how much reading your feedback means to me (I think every writer can agree with that). I know a lot of you are waiting for me to update HWIK but it's going to be another week before that goes out because I'm going on vacation tomorrow. But I really wanted to get SOMETHING posted for at least one of my stories. Also, shout out to Em (NuGirl) for reading over this and letting me bounce different ideas off of her. And I don't know if you noticed...but she has a new story out and you guys should go read it. Ok...one last thing, sorry for the Spanish mistakes...I used google and youtube as resources. :)_**

Back at One

Chapter Three: One Of These Mornings

" _I'm sorry," Mr. Harvey shook his head and pulled his eyes away from his computer screen and back over to the couple sitting across from him. "But Louie Thompson was placed with a family last night."_

It'd taken almost two days, but Tina had managed to get Matt and Gabby in for a sit-down interview with Mr. Harvey. Unfortunately, though, it had not gone as the couple had hoped.

As soon as they stepped outside, Gabby pushed her black sunglasses down over her eyes and took off in a quick stride down the block where Matt had parked his truck. With the battery to the remote on Matt's key ring dead, Gabby stood with her arms crossed and her back to him as she waited for him to catch up with her and manually unlock the truck door for her.

"Gabby…" Matt started as he opened the door for her.

"Please…" she begged, refusing to look up at him. "Just… just not yet, ok?"

Matt nodded and dropped his hand from the door before moving around the front of the truck towards the driver's seat. By the time he climbed in, Gabby was already in her seat with her seatbelt on and her arms once again crossed over her chest in a defensive manner. He sighed and started the engine before turning his attention to merging back onto the street. Matt drove around aimlessly a bit knowing that if they went home, Gabby would do anything to avoid talking.

So for now, he was just going to drive.

A half hour went by before Matt's stomach growled, reminding him they'd skipped breakfast. They'd both slept through their respective alarms and had woken up late. As if on cue, his eyes fell on a donut shop just up the street. He snuck a quick peek in Gabby's direction, "How about some brunch?"

"Not hungry," she lied.

"Well I am." He made sure it was clear before merging into the lane to their right and turning into the small parking lot at the end of the strip of businesses. Lucky for him, the donut shop was on the very end. "How about some coffee, then?"

Gabby shook her head, "No."

Matt sighed, "Ok. I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

Ten minutes later Matt was climbing back into his truck with a small brown carry-out bag tucked under his arm and carrier holding two large coffees. It didn't take long after he'd started driving again before Gabby was reaching for the bag he'd sat in the console and grabbing a donut.

He couldn't help the small smile, he knew she'd eventually cave.

They walked hand in hand down one of the less popular paths along Chicago's waterfront for nearly an hour before wandering off the trail and finding a more secluded area in a neighboring park. Matt led them to one of the many benches that were sporadically placed throughout the park. Taking a seat, he pulled Gabby into his lap and searched her eyes, "You ready to talk? I don't want either one of us holding back our emotions to where it gets to the point that it's affecting our relationship." He shook his head, "We've been down that road too many times."

Gabby knew Matt was right. Letting herself sink farther into his embrace, she settled her hands at his side and leaned down to rest her forehead against his shoulder. She released a heavy sigh before finally voicing what had been weighing on her since they'd left Mr. Harvey's office. "What the hell is wrong with us, Matt? What's wrong with me?"

Matt raised an eyebrow, not quite following Gabby's thought process, "What do you mean?"

Gabby lifted her head up from Matt's shoulder and wiped at her eyes, "It's like we're just not meant to be parents. Losing the baby and now losing Louie…"

"Babe," Matt whispered, his own emotions getting the best of him as he tripped over saying the single word. "Nothing's wrong with us," he promised. He reached his hands up and cupped her face, using the pads of his thumbs to brush away the tears that had still managed to slip by, "And there is absolutely nothing wrong with you." He shook his head, "I guess maybe the time just hasn't been right for us."

"But why? I don't…" she pushed Matt's hands away and gasped for air as she tried to keep her sobs from completely taking over. Her thoughts were all over the place and she was having trouble even forming a coherent thought. "I don't… I don't understand."

"There's nothing to understand-"

"And you tried to tell me that this would happen," Gabby interrupted, wiping angrily at her eyes. "I'm sorry!"

Matt shook his head, he was struggling coming up with something, _anything_ to say that would ease Gabby's misguided guilt. "You've got to stop apologizing, Gabby. _None_ of this is your fault. Please..." he begged, "I need you to start believing that."

"I'm don't know if I can!" Gabby cried.

"You have to," Matt countered, the almost harsh tone in his voice not only startling Gabby but himself. Her eyes cut to his, fresh tears pooling and threatening to fall. He took a breath in an attempt to calm himself before continuing, "Gabby… it hurts to see you struggling with the weight of this unnecessary guilt. Things happen…" he sighed, relieved that she actually seemed to be listening to him, "horrible things happen that can never be fully explained. But losing the baby… Dr. Halstead insists that there was nothing that could've been done to prevent it from happening. And didn't Dr. Gregory say the same thing?" Matt asked, referring to Gabby's OBGYN. He didn't wait for a response before continuing, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that even if there's an explanation, there's always going to be that lingering _why._ _Why you? Why us?_ Right?"

Gabby nodded and cleared her throat, "That's what hurts the most."

"It is," Matt agreed, feeling his own eyes sting with tears. "But you can't let that hurt take over, Gabby. You can't let it consume you."

"I know," she murmured.

"So can you promise me something?"

Gabby reluctantly met Matt's eyes, "Hmm?"

"Promise me that whenever you start feeling like it's all becoming too much… just come talk to me, ok?"

"I promise," Gabby murmured before leaning down and pressing her lips to Matt's, "thank you."

"No need to thank me… that's what I'm here for… to stand by your side, no matter what."

Gabby grinned and pulled back so she could meet Matt's eyes. Tilting her head, she challenged Matt's words, "No matter what, huh?"

Matt chuckled and went along with Gabby's shift in mood, "Uh-oh… I know that look."

"What look?"

"The look you were just giving me…" Matt replied. He raised a brow, "You want something."

Gabby couldn't even pretend to be upset as Matt called her out. She laughed, "Ok, ok… you caught me..."

"Well, don't keep me in suspense," Matt quipped.

Gabby slipped her hands up Matt's chest and over his shoulders before connecting them on the other side of his neck, "Can we go back to the donut shop on our way home? I really want another one of those strawberry filled donuts. Please?"

"Well since they've got good coffee… I suppose it won't be too much of an inconvenience for me," Matt joked without missing a beat.

Gabby laughed and Matt's grin grew, "God, I love your laugh," he whispered before kissing her. He pulled back and searched her eyes. Though still bloodshot from her tears, he saw a tiny bit of hope behind the sadness and anger. "We're going to be ok, Gabby. One of these days, we'll have our family."

"Promise?" she whispered in a rare show of vulnerability.

"With all my heart."

"I love you," Gabby breathed as she once again settled herself against Matt's chest, moving her arms down and tucking them between their bodies and burying her face in the crook of his neck.

Matt tightened his arms around Gabby, "I love you more."

"Not possible," she countered.

"Oh, it's very much possible," he said back. He grinned, feeling Gabby's breath tickle the side of his neck as she let out a light laugh.

* * *

Sitting in what had unofficially become his spot at the bar, Matt watched with concern as Gabby moved around behind the bar in intense concentration while she prepared drinks. It had been a couple of days since their meeting with Mr. Harvey had brought about disappointing news and the both of them were trying to move on. And while Gabby could easily put up a front for complete strangers just like she was doing now, Matt could always tell when she was struggling. And right now, she was struggling. And well… so was he.

He watched as she served a drink to one of Molly's regulars, sharing a laugh with him before taking a few steps and greeting another regular. Matt had told Gabby on several occasions that it was because of her that Molly's had so many regular customers. Her welcoming smile, relaxing demeanor and ability to start a conversation with just about anybody was just a few of the qualities he loved about her.

Ok, who was he kidding? He loved every single one of her qualities. Even the ones she would list as negative.

"How's she doing?"

Matt was startled out of his thoughts by Antonio's question and turned to see that Gabby's brother had taken a seat next to him. _She was trying_ , he thought to himself before clearing his throat and speaking, "She's managing."

Antonio nodded, "And you?"

Matt shrugged, "The same."

Antonio chuckled quietly, "Have you been taking lessons from my sister on how to answer questions with the least amount of words?"

Matt couldn't help but crack a small smile before bringing his bottle of beer to his lips and taking a small sip. "It's not a good thing. Definitely doesn't help with arguments when both of our first instincts are to internalize our feelings." He snuck another glance in Gabby's direction before turning his attention back to Antonio, "Thanks again for pulling some strings and putting a rush on our background checks… even if it was a waste of time."

Antonio took another swig of his beer and also stole a quick glance his sister's way before responding. "I gotta say, Casey… while I fully supported you and Gabs, it baffled me a little. You guys can't even stay engaged but you want to foster a kid?"

Matt shook his head, "Trust me, if I had it my way… Gabby and I would have been married months ago."

"So you're saying it's my sister then?"

The underlying tone in Antonio's voice didn't go unnoticed by Matt and he shook his head, trying to backtrack and find a better way to voice what he meant. "It's timing. It's just been one thing after another, you know? We can't seem to catch a break."

"Fair enough. So have you guys finally sat down and talked about everything that's happened? With losing the baby?"

"We're getting there. It's been six months and there are some days where my emotions are so raw that it feels like I'm back in Gabby's room telling her that the baby didn't make it."

Antonio shook his head, just thinking about the pain that his sister and Matt must've been in, it was enough to twist his stomach into knots. "I can't even imagine what it feels like to experience such a loss and while I know my baby sister is strong, mentally and physically, everybody has their limits." He sighed, "But with Gabriela… she'll go to great lengths to try and show that she's fine. These past couple of years, man, it's just been one thing after another. Honestly, ever since Leslie…"

"I know," Matt whispered, pressing the palm of his free hand to his forehead. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, "And I know… I know I wasn't a very good source of comfort for her. She pushed me away and I let her. More than once."

"Honestly, after the miscarriage, I was a little worried it would break the two of you apart again," Antonio admitted.

Matt shook his head, "I'll never, ever let that happen again. I told Gabby that being with her is the only thing that makes sense and I truly believe that. With everything else, there are always those days where I question whether I'm where I'm supposed to be or if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. My job as a lieutenant and being an Alderman…" He took a breath, "But I've never doubted my relationship with your sister. Never."

"That's good to hear," Antonio stated, taking another sip of his beer and glancing up at the television mounted on the wall behind the bar. Though his eyes were on the game, his mind was still on his conversation with Matt. "I like you, Matt… I really do. You're an upstanding guy who is obviously madly in love with my baby sister." He cut his gaze back over to Matt, "But don't let that confuse you, if you break her heart, I will make your life a living hell."

Matt swallowed hard, Antonio's tone had went from relaxed to threatening in less than a second. "Trust me, for those months we were apart… it was definitely the worst kind of hell I've ever experienced. One I never want to be stuck in again. I can promise you, I'll never break her heart."

As the night wore on, Herrmann could see the exhaustion in Gabby's movements around the bar and knew she was having a hard time keeping up. He wasn't sure if it was the stress of losing out on fostering Louie… but she was starting to lose focus. When she disappeared into the kitchen, he took the opportunity to get her away from the noise and chaos to see how she was really doing.

"How ya holding, up?"

"I'm fine," Gabby insisted, the defensive tone clearly evident in her voice. She was tired of the questions and even more tired of the sympathetic looks. It was like she was reliving her first day back at Fifty-One after her miscarriage all over again. And she hated it.

Herrmann frowned, he wasn't buying it. "Give yourself a break, Gabby."

Gabby pressed the palms of her hands against her tightly closed eyes, Gabby shook her head, "I'm just tired. That's all." It wasn't a complete lie, she _was_ tired. In fact, she was absolutely exhausted. Physically and emotionally.

"Well why don't you and Casey head home?" Gabby dropped her hands and opened her eyes, her lips pulling apart as she started to protest. But Herrmann beat her to it, "Don't argue with me, ok? I've got Kidd with me which means I've got Severide with me so we'll manage without you."

Matt had been surprised when Gabby walked up to him at Molly's with her purse in her hand and announced that they were going home. But he most definitely didn't question it. Instead, he jumped up from the stool and dug his keys out of his pocket before resting his hand on the lower part of Gabby's back and following her out of the the bar.

When they got home, Matt had figured they would be going to bed so when Gabby had headed straight for the couch and insisted on watching the rest of the Blackhawks game, he was little surprised. She'd instantly cuddled into his embrace as soon as he'd taken a seat in one corner of the couch and within ten minutes, she was sound asleep.

The game was almost over when Matt was startled out of his concentration by Gabby's phone buzzing across the coffee table. He glanced down at Gabby to see the noise wasn't intrusive enough to pull her from her slumber. Careful not to make too many sudden movements, he placed his hand on her side and reached forward for her phone. It had stopped ringing by the time it was in his grasp. He glanced at the screen and frowned, DCFS had called. Before he could contemplate what to do, it started to ring again. And again, it was from DCFS. It had been a couple of days since their meeting with Mr. Harvey.

He cleared his throat and answered, "Hello?"

"Oh, sorry….I must've misdialed, I'm looking for Gabriela Dawson."

Matt shook his head, "No, this is her phone. Uh…but she's unavailable at the moment, can I take a message?" Matt glanced down at Gabby's sleeping form, he knew if he attempted to wake her it would still take a couple of minutes before she was completely coherent and focused. "This is her…her boyfriend."

"Oh, Mr. Casey! This is Tina Cantrell from DCFS. I'm kind of grasping at straws here but I was hoping Gabriela could do me a favor?" She sighed but didn't wait for Matt to say anything before continuing, "Louie's new foster parents didn't quite work out and they sent him back-"

" _Sent him back?_ You mean they _returned_ him? You can do that? He's a child, not a pair of shoes that were a half size too small." He shook his head, "What do you need from us?"

"He's been asking for Gabriela and I know it is a bit out of line considering everything but-"

Matt shook his head, "You don't need to explain." After promising Ms. Cantrell that they would be there as soon as they could, Matt hung up and turned his attention to Gabby. He rubbed his hand up and down her back, effectively pulling her from her slumber, "Gabby?"

Gabby stirred and rolled over so she was now facing the back of the couch before pulling the blanket up to her chin, "No…sleep."

"DCFS just called…Louie's back in the group home." He watched as Gabby's eyes popped open and she jumped up, nearly falling off the couch, "What? Why? What happened?" She tried to untangle herself from the blanket but failed miserably.

Matt shook his head and reached out to help her, "I don't know. But I told Ms. Cantrell we'd be over there as soon as possible. She said he's been asking for you." He stood up and held a hand out for her, helping her up off the couch. "Come on, get your shoes on and grab your jacket. I'll drive."

Gabby hurriedly slipped into her boots that she'd kicked off when she'd plopped down the couch and moved across the apartment to grab her jacket. They were headed out the door when she abruptly turned around and grabbed Matt's face, pulling him down towards her and kissing him. "Thank you," she murmured against his lips as she pulled back.

"You don't have to thank me," he insisted as he reached up and placed his hands atop hers, giving them a small squeeze.

"Yes, I do," she whispered.

* * *

"What happened?" Gabby asked as she rushed over to Ms. Cantrell, Matt right behind her.

Ms. Cantrell shook her head, "Things didn't work out with the family we placed him with."

"So they just sent him back? He's two!"

"He was lashing out…hitting and biting. They have kids of their own and they were concerned for their safety."

Gabby shook her head, not at all buying the excuse. "Well what did they expect? He's scared! Where is he?"

"In the rec-room watching cartoons. I know I'm out of line for calling you but-"

"I'm glad you did," Gabby insisted before moving towards the door and pushing it open just a bit and glancing in on Louie. She turned and looked back at Matt, "Are you coming?"

"I…I don't want to overwhelm him," Matt explained.

"You won't," Gabby assured Matt before holding her hand out for him to take.

Matt nodded and took Gabby's hand, letting her lead him into the room. His stomach dropped at the sight of Louie sitting on the couch just feet in front of them, holding onto his big blue blanket for dear life. It was the same blanket that they'd gone back to the apartment to get so Gabby could return it to the toddler.

It really was his only source of comfort.

With tears still streaming down Louie's face, he let out a small hiccup and rubbed at his eyes. He was fighting the exhaustion.

Gabby glanced up at Matt, the look of sadness and anger in his eyes matching her own. She turned her attention back to Louie and called out his name, "Louie?"

At the sound of the familiar voice, Louie's head snapped up. He discarded his blanket—the only real security he's ever known—and climbed down from the couch. He ran towards Gabby as fast as his little legs would take him and threw himself into her arms, nearly causing her to fall backwards. "Hey there, sweetie!"

Louie's little hands grasped at the material of Gabby's jacket in attempt to never let go. As he buried his face into the crook of her neck, Gabby could feel his warm tears hit her skin and the pieces of her broken heart shattered even more. "Oh, sweetie," she whispered as she glanced up at Matt. She secured him in her arms just as she had done a week ago when she'd pulled him from beneath the table and with a little help from Matt, stood up. "It's ok, I've got you."

"Got you," he mumbled back as he started to calm down.

"Oh you've definitely got me." Gabby smiled and kissed the side of his head, "I missed you."

"Miss you," Louie repeated, settling his head on Gabby's shoulder and looking up at Matt.

Matt smiled at Louie, "Hi Louie, I'm Matt." The sadness in the two year old's chocolate orbs startled Matt; a child's eyes were supposed to be filled with wonder and happiness, not fear and uncertainty. Right then, right there, he made a promise to Louie, to Gabby, and to himself that he would do everything in his power to give Louie the life he deserved. If the path wasn't there for Louie to take, he'd lay the foundation himself. If the doorknob was just out of Louie's reach, he'd open the door for him. If there was a barrier blocking Louie from moving forward and succeeding, he'd tear the damn thing down with his bare hands. Gabby was right, this was meant to be. Maybe it was unexplainable...but then again, weren't some of the greatest miracles?

Gabby smiled and met Matt's eyes over the top of Louie's head, "Do you remember Matt, Louie?"

Louie lifted his head back up and stared at Matt as he seemed to think about it before finally giving Matt a small smile, "Fire!"

"That's right! Matt was there when I met you. He's a firefighter, too."

"Fire-fire too?"

Matt grinned and nodded, his anxieties slowly disappearing the longer he was right here with Louie and Gabby. Gabby had been right. It just made sense. "That's right. We work at the same firehouse." He pointed to Louie's blanket that had been discarded, "Is that your blanket?"

Louie lifted his head up off of Gabby's shoulder and followed the direction of Matt's finger, "Mine! It's blue!"

"Do you like blue? Blue is my favorite color," he walked towards the couch and leaned down to pick up the blanket before taking a seat.

Gabby followed Matt's lead and carried Louie over to the couch. She tried to sit him down but it only caused the toddler to strengthen his grip on her.

"No go! No go," he begged.

"I'm not going anywhere," she assured him before easing herself onto the couch next to Matt and settling Louie in her lap. Finally getting a chance to see him face to face, she couldn't help the anger that washed over her. His eyes were bloodshot and his chubby cheeks stained with tears. "Are you sleepy?" she asked.

Louie's eyes widened and he shook his head, "No sleep!"

"No sleep, huh?" Gabby asked as she took the blanket Matt was holding out to her, giving him an appreciative smile before turning her attention back to Louie and draping it over his back. Louie cuddled deeper into her embrace and eventually released his grip on her jacket, tucking his arms between their bodies. "Well, how about a song?"

Louie's head popped back up, a little glimmer shining through the sadness in his big brown eyes, "A sing song?"

Gabby grinned, "Yes, a sing song." It'd been awhile since she'd last sang along to the radio, let alone sang a Spanish lullaby her mother used sing to her as a child so she couldn't help but feel a little nervous. She met Matt's gaze, he seemed just as anxious as Louie to hear her sing. She cleared her throat softly. "Duermete mi niño, duermete mi amor, duermete pedazo de mi corazón. Tu mamá…"she paused as she started to lose herself in her own emotions only to be pulled back by Louie's timid voice.

"More?" he whispered, lifting his head from her shoulder and looking back up at Gabby.

Gabby smiled and dropped a kiss on Louie's nose before taking a breath and continuing, "Tu mamá te quiere, tu papá también, todos en la casa te queremos bién…"

* * *

Seeing Gabby and Matt approaching, Tina closed the file she'd been looking over and stood up just as the couple reached her desk. Extremely appreciative but also apologetic, she met Gabby's tear filled eyes, "I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do….he just kept asking for you."

Gabby shook her head, protectively wrapping her arms around herself, "Don't apologize. I just…" she took a deep breath and again shook her head, "it doesn't have to be like this." She knew she was on the verge of breaking down and did not want an audience. "Mind if I use your bathroom?"

Tina shook her head, "Not at all." She pointed towards the opposite hallway that led back up to the lobby, "Go towards the lobby but instead of turning right into the lobby, turn left. It's the second door on the right."

"Thanks," Gabby mumbled before hurrying away.

Matt watched and waited until Gabby disappeared around the corner before turning his attention back to Tina. "So what's next? Does he stay here? Do you place him in another home with parents that don't want him or with a drug addict?" Matt knew Tina was doing the best she could with the resources she had, but there was a perfect home available for Louie but because of a technicality in the application process, an innocent child was going to suffer. "You see the connection they have," Matt argued, "you can't just ignore that."

"Mr. Casey-"

"I've seen her with kids! Her niece and nephew, terrified kids on calls...she's not even a mother but the instinct she has, you can't teach that in classes or learn it from a book! We can finish the classes and be certified by tomorrow."

Tina sighed, she knew Matt was right. She'd been secretly rooting for Gabby since the beginning. Unfortunately, it wasn't often she found people so willing to take in a child with a history like Louie's so she'd honestly been a little bit hesitant. Everyone wanted a 'readymade' child. One that already knew right from wrong, had perfect manners and had no physical or emotional problems. "I won't let Louie's connection with Gabby go unnoticed when I speak with Mr. Harvey tomorrow morning. I shouldn't be telling you this, but if it weren't for the timing, you two probably would have gotten Louie. Your letter of recommendation and background checks definitely weren't an issue. Not to mention, Mr. Harvey loved meeting with you guys. You're both upstanding citizens of this community with the means and resources to give Louie everything he needs to grow." She paused, taking a breath and taking a minute to watch Matt closely. She knew Gabby wanted this. But she needed to know Matt did too. "But he's not just like any other two year old. He'll be three next month and he's not where he should be in several areas. His speech, potty training, his behavior, identifying simple objects and colors."

"Like Gabby told Mr. Harvey, our eyes are wide open," Matt insisted. "And like _you_ just said, we have the means and resources to give Louie all the help he needs."

* * *

Gabby paced the single person bathroom as she tried to ignore the feeling of the walls closing in around her. With the floodgates already broken, her tears fell freely and uncontrollably. "Get it together, Gabby," she whispered angrily in between sobs, berating herself for breaking down.

How could someone just abandoned Louie? _Again?_ He was such a sweet, beautiful, innocent child full of such promise and potential just waiting to be discovered if someone would just give him the love he deserved. She and Matt could do that! If they were just given the chance, they could prove to Tina, Mr. Harvey and the rest of DCFS that their home and their love was the perfect fit for Louie!

With the waves of nausea in her stomach reaching an unmanageable high, she stopped pacing and dove towards the toilet. Pressing her hands on both sides of the toilet seat and bracing herself, she lunged forward with each wave until there was nothing left in her stomach. After dry heaving a few times, she finally pulled herself together and stood back up.

She tried to rip off a small piece of toilet paper to wipe her mouth and let out another sob as the roll seemed to keep going until she ended up with a fistful of toilet paper. She couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh from the obvious irony. The punches just kept rolling, no matter how hard she tried to stop them. Finally managing to break off the toilet paper, she wiped at the corners of her mouth before discarding it and flushing it down the toilet.

Feeling a little unsteady on her feet, she moved slowly towards the sink by the door and grimaced at her horrible reflection in the mirror. She washed her hands and splashed some cold water on her face before redoing her ponytail. Taking a deep breath, she tried to get her emotions in check before reaching for the door and leaving the bathroom.

Making her way back to where she'd left Matt and Tina in a hurry, she couldn't help but notice Matt's determined stance. His hands were on his hips and there was a look of certainty in his eyes, as she got closer, she was able to hear what he was saying.

" _Like Gabby told Mr. Harvey, our eyes are wide open," Matt insisted. "And like you just said, we have the means and resources to give Louie all the help he needs."_

Gabby watched as Tina started to say something but paused when she saw her walking towards them.

"Are you alright, Gabriela?" Tina asked with concern as Gabby stopped next to Matt.

Gabby managed a small smile and an even smaller nod, "I will be once Louie gets the home he deserves." She felt a new source of determination wash over her and this time she wasn't backing down without a fight.

Tina nodded and gave her own small smile, "It's like I told Mr. Casey, I'll be speaking with Mr. Harvey first thing tomorrow morning. I can't make any promises but I'll definitely be fighting for you two. You'll still have to pass a home inspection. That won't be a problem, will it?"

"No," Matt and Gabby answered in unison.

Tina smiled, "Good. I'll get with Mr. Harvey first thing tomorrow morning." She gave them a cautious look, " _Again_ , I can't make any promises."

"We know," Gabby insisted, finally finding her voice as she tried to keep her renewed hopes at bay.


	4. Just Call Me

_Hey guys! As always...thank you for all of your reviews (and patience). Once again, it took me forever to update and I do apologize. But this chapter is long so I hope it makes up for the delay. Also, thank you to everyone who reviewed my one shot, As Three, As One. Also, I would like to thank Em for always reading over my stuff and letting me just ramble on about my story ideas. Haha.  
_

 _Also...apparently I say 'also' a lot_

 _Also (see!)...we're almost there, guys. October 11th is soooo close!_

 **Back at One**

 **Chapter Four: Just Call Me**

With her arms crossed, Gabby leaned against the doorframe to what would soon be Louie's bedroom-or so she hoped. She watched with guilt as Severide packed up the rest of his things and sighed, "You're sure you're not upset?"

With Gabby and Matt getting a call from Tina that she and a home inspector from DCFS would be stopping by at six o'clock that evening to take a tour of their apartment, the couple had to break the news to Severide that they needed to turn his room into a room for Louie. Ironically enough, they'd had to actually wait until he came home-apparently, he'd spent the night over at Stella's place.

Neither of them seemed too surprised when Severide had told them where he'd spent the night. Instead, Gabby told Severide to call Stella and the rest of their firehouse family and have them come over to help them get their place together in time for the inspection.

An inspection that would take place in seven hours.

After he finished taping up a box, Severide glanced over his shoulder and caught the guilt in Gabby's gaze. He let out a sigh of his own, "Dawson…"

Unbeknownst to the couple, as soon as Matt had told him a couple of days ago about their attempt to become Louie's foster parents, Severide had instantly started looking for a new place. Like he'd mentioned to Matt, it was something he'd actually been quietly considering for a while but hadn't really acted on it.

Until now.

And he had already found a place but he wasn't planning on moving in it until the following week. But since part of the application process for Matt and Gabby included them showing DCFS that Louie would have all the living accommodations he needed, they had to transform their spare bedroom out of a bachelor pad and into the perfect bedroom for a toddler.

"I feel like a horrible friend right now," Gabby added, dropping her eyes to the carpeted floor.

Severide shook his head, "My answer is the same as it was the first fifty times you asked me… _no_."

Gabby gave Severide a sheepish smile, "Sorry," she mumbled.

"Don't worry about it." Lifting the box up, he moved it across the bedroom and added it to the stack next to Gabby. He straightened back up and smiled at Gabby, "All that matters is that the two of you find happiness again and if this is what will bring you two happiness… then the last thing I want to do is somehow hinder your chances."

Gabby couldn't help the tears that filled her eyes and within seconds she was crossing the room and wrapping her arms around Kelly, pulling him into a big hug. "Thank you," she whispered.

Severide was a little thrown off by Gabby's tears but didn't hesitate and wrapped his arms around her, tightening the hug. "You don't have to thank me, Gabs. This was only supposed to be a temporary thing and it's been two years…" he felt Gabby tense in his arms and knew her thoughts had also gone to Shay. He rubbed her back, "She'd be so proud of you, you know that right? Everything you've accomplished and everything you've overcome…she'd be so damn proud."

Pulling back, Gabby dropped her head in embarrassment and wiped her eyes. She gave a nervous laugh, "You know this is the second time this morning I've cried? I'm a mess."

"Nothing wrong with that," Severide assured Gabby. "It's a big day. And in my experience, big days always bring out every damn emotion known to humankind."

Gabby laughed again, only this time it was less heavy, "Thanks for the words of encouragement, Kelly."

Severide raised an eyebrow, "Well that's a new one."

Dragging an empty dolly behind him, Matt walked into the apartment, "Herrmann and Cruz…" his voice trailed off at the sight of Gabby wiping her eyes. "What happened? What's wrong?" He sat the dolly up straight and rushed over to Gabby, immediately reaching for her. "Babe?"

Gabby shook her head and gave Matt a reassuring smile but welcomed his arms around her waist as he pulled her to him, "I promise, I'm ok."

"Then why are you crying?" With no answer from Gabby, Matt turned his attention to Kelly in search of an answer, "What happened?"

Severide shook his head, "It's my fault... we were talking and the topic kind of turned to Shay…"

"Oh…" Matt really didn't need to hear anything else to understand Gabby's tears. He turned back to Gabby, "She'd be so proud of you, babe."

"What? Are you and Kelly exchanging notes?" she quipped in an attempt to lighten the mood as she wiped away her lingering tears. "That's exactly what he just said."

Matt caught Kelly's eyes over the top of Gabby's head and gave his friend an appreciative nod before turning his attention back to Gabby, "You want to take a break and maybe get some lunch?" He tilted his head in thought, "Did you even eat breakfast?"

"I had some toast," Gabby answered as she walked back into the room and grabbed the broom that was leaning against the wall in an attempt to busy herself. "What were you going to say about Herrmann and Cruz when you walked in?"

"You had one _bite_ of _my_ toast," Matt countered, following Gabby into the bedroom. While Gabby was very good at masking her emotions, _everyone_ who knew Gabby knew that when she was stressed, food was not her friend. She always ended up with a stomach ache from worrying so much and food just seemed to make it worse. Sometimes leading to her getting physically sick. But with the time they would lose by arguing, Matt decided to drop it. For now, anyway.

"You know what? I'm actually feeling a bit hungry myself," Severide chipped in. "I'm picking Kidd up after I drop off this load of stuff….we can stop and pick up some pizzas." He turned to Matt, "Is it cool if I use your truck since Herrmann and Cruz aren't back yet?"

"Absolutely," Matt pulled his keys from his pocket and tossed them to Severide.

With Otis manning Molly's today due to being short-staffed and a lot of the squad guys busy with previous commitments, Herrmann along with his wife, Kidd and Cruz were the only four people available to help Matt and Gabby out on such short notice.

After adding a few child safety locks to cabinets around the apartment, there wasn't much to worry about besides putting together Louie's bedroom. Matt had decided having painted the room a light gray after moving in, they could hold off on a paint job-they'd just have to throw up some kid friendly pictures and posters. He wasn't quite sure what Louie was into, though. So right now the biggest concern was furniture which they'd managed to catch a break on thanks to Herrmann and his wife. Having just recently moved their youngest out of his toddler bed and into a bottom bunk, Cindy and Herrmann had been quick to offer up the bed for Louie.

But not wanting the room to look too boring, Stella had made it her mission to get a few accessories to brighten up the room and with her cousin owning a kids boutique, she'd been quick to volunteer her decorating services. Kelly would actually be picking her up after dropping off more boxes at his place. From the text he'd gotten a little bit ago from her, Stella had already bought a center rug, curtains, a lamp and some wall decals.

But her favorite find during her little shopping excursion had been a picture of a fire-truck with a ladder that doubled as a growth chart.

* * *

Gabby watched as Herrmann and Matt carried the toddler bed into the bedroom and sat it in the far right corner. "Thank you, Herrmann," Gabby whispered as she approached the older man and wrapped her arms around him, "the bed was something I was really concerned about."

"Ah come on, no need to thank me," Herrmann countered sheepishly as he reciprocated the hug. "I'm just doing what I'd do for any of my kids."

Immediately, the tears filled Gabby's eyes and she silently berated herself for not being able to keep her emotions in check. "Which is why you're the best," Gabby mumbled as she pulled back and wiped at her eyes. She motioned to the bed, "I especially like the side-rails. I know Louie's bed at the group home had them."

Herrmann nodded, a little thrown by Gabby's tears. "Yeah…when we first moved Kenny out of his crib, he was always tossing and turning in his sleep so we bought." He laughed, "Honestly, it is probably the only thing of the kid's that wasn't passed down from his older brothers."

"Coming through!" Cruz announced as he strode into the room with the mattress tucked under his arm like it was nothing. He dropped the mattress onto the bed, making it fit perfectly without much effort. "Now all it needs is a couple of pillows and it'll be the perfect place for me to take my afternoon nap," he quipped.

For the rest of the afternoon, everybody worked in unison as they turned Matt and Gabby's spare bedroom out of a bachelor pad and into the most suitable bedroom for a toddler. They had just finished up and Matt and Gabby were leading their extended family towards the front door when there was a knock.

"Oh my god, they're here!" Panic immediately set in on Gabby's face as she turned to Matt, silently asking him to take the lead until she got herself in check.

"That's our cue," Severide said as he grabbed one last small box and tucked it under his arm. He gave Matt's shoulder a reassuring squeeze before pulling Gabby into a side hug and dropping a kiss on the top of her head, "You got this, Dawson."

Gabby nodded, "Thanks, Sev."

One by one, their firehouse family wished them luck before piling out the apartment door, leaving both Tina and her coworker a little confused.

"Sorry about that," Matt began, pulling the door open farther. "We were just doing some last minute touch-ups…" he cleared his throat, briefly wondering if that was the wrong thing to say. He stepped aside and motioned for them to come in, "Uh… please, come in."

Managing to somehow pull herself together, Gabby took a deep breath and smiled welcomingly at both Tina and the home inspector who was with her. He didn't even bother introducing himself as he started taking in every little detail of their place.

Tina smiled at Matt and Gabby and nodded towards her colleague, "Matt and Gabriela, this is Denny Davis and he'll be inspecting your place today to make sure everything here follows our guidelines for becoming foster parents." With Denny's back to her, Tina took the opportunity to motion for Gabby to take a deep breath. "You've got this," she mouthed before falling back into caseworker mode and following Denny into the kitchen.

"She's right," Matt whispered, dropping a quick kiss on Gabby's lips before taking her hand in his and leading the way into the kitchen.

Matt and Gabby stood back in silence as they watched Denny seemingly scrutinize every nook and cranny of their kitchen. "We got all new appliances when we moved in," Matt chimed in, the silence unnerving him. Wasn't this guy supposed to be asking questions? "All state of the art and energy efficient."

Denny gave a small nod, letting Matt know he'd heard him. The bald, middle-aged man tugged on the cabinets directly beneath the sink and gave a small hum as the child safety lock had kept him from accessing what was inside. Without saying anything else, he straightened up and turned the faucet on before quickly turning it off.

Apparently satisfied with the kitchen, Denny moved to the living room, writing notes as he did so. He motioned towards the coffee table with his pen, "Is that all glass?"

Matt could feel Gabby tense at his side and took the lead. He nodded at Denny, "Yeah… but it can be replaced right away."

Denny nodded, "It'd be a good idea."

Matt nodded, "We'll get a new table tomorrow morning."

Without acknowledging Matt's words, Denny continued on through the living room, every once in a while stopping to jot something down in his notepad before continuing on.

Denny moved from room to room at a steady rate, only stopping to take notes or to better inspect something that caught his eye. It wasn't until he made it to what he assumed would be Louie's room did he really dive into every nook and cranny. He opened the closet, checked the quality of the bed-even shaking the side rails for their sturdiness and checked just about every large piece of furniture in the room.

They were all moving back into the living room when Denny's phone rang. He hummed and apologized before excusing himself to take the call.

"Are you guys on shift tomorrow?" Tina asked when Denny was out of earshot.

Matt shook his head, "We both took the day off as soon as you called us this morning."

Tina smiled, "Good. And again, while I make no promises… keep your phones nearby." She glanced over at Denny to make sure he was still on his phone before turning back to the hopeful couple, "He's still on page one of his notes… I've seen him take up to ten pages of notes in one inspection. Things are looking good." She turned her complete attention to Gabby, "And you, Gabriela! You're going to make yourself sick if you keep it up… trust me, I would know… my caseload has doubled in the past year alone." She shook her head and reached out to squeeze Gabby's hand, "Like I've said time and time again, I can't make any promises but I suggest the both of you try to get a good night's sleep… tomorrow's going to be a busy day!"

Expecting to get a call from Tina first thing in the morning, Gabby was up and ready for the day before the sun had even fully climbed the horizon.

When Matt wandered into the kitchen a little after seven, he wasn't surprised to see Gabby leaning against the island counter, elbows propped up and tapping a pen against the counter. She was completely lost in thought as she stared at a piece of paper in front of her. Running his hand through his hair in an attempt to flatten the bed head he was sure he had going on, Matt cleared his throat and unintentionally startled Gabby from her thoughts.

Straightening up a bit and blinking, Gabby briefly focused her eyes on Matt's before glancing back down at the list in front of her.

"Morning," he greeted as he walked up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist before dropping a kiss on the top of her head. "You're up early," he commented, leaning forward and tucking his chin over her shoulder, getting a quick glance as to what she'd been staring at. He chuckled, leave it to Gabby to be writing out a grocery list during an anxious time like this. "Are we going grocery shopping?"

Gabby huffed as she wrote a few more things down, "Have you seen how empty our refrigerator is? I'm surprised _Denny_ didn't let out some annoying hum of disapproval when he opened it last night." She rolled her eyes, "I think he hated us, Matt!"

"Hey, hey…." Matt gently turned Gabby around in his arms and slid a finger under her chin, tilting her head up so she was looking at him. "He didn't _hate_ us," Matt tried to reason. "He was just doing his job. And yeah...maybe he only had one facial expression but he's got steps he has to follow…" Matt shrugged, "He's on Louie's side just like we are. And you heard what Tina said, usually he's got pages and pages of notes and he barely filled out one page while he was here."

Gabby sighed, "Yeah...I guess you're right."

Matt grinned, not used to hearing those words fall from Gabby's lips in such a relaxed manner, "I'm sorry...what was that? I didn't quite hear you."

Gabby rolled her eyes but couldn't help her smile, "Don't make me say it again, Matt."

"Say what?" He teased. "I didn't quite hear you the first time. Here...maybe it's because your lips are too far away from mine..." In one swift move, he hoisted Gabby up onto the counter and captured her lips with his, cutting off her surprised squeak in the process.

"Babe," Gabby managed as Matt's lips briefly left hers, "we've got a…we've got…" she laughed, her smile growing as Matt once again captured her lips with his own. Unable to resist him any longer, Gabby discarded the pen in her hand, not at all bothered as it missed the counter and landed on the kitchen floor. She slipped her hands up the side of his face, her fingertips dancing with the short strands of his blond hair as she pulled him closer to her and deepened the kiss. Arching her back, she pressed herself against him and tightened her legs around his waist.

The moment was interrupted by Gabby's phone ringing and within in seconds, she was pressing her hands against Matt's chest and pushing him away from her. Hopping down from the counter top, Gabby made a mad dash for her phone that she'd left sitting on the kitchen table. She let out a disappointed sigh when she saw it was just her brother and shook her head in Matt's direction before clearing her throat and answering her phone, "Hey."

"Well good morning to you too, sis," Antonio mused.

Gabby sighed, "Sorry...Matt and I are expecting a call from DCFS today."

"And that's why I was calling...I was looking for some good news."

"Well nothing yet," Gabby lamented.

"Well keep me in the loop, ok?"

Gabby nodded, "We will. Thank you, Antonio…for everything."

"Nah...no need to thank me. I just wanna see you happy, Gabs."

The call didn't come until almost four o'clock in the afternoon but as soon as Gabby put her phone on speaker and answered, Tina wasted no time in giving them the good news she had no doubt they'd been dying all day to hear. "Congratulations, the final approval went through! You two are now officially Louie's foster parents!"

By the time they'd finished tying up some loose ends so they could officially become Louie's foster parents, it was almost seven when Matt and Gabby made it back home _with_ Louie. Dinner had been an adventure as they'd decided to keep it simple and order pizza. But apparently the only thing Louie liked about pizza were the pepperonis.

"And this…" Gabby started as she carried Louie into his new room and sat him down, "this is your new room, Louie." She smiled down at him, taking his hand in hers and showing him around, "What do you think?"

The plush toy giraffe sitting up by the pillows caught Louie's attention and he dropped Gabby's hand before going over and tugging it off the bed. He stared down at the toy with wide eyes before tucking it under his arm and making his way back over to Gabby.

Gabby smiled and lowered herself so she was at Louie's level, "You like the giraffe, huh?" She glanced over her shoulder at Matt who was lingering by the door and motioned for him to join them. She turned her attention back to Louie, "Matt got that for you."

Louie watched with wide eyes as Matt moved farther into the room.

Matt was hesitant as he lowered himself so he was at eye level with both Louie and Gabby. He motioned towards the giraffe tucked under Louie's arm. "Do you like giraffes?"

"My raffe!" Louie exclaimed, turning away from Matt.

Anxiously, Matt sent Gabby a look before turning and trying again with Louie. "You want to see the other toys we got for you? We got more animals, some trucks and blocks." Slowly standing back up, Matt moved across the room and reached for the two blue storage containers that were stacked in the far corner of the room currently working as toy boxes.

At first, Louie stayed glued to Gabby's side as he watched Matt remove the lid from one of the boxes. His eyes lit up as the toy trucks came into view, "Tuck!" he exclaimed before running over and reaching out for the red truck in Matt's hands.

Matt smiled, "You like trucks, huh?"

Things were good for about an hour until the exhaustion caught up with Louie and Gabby had told him it was bedtime. As soon as he was changed into his pajamas, it hit him. "No!" Louie cried as he pulled his hand away from Gabby's and shook his head. "No bed!"

Gabby frowned, "Louie, it's nighttime and this is your bed."

But Louie wasn't having it. He stomped his foot and crossed his arms, "No!"

After sharing a look of concern with Gabby, Matt took a seat on the edge of Louie's bed and motioned for him, "Come here, little man." After thinking about it for a beat, Louie slowly shuffled over to Matt but stopped just out of his reach. "This is your new bed, Louie."

Again, Louie shook his head. "No seep!"

"How about we read a book, huh?" Gabby suggested as she took Louie's hand and led him over to the shelf full of books. Herrmann and Cindy's only daughter, Annabelle, had accumulated quite the book collection since she was a toddler and it had been the seven year old's idea to fill up a box for Louie. "Which one do you want to read?"

After much consideration by the two year old, Louie reached up and grabbed a thin, green book. Smiling, he held it up to Gabby, "Book?"

Gabby took the book and read the title, " _Goodnight, Moon._ That's a great choice!"

Three books and a lullaby from Gabby later, Louie was finally asleep.

Matt watched from the doorway of Louie's room as Gabby carefully tucked Louie in and dropped a kiss on his forehead before turning around and giving him a small smile. Walking over to him, she took his hand and led the way out of the room, leaving Louie's door open just a crack.

Having just started to drift off to sleep, Matt was startled awake by light swimming into the bedroom as the door was pushed open. He sat up and with the light coming in from the hallway, he was able to meet Louie's eyes and the tears were very evident. "Hey, buddy," he whispered, casting a quick glance towards Gabby's sleeping form before pushing back the blankets and slipping out of bed. "What's wrong?" he asked as he approached Louie and lowered himself to the toddler's level.

Louie shook his head, rubbing away his tears with his tiny fists, "No seep bed."

Matt frowned, "You don't want to sleep in your bed?"

Again, Louie shook his head.

Matt sighed, "Come on." He stood up and hoisted Louie up into his arms before carrying him out of the bedroom. "You thirsty? How about some milk, huh? I think there is a Batman cup in the cabinet that Gabby bought just for you."

As soon as Matt entered the kitchen, he started to put Louie down so he could get the toddler some milk but was completely caught by surprise when Louie tightened his hold around Matt's neck and locked his legs around his waist, refusing to leave his arms. He met Louie's wide eyes and was startled by the look of fear he saw. "Ok, ok…" he whispered, "I'll hold you...but it's going to make getting your cup of milk a bit more difficult."

Louie didn't seem at all concerned with what Matt was saying but instead just held his new foster dad's gaze, waiting for him to make the next move. And Matt did. With only one hand to use, Matt managed to grab the Batman sippy cup from the cabinet and fill it with milk but when it came time to actually put the lid on the cup, he was stumped. Sighing, he looked over at Louie, "How about if I sit you on the counter so I can put the lid on your cup, ok? We don't want the milk to spill."

With no real answer from Louie, Matt slowly eased him onto the counter and breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't refuse. He tightened the yellow lid at what had to be some sort of record speed and handed it to Louie.

Grinning, Louie took the sippy cup and immediately started drinking from it. He held up his free hand and Matt smiled, understanding that Louie was asking him to pick him back up. Matt nodded and settled Louie back in his arms, "Ready to go back to bed? I don't think Gabby will mind if you take your sippy cup with you."

As soon as Matt started to turn into Louie's room, the toddler tensed up and started shaking his head. He pulled the sippy cup from his mouth, "No seep! No!"

Matt stopped and sighed, he was slowly coming to the realization that he was not going to be able to convince Louie to sleep in his own bed. He was conflicted, on the one hand, he wanted to set ground rules for Louie but on the other hand, he couldn't imagine how terrified the toddler was with his new surroundings. Between a junkie's paradise that was his previous foster mother's apartment, to the family that he'd been placed with prior to he and Gabby getting custody of him, and now this place… that was three places in one week.

But with tears in Louie's eyes, Matt couldn't bring himself to say no, "Just for tonight?" Changing directions, Matt turned to his left and pushed open the door to his and Gabby's bedroom. He bit back a few choice words when the door shut louder than he'd intended. He was planning on waking Gabby up and informing them of their visitor but he didn't want to scare her.

"Matt?" Gabby whispered, her voice thick with sleep. She cleared her throat and rolled over, propping her head up on her hand so she could see better as soon as her eyes adjusted to the dark.

"Hey…we've got a visitor," Matt whispered, carrying Louie over to their bed.

Gabby pushed herself up into a sitting position and reached over to turn on her bedside lamp. "Hey there," Gabby frowned, noticing the lingering tears in Louie's eyes, "What's wrong?"

Matt sat Louie down on the bed and the two year old immediately threw himself into Gabby's arms. "He snuck in about a half hour ago."

"Oh?" Gabby settled Louie in her lap, wincing as his weight fell into her chest. "I didn't hear him."

"I know… you were pretty out of it." Matt climbed back into bed and pulled the blankets up over the three of them. "I got him a drink of milk…but as soon as I started carrying him back to his room…he started crying." He sighed, "I know we don't want it becoming a habit but maybe just until he's gotten acquainted with this place as his new home?"

Gabby nodded in complete agreement, "I think you're right…" she frowned, as Louie tucked his head into the crook of her neck. "He's practically shaking," she murmured. She smiled, noticing the giraffe tucked under Louie's arm. "Good choice on the stuffed animal…he's definitely gotten attached."

Matt smiled and reached a hand out to rub Louie's back in hopes of helping in Gabby's efforts to calm him down. "He hasn't let it go once, has he?"

"Nope." She shifted a little and looked back down at Louie, "Are you comfy?"

Louie nodded, "Uh-huh. Sing song?"

Gabby smiled, "Again? I already sang it once."

"Sing song!"

Matt chuckled, his eyes twinkling, "He knows talent when he hears it, babe."

"Uh-huh." Gabby took a breath and smiled back down at Louie, "But then you have to go to sleep, ok?"

Louie gave a small nod, "Sing seep!"

Gabby cleared her throat before softly singing the words of what seemed to quickly be become a favorite of the little boy's. She wasn't even halfway through the song before Louie's eyelids started to fall but she continued on knowing it would take him a bit to actually drift off. And it did, he fought it for a while, startling back awake a couple of times before eventually giving in to his exhaustion and drifting off.

Unable to see his eyes, Gabby glanced over at Matt for confirmation, "Is he asleep?"

Matt nodded, "He's completely out. Here…" Seeing the clear discomfort on Gabby's face, Matt carefully took Louie from Gabby's lap and settled him next to her, making sure Louie kept contact with Gabby. "Is that better?"

Gabby gave Matt an appreciative smile, "It is…thank you." She leaned in and kissed Matt, letting her lips linger against his before finally pulling away and waiting for his eyes to open up and meet hers. Her lips curled into a smile as soon as she met his gaze, "Thank you…for everything. I love you so much."

Matt shook his head, "You don't have to thank me, Gabby… I want this just as much as you do. I love you and all I want in life is to have a family with you…" he glanced down at Louie and he couldn't help the tears that blurred his vision as he watched the boy sleep peacefully with his giraffe tucked under his arm. He took a deep breath and pulled his head back up to look at Gabby, "And I know we're a long way from making it official…but right here, right now…this is perfect."

* * *

"Which one do you want, Louie?" Gabby asked as she guided Louie over to the shelf that displayed the different options of bedding sets. She lowered herself so she was at eye level with him and gave him a reassuring smile, "Go ahead and see which one you like." It took a minute, but Louie dropped his hand from Gabby's and took a few steps to his left as he tried to take it all in.

Gabby glanced up and met Matt's eyes, sharing a smile with him before they both turned their attention back to Louie. He stopped in front of a bedding set, glanced down at the giraffe tucked under his arm and looked back up at the pattern that was on display. He grinned and pointed to the giraffe in the safari print of several different animals, "'Raffe!"

Matt laughed, "You really like that giraffe, huh? Safari bed set it is then!" He grabbed the correct size and added it to the cart before turning back to Gabby, "What's next?"

Gabby glanced down at the crumpled list she'd started on this morning while Louie was eating breakfast, "Uh…nightlight and baby monitor."

While just shy of his third birthday, Louie definitely wasn't a baby but after the night they'd had, it had become very apparent to both Matt and Gabby that having a baby monitor would put both of them at ease. And hopefully, the night-light would also put Louie at ease.

"Sounds good," he held his hands out for Louie, "you going in the cart with Gabby or are you going to hold my hand?"

Louie held up both arms, "Up."

Matt was genuinely surprised but didn't second guess himself or Louie's decision as he hoisted Louie up in his arms and settled him on his hip. "Ok…we've got to find you a night-light so it isn't so dark when you're sleeping, ok?"

What was supposed to have been a quick run to the store to pick up a few things, had quickly turned into an entire morning of shopping for Louie. Besides his new safari themed bedding set, the toddler also came away with two new night-lights, new clothes, two new pairs of shoes, and several new toys. After being so good throughout the entire shopping trip, Louie had started acting up towards the end of it, so much so that instead of eating out for lunch, Gabby and Matt had both agreed to pick up lunch to take back home.

Gabby wasn't sure if he was tired or confused, but Louie's behavior had done a complete one eighty and she wasn't exactly sure how to handle it.

After finally getting Louie to fall asleep—in her and Matt's bed, Gabby let the bedroom door open just a crack before heading down the hall and finding Matt sitting on the living room floor with his tool box next to him as he put together Louie's new bright red tricycle. Catching movement out of the corner of his eye, Matt stopped what he was doing and sat down the screwdriver, "Hey…is he finally asleep?"

Gabby nodded and plopped down on the couch in front of Matt, " _Finally."_

The tears in Gabby's eyes caught Matt by surprise and in an instant, he was scrambling up from his spot on the hardwood floor and sitting next to her on the couch. "Babe, what's wrong?"

Gabby shook her head, clearly angry with her tears, "I don't know…I just…" she took a deep breath and willed herself to calm down, "I'm worried I'm going to mess up."

Matt wasn't following, "What do you mean? You're doing great. Louie loves you, baby. I mean, maybe he hasn't said it but the way his eyes light up whenever you're around…it's..." he shook his head in search of the right word, "it's honestly magical."

"I just feel like he's been given the short end of the stick, you know? He's not even three and he's already seen the worst in people. He's been tossed around from place to place, falling through one crack after another…" she pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes, angry with herself for crying. "I just want him to have a chance, Matt."

"And that's exactly what you're doing, Gabby," Matt insisted as he wrapped an arm around Gabby's shoulders and pulled her into his chest. He tucked her head under his chin and sighed, "It's going to take time…you and I both know that. We know he's behind on a few things and we know there are some possible behavioral issues…but I honestly believe it isn't anything that stability and love can't eventually fix." He sighed, "I think you're right about what you said before…maybe with everything that's happened, this really was meant to happen. Louie needs unconditional love and a home that will help him thrive…and we've got so much love to give, you know? I just feel like after the losing the baby, we still had all this love in our hearts and nobody to give it to…" He chuckled, a little embarrassed by his rambling, "I'm not even sure that made sense."

"It made perfect sense," Gabby assured Matt as she snuggled into embrace.

Matt glanced down at Gabby, "Yeah?"

Gabby met his eyes and smiled, "Yeah. And I know it hasn't even been a whole twenty four hours but I can tell Louie is starting to trust you."

Matt was surprised by Gabby's words, "You think so?"

"I _know so_ ," Gabby insisted.

"Thanks," Matt murmured, dropping a kiss on top of Gabby's head. "That means a lot."

Gabby smiled, happy to hear the confidence in Matt's voice return. She'd been worried that Louie would favor her due to their instant connection but the toddler had quickly taken a liking to Matt. "So I was thinking about taking a week of furlough so Louie can adjust to everything." She rolled her eyes sheepishly, "And who am I kidding? So _I_ can adjust to everything."

Matt nodded, "That's not a bad idea…I'll still have my alderman commitments, though."

"Yeah…but those aren't 24 hour shifts."

"True…" Matt glanced around the apartment. "And I know we passed the home inspection but there are a few other things I'd like to do around the place to make it a bit safer."

Gabby moved out of Matt's embrace and looked up at him, grinning. She ran her hand through his hair, "Look at you? Your protective paternal instinct is already kicking in."


	5. The Heart Never Stops

_**Sooo...once again, I suck at updating. But here's an update (clearly). And I should hopefully get the next chapter of HWIK posted tomorrow. As always, your reviews are amazing. I love writing and while it does take me forever to update, I like to think the quality makes it worth it. Maybe? This past month has been a bit up and down personally but that's life, right?**_

 _ **As always, I gotta give a shout out to Em. She's always up for listening (err...reading) my rambling whether it be writing related or not. She helped me a lot with this and she's taken on reading over HWIK for me. Also, gotta say hey to Junko...she's also always up for letting me bounce ideas off of her. I know sometimes I seem to go quiet on twitter but you guys are all amazing...every single one of you. And! AND! I found out some of you are fans of How To Get Away With Murder! Woot!**_

 _ **Ok, one more thing before I leave you guys to your reading...HOLY SHIT! I am LOVING season five! Though we're only a couple episodes in...I'm thinking it might possibly be the best season since the first couple.**_

 _ **Ok, ok...here ya go. Reviews are lovely but I won't beg. ;P**_

Back at One

Chapter Five: The Heart Never Stops

The sound of her alarm pulled Gabby from her deep slumber and she blindly hit the snooze button before rolling onto her back and reaching an arm out to the other side of the bed. Expecting to find Louie curled up in the center of the bed like she had every single morning for the past week, she frowned when her hand fell flat against the cold sheet. She rubbed her eyes in an attempt to push away the sleep before opening them and turning her head to find both Louie and Matt gone.

Today would be Matt and Gabby's first shift back since becoming Louie's foster parents and Gabby was a bit of a wreck. She'd hardly slept due to her thoughts going into overdrive as soon as both Louie and Matt had fallen asleep. It had been a roller coaster of a week for the new family of three and Gabby wasn't so sure she was ready to go back to work. Or if Louie was ready for them to go back to work. Yesterday she and Matt had taken Louie over to the Herrmann household to interact with Cindy and the kids in preparation for today. It had taken some time and a lot of coaxing from the youngest Herrmann, Kenny, but Louie had eventually left his foster parents' sides and had joined rest of the kids on the play set in the backyard. A play set that ironically, Matt had helped Herrmann put together several years ago.

Gabby's alarm started going off again and she groaned as she pushed herself up and this time turned it off. Her quick movements seemed to throw her body for a loop and she grimaced as she began to feel lightheaded. Closing her eyes, she pressed the palms of her hands to her eyes as she waited for the wave to cease. Once it did, she took a deep breath and scooted to the edge of the bed before convincing herself to stand up. Even though she didn't have the best night's sleep, she couldn't understand why her body was rebelling against her. Releasing a heavy sigh, she pulled her ponytail from her hair as she moved towards the master bathroom to take a shower.

After she finished getting herself ready for work, Gabby went in search for her two boys. Hearing Matt's voice coming from Louie's room, she stopped right before the open door and poked her head around the corner. The sight before her made her heart swell with joy. Louie was standing next to Matt in front of his closet with only a pair of gray cargo shorts on and his giraffe tucked under his arm.

"What shirt do you want to wear, buddy?" Matt asked, glancing down at Louie.

Louie popped his thumb in his mouth—something Matt and Gabby hadn't seen him do until last night, and shrugged his shoulders.

"I guess it would help if you could see, huh?" Bending down, Matt hoisted Louie up and settled him on his hip. "How about now? See anything you like?" Reaching his free hand out, Matt started sifting through the t-shirts. "We've got Batman, a green shirt with a giant blue monster truck, I think that's Paw Patrol… I'm not really up on my cartoons but I'm sure you'll change that real quick. Lots of Chicago shirts…" he turned to Louie with a smile, "Heads up, kid… between me, Gabby and your new firehouse family, you're about to learn _all_ about Chicago sports. Hey, maybe I'll take you to a game or two, huh? The Cubs are looking pretty good this year."

Louie smiled and popped his thumb out of his mouth before pointing to the red shirt, "Red!"

Matt grinned like a proud father and gave Louie a little bounce in his arms, "That is red! That's also a Chicago Blackhawks shirt, good choice buddy!" He removed the shirt from hanger and sat Louie back down on the ground before putting the shirt over the toddler's head and slipping one arm in at a time. "Ok, what's next? Socks and shoes?"

Louie ran over to his dresser and pointed up to the top, "Up!"

"You remembered!" Matt followed Louie over to the dresser and again picked him up so Louie could choose. The two year old quickly reached into the drawer and picked out a pair of black and yellow Batman crew socks. "Batman it is. Can you put them on by yourself?"

While Louie's motor skills seemed to be just fine, Matt had noticed that Louie seemed a little behind on simple tasks that other kids his age had long mastered. He had trouble getting his clothes on so Matt and Gabby had decided to start simple… with socks. There were other things that they had both noticed and had discussed but had decided too much too fast wouldn't help Louie at all. One of the things that had greatly concerned Matt was that despite being just two months shy of turning three, Louie had absolutely no interest in learning how to use the big boy potty. But after a reassuring talk from Herrmann, Matt had realized that there was absolutely nothing wrong with waiting a bit before pushing the issue with Louie.

They'd learned real quick with Louie was when he was frustrated or upset, he lashed out. It hadn't gotten to the point where he'd hurt them or himself but it was definitely something both Matt and Gabby were keeping an eye on. At this point, they were giving him some time to adjust to everything. He'd had absolutely no structure or routine so as much of an adjustment it was for them, they knew it was even more of an adjustment for Louie.

With a little help from Matt in getting his toes in his socks, Louie managed to put them on the rest of the way and pulling them up his ankles. "I do it!" Louie exclaimed as he clapped.

"You sure did!" Matt held his hand up and Louie gleefully gave him a high five. "Now we need to find your shoes." Scrambling to his feet, Louie ran out of his room, right by Gabby and down the hall towards the front door. Matt chuckled as he stood up, "Hey! You didn't say anything about a race!" As soon as Matt met Gabby's teary eyes, he couldn't help but blush. "Hey… I didn't hear you get up."

"I could say the same for you and Louie," Gabby quipped as she pushed herself off of the door frame and closed the space between the two of them. "You're amazing," she whispered, cupping his face and standing on her toes to meet his lips.

"Mmm… I could say the same about you." He pulled back and with the pads of his thumbs, he wiped away the few tears that succeeded against Gabby's attempt to keep them at bay and had escaped her brown eyes. "Why are you crying?"

Gabby shook her head and ducked her head in embarrassment, "You're going to think I'm crazy…"

"Try me," Matt insisted, moving his hand down to her chin and tilting her head up so she was looking at him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's _wrong_ ," Gabby assured Matt before letting out a heavy sigh, "It's just… when I was watching the two of you… damn it," she cursed as she stomped her foot in anger as the tears once again surfaced. "The two of you… it's what I had imagined with the baby," she admitted.

Matt smiled, "Well if that makes you crazy, then I'm just as crazy as you."

"You think about it too?"

"Every day," Matt admitted.

"Well why didn't you say anything?"

"Same reason I had to drag it out of you," Matt quipped. He shrugged, "And I didn't want you to think it was keeping me from bonding with Louie because it definitely isn't."

Gabby shook her head, "I wouldn't… I don't think that." She sighed, "They say that when you become a parent, you experience a whole new kind of love… a love that can't be explained or matched and trust me when I say they are right… because there's a part of me, a part of my heart that is alive in a way I never knew possible…"

"But sometimes you wonder if it is the same…" Matt finished for Gabby in a whisper.

"Yeah..." Gabby managed despite the lump in her throat.

"My shoes!" Louie came running back into his bedroom, pulling the couple away from their somber conversation. With a shoe in each hand, he held them up high with pride. "I find!"

"You sure did, buddy!" Matt encouraged before hoisting Louie up off the ground and carrying him over to his bed.

* * *

As soon as Matt killed the engine to his truck, Gabby hopped out of the passenger side and opened the back door. She could see the uneasiness in Louie's eyes as he scrutinized his unfamiliar surroundings and smiled at him in hopes of easing his anxiety. But honestly, at this point, she wasn't sure who was more nervous, him or her. "Come here Mister Man," she said as she reached in and unbuckled him. She lifted him out of his car seat and situated him on her hip before grabbing his bag from the floor of the backseat and shouldering it. "You ready to go have fun with Cindy?"

Louie shook his head and wrapped his arms around her neck. "No!"

Gabby sighed and met Matt's eyes as he walked around the front of his truck to meet them. She turned her attention back to Louie and smiled despite the fear she saw in his eyes, "Remember, what we talked about? You'll see us again in just one sleep."

"One seep," Louie repeated in a whisper.

"That's right," Matt added as he reached out and ran a hand over Louie's head. "Just one sleep and then we'll all be together again."

After kissing his cheek, Gabby lowered Louie to the ground and breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't fight her as his feet made contact with the cement. She held out the straps of his small backpack and one by one helped him get his arms in. "There you go, you've got your backpack and you've got your giraffe! You're all ready to go."

* * *

Catching movement out of the corner of her eye, Kidd looked up from adjusting her watch and grinned as soon as she saw Gabby, "Hey!" She shut her locker and hurried over to Gabby, pulling her friend into a hug, "You're back!" She pulled back and looked her friend up and down, "It's good to see you didn't switch to mom jeans," she joked. "You do look a little tired, though. How's the baby?"

Gabby raised an eyebrow, "Kidd… Louie's almost three."

Kidd nodded, "Exactly… he's still a baby. Until he can make his own meals and do his own laundry… he's still basically a baby."

"Ok…" Gabby continued on towards her locker. Stopping in front of it, she sat her bag next to her feet and turned towards Kidd with a smirk, "I really hope you and Severide are using birth control."

"Absolutely!" Kidd exclaimed, almost appalled that Gabby would even question it. "I can barely do my own laundry… I am not prepared to be scrubbing shit stains out of onesies… that's all you, Dawson."

"Again… Louie's almost three."

Kidd waved off Gabby's words, "Oh just wait… you and Casey will probably end up with seven kids."

"Nah, seven's a little much," Matt interjected as he joined the two in the locker room, heading for his own locker. "I was thinking four," he added, catching the shocked look on Gabby's face and sending her a wink.

"Four, huh?" Gabby repeated, throwing an amused smile in Matt's direction before turning back to her locker.

"Oh Jesus," Stella muttered as she shut her locker door, "what have I started?"

The first couple of hours on shift went painfully slow for Gabby. They hadn't had a single call and while normally she wasn't one to complain about the lack of calls, it gave her too much time to worry about Louie. Despite her best attempts to not stress about him, she'd already called Cindy twice to check in on the little boy.

In an attempt to keep herself busy, she had taken it upon herself to make lunch for the house. After wandering through the kitchen and looking through all the pantries and refrigerator, she finally settled on tacos. It was actually the first meal that Louie had really seemed interested in and as a result, Gabby had been scouring every source for all kinds of recipes that incorporated the ingredients used for tacos.

She'd been thinking about introducing some Dominican food to Louie but with how picky he was, she wasn't sure it would even be worth it. At least not right now.

"Tacos!" Cruz exclaimed as he joined Gabby up by the stove, rubbing his hands together. "Please tell me you didn't forget the guac?"

Gabby smiled and motioned behind her, "Not a chance, Cruz."

"Oh you're the best, Dawson! I would hug you but I'm pretty sure Lieutenant would put me on bathroom duty for a month."

"Only a month?" Matt quipped as he joined the two of them up at the counter. He met Gabby's eyes with a look of amusement, "Tacos, huh? You're not tired of them yet?"

"What do you mean?" Brett asked, smacking away Otis's hand as he attempted to stir the salsa that Gabby had put together, "Don't mess with Dawson's cooking, Otis." She turned her attention back to Matt, Gabby and Cruz, not in the least bit fazed by the looks on their faces. "As I was saying, what do you mean you're not tired of tacos yet?"

Matt chuckled, "Our first night with Louie we kept it simple and had macaroni and cheese… he wouldn't touch it. Our second night with Louie we had chicken nuggets and again… he wouldn't touch it. On our _third_ night with Louie, we had tacos and he absolutely loved them. I've never seen a kid eat so much shredded lettuce in my life!"

Gabby smiled at Matt's enthusiasm before turning back to their coworkers, "And so we've basically had tacos every night for dinner since then. I've just been trying to sneak in a few different foods here and there in hopes of finding a few more things that Louie likes…" she laughed, picturing the first time Louie had scooped up a handful of lettuce and stuffed it in his mouth, "But he's not kidding when he says the kid can put away the lettuce."

"He could also probably put away an entire package of Oreos if we let him," Matt added with a laugh. "We took him out for ice-cream the other night after going to the park and all he wanted to eat were the chunks of Oreos in it."

"Gabriela Dawson!" Chief Boden said over the voices of his men and women, "Boy have I missed your cooking!"

"Hey!" Otis exclaimed in offense, "You said you liked the spaghetti and meatball casserole I made last shift!"

"And I did," Boden insisted with a sharp nod as he moved towards the counter and reached for a tortilla chip and pointed it towards Gabby before taking a bite, "but Dawson's cooking is one of a kind."

Otis gave a reluctant nod, "Yeah, yeah...I guess you got a point."

"Oh, but Otis! You know what I was actually thinking about the other day?" Gabby asked.

Otis shook his head, "What?"

"Your pastila," Gabby answered.

Otis raised a brow in surprise and stood up straight, "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Gabby affirmed. "That coffee shop a couple of blocks down from Molly's has new owners and they've got all of these amazing pastries and they had some pastila…" she shook her head and frowned a bit, "I bought some and it just wasn't the same."

"Oh! Well I can totally make some!"

Gabby smiled, "I would love that. I think Louie would really like them. He's got a bit of a sweet tooth."

"Tacos!" Herrmann yelled as he joined the growing crowd that had followed the scent of Gabby's cooking into the kitchen.

Knowing the bell could go at any second, everybody hurried to fill their plates and find a seat at table, quickly digging in.

As soon as the dirty plates were piled into the sink to be cleaned the bells went off followed by the details of the call being blasted throughout the firehouse.

The afternoon had ended up turning into being the exact opposite of what the morning had entailed for the men and women of Fifty-One. It was one call after another. A small kitchen fire, a false alarm at an elementary school, a fire in an old boarded up house and a four car accident that had taken up rest of the afternoon and gone into early evening.

As everyone besides the Ambulance 61 crew shuffled back into the firehouse and towards the common room where boxes of just delivered pizza had been stacked on the table, Gabby frowned as the aroma seemed to disagree with her stomach.

Stella noticed this and frowned, "You ok, Dawson?"

Gabby gave a nod and rubbed her forehead, "Yeah...just a headache." She motioned towards the bunks, "I'm just going to go lay down for a bit."

"Oh ok...well, I'll try to save you a couple of slices but I make no promises."

Gabby gave a small smile of appreciation before turning and heading towards her bunk. The headache wasn't a complete lie but it also was nowhere near the truth. It wasn't just her head that hurt or the uneasy stomach, her entire body ached. She'd expected a bit of an adjustment period after taking a week off but she wasn't expecting her body to basically rebel against her.

She grimaced as she carefully lowered herself onto her bed and grabbed her phone that she'd left sitting on her side table to charge. Not even bothering to pull back the covers, Gabby curled onto her side so her back was facing the doorway and tucked a hand under her pillow. Her thumb moved across the screen as she entered the four digit pass code and she couldn't help but feel conflicted when she saw she had no text messages from Cindy. On the one hand, it most likely meant that Louie was doing ok but on the other hand, she was anxious for an update to see _how_ he was doing.

Was he actually playing? Had he eaten a good lunch? Was he eating a good dinner? Was he listening to Cindy? Taking a deep breath, she willed herself to relax and convinced herself to wait a bit before calling to check in on him. Sitting her phone right below her pillow, Gabby wrapped her arm around her midsection and let her eyes fall shut.

* * *

After finishing up with his conversation with Chief, Matt joined rest of the house in the common room and it took him no time at all to notice Gabby's absence. "Where's Dawson?" He asked Stella as he grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

Stella shrugged, "Her bunk. Mentioned something about a headache." She glanced around making sure no one else was around to hear before turning back to Matt, "But between you and me Lieutenant, I think it might before more than that."

"What do you mean?" Matt asked, dread settling in the pit of his stomach. "Did she say something to you?"

"She didn't have to...it's kinda obvious. I mean, maybe some of the guys wouldn't pick up on it but it's clear she's going through a bit of separation anxiety."

"Yeah…" Matt nodded, "yeah, maybe." He sighed, "Thanks."

As his feet led him out of the common room and in the direction of the bunks, he couldn't help but let his mind wander. What Stella had said definitely made sense but Matt couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more going on. Gabby was stressing herself about making sure she was being a good mother to Louie and Matt wasn't sure why. She was an amazing mother and he had no doubt in his mind Louie thought the same thing. The little boy was completely captivated by Gabby and rightly so-he'd never seen so much maternal instinct in his life and it just solidified his opinion that she was meant to be a mother.

That didn't mean their first week together had been a smooth one. No, in fact it had been the complete opposite. After Louie's first night with them, they'd tried again to make him sleep in his own bed but had caved when Louie started crying so hard that he'd started struggling to breath. Every night since then they didn't even bother to try to put Louie to sleep in his own bed. And for the time being, Matt completely understood and he was ok with it, but the new sleeping arrangements could not and would not become a permanent thing.

It was also clear to Matt that Louie favored Gabby over him and while he wasn't _jealous_ , he wanted so bad for Louie to know that he could trust him as much as he trusted Gabby. When Gabby had left the two of them by themselves a couple of days ago to go grocery shopping, Louie had pouted for a good half hour before grabbing a few cars and asking Matt to " _Pay wif me."_

Bringing himself back to the present, Matt found himself at the foot of Gabby's bed and just as Stella had said, there Gabby was, curled on her side with her back facing him. Matt glanced over his shoulder to make sure they were alone before he walked around her bed to the side she was facing and took a seat on the edge of it. He frowned, her eyes were closed and her lips were met in a tight grimace. "You OK?" He asked, reaching a hand out and placing it along the curve of her side before moving it to her lower back.

"Yeah," Gabby whispered as she shifted a bit to make more room for Matt, "Just worried about Louie."

Matt nodded, not sure he completely believed her, "Did you call Cindy to see how he was doing?"

"Not since lunch" she whispered, finally opening her eyes to meet Matt's.

"Well why don't you give her a call," Matt suggested as he flipped his wrist to check the time. "It's only a little after seven."

"I don't want to interrupt their dinner." Gabby shifted and rolled onto her back, looking up at Matt. "He's spent every night with us… I'm worried he won't sleep in his own bed. What if he didn't even take a nap and he's just been a complete mess the whole day?"

"Well there's only one way to find out." Pulling his own phone from his pocket, Matt swiped his thumb over the image of the three of them and entered his pass code before finding Cindy's number and hitting dial. Putting it on speakerphone, he lowered the phone so Gabby would be able to hear better.

It took several rings but Cindy answered, "Well that was a new record," Cindy quipped. "So you and Gabby can stop worrying, Louie is fine."

Matt smiled and met Gabby's eyes, he could see the anxiety fading a little, "That's great to hear."

Gabby nodded and sat up a bit, "Did he take a nap?"

"He dozed on and off for about thirty minutes but I think everything is just so new to him."

"Yeah...I figured." Gabby sighed, "Did he at least eat?"

"It was a bit of a trial and error, but yes, he did eat. He really likes tater tots."

"Well who doesn't?" Matt quipped as he reached his free hand out and took a hold of Gabby's hand.

Gabby smiled and squeezed Matt's hand, "Hey Cindy, we just really want to thank you again for doing this on such short notice. Matt and I-"

The bells went off and both Matt and Gabby groaned.

"Sounds like you guys have work to do," Cindy chimed in as soon as the announcement was over. "Be safe, guys."

"Always," Matt said before disconnecting the call as he jumped up from the bed. He slipped his phone back in his pocket and helped Gabby up, "Come on, duty calls." She started to move past him and Matt pulled her back to him, "Hey…" He found her eyes, "I love you."

Gabby smiled, "I love you too." She stood on her toes and pecked his lips before leading the way towards the garage.

* * *

After another call that seemed to have pushed Gabby's limits physically and emotionally, she was completely content in sitting in the back of truck and watching the city lights pass them by as the head back to Fifty One.

"Hey, Dawson?" Herrmann said, his voice breaking through her thoughts.

She turned her head towards him, "Hmm?"

Herrmann held his phone out to Gabby, "It's Cindy. I called her to say goodnight and I guess she'd tried calling you a couple of times."

"She did?" Gabby reached into the pocket she normally kept her phone in and cursed under her breath, "I left my phone on my bunk." She briefly met Matt's eyes as he turned in his seat with a clear look of worry on his face.

"Well I guess Louie won't go to sleep without a sing song."

"Ohh…" Gabby cleared her throat and took Herrmann's out reached phone and put it to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hi Gabby. Somebody refuses to go to sleep without hearing his sing song."

Gabby nodded, "Right… uh, can I talk to him?" There was a bit of shuffling on the other side of the line before she heard Louie hiccup, letting her know he'd been crying. "Louie? Hi honey." She asked softly. "How are you doing, Buddy?"

"Miss you," Louie mumbled quietly.

"I miss you to but you know it's night-night time, right?"

"Sing song," he pleaded.

Gabby glanced around at her fellow firefighters, meeting several sets of concerned looks before clearing her throat and ducking her head, "Duermete mi niño, duermete mi amor, duermete pedazo de mi corazón. Tu mamá te quiere, tu papá también, todos en la casa te queremos bién…"

* * *

"Water go bye-bye!" Louie exclaimed as he pointed to the water as it ran from his feet and funneled down the drain.

Gabby smiled, "That's right, it's going down the drain." She wrapped the towel around him and pulled the hood up over his head, "Come on, let's get jammies on." Slipping her hands beneath his arms, Gabby couldn't help the grunt that fell from her lips as she hoisted him up out of the tub on settled him on her hip. "Oh my goodness, you're getting big, you know that?"

"I big!"

"Yes you are," Gabby agreed as she carried Louie out of the bathroom and across the hall to his room. "What kind of jammies do you want to wear tonight, huh?" She sat him down and lowered herself so she could open the bottom drawer of his dresser where his pajamas were. "Looks like we've got Spiderman, basketball, cars and trucks, dinosaurs-"

"Truck!" Louie exclaimed, reaching for the blue pajama set that was covered in an assortment of cars and trucks.

"Cars and trucks it is, then." She smiled as Louie discarded his towel and attempted to put an arm through one of the pant legs. "You need a diaper first, sweetie."

After getting his pajamas on, Gabby led the way into the living room and grabbed the remote before settling in one corner of the couch. Tucking her feet beneath her, Gabby held her hands out for Louie to join her, "Come on." With his favorite blanket in one hand and his giraffe in the other, Louie climbed up and joined Gabby on the couch. He curled into her lap and rested his head against her knee. Gabby smiled down at Louie and ran her hand soothingly up and down his back. "You want to watch a little bit of television until Matt gets home?"

Louie nodded, "Uh-huh."

When Matt came home a few hours later, he was surprised to see Gabby sitting up on the couch waiting for him. It wasn't until he dropped his bag and joined her in the living room did he see the sound asleep Louie sprawled across Gabby's lap.

"Hey," he whispered, startling Gabby out of whatever thoughts she'd been lost in.

Gabby glanced up at him with tired eyes and smiled, "Hey. You're home." She glanced over his shoulder and caught the time on the clock hanging behind him. "A lot later than what I expected."

Matt nodded and joined Gabby on the couch with a heavy sigh, "Me too." He draped an arm around her shoulders and dipped his head to meet her lips. "Sorry I kept you waiting. I should've called."

"It's fine," Gabby insisted as she tucked her head under his chin and settled it against his shoulder. "Louie's been asleep for the past hour but I've been afraid to move him… I was thinking about trying to put him in his own bed tonight."

"Oh yeah?"

Gabby attempted to fight back a yawn but instead let it take over and nodded her head in response. "Mmhmm…" she briefly closed her eyes, "Cindy said he slept ok last night so I don't know why he's so adamant about sleeping in our bed."

Matt smirked, "It's you, babe. He's gotten attached. From the moment you two met, he's counted on your for protection and safety."

* * *

 _ **Hey! Thanks for reading! Drama next chapter! ;)**_


	6. Out of Sync

_**First things first...I am sooooo sorry for my lack of updates for both this story and HWIK. I have excuses but let's not get into that right now...if you follow me on twitter then you kinda know. Second, I cannot thank you guys enough for all the constant reviews (even when my updates are not constant). Third, I'm upset that Louie was taken away. Fourth, don't cuss at me when asking me to update. I know I've been slacking and it isn't cool for me to leave you all hanging like I did and I sincerely apologize. But please don't be rude. Fifth, I wanna give the BIGGEST shout out to Em (Em_M_J on twitter) for being so supportive and basically being a cheerleader for me and my writing. She helped me out so much with this chapter and she's just amazing! But yeah, go give her a shout out and read her stories because not only is she a great friend but she's also an amazing writer! So...enough rambling, here's the chapter...I almost hit 10,000 words!** _

**Back at One**

 **Chapter Six-Out of Sync**

"Thanks again, Chief," Matt said into his phone as he secured it between his shoulder and ear, freeing up his other hand so he could sift through his keys and find the one for the front door. "I know it's really last minute but I think this will benefit the firehouse as a whole," he continued, lowering his voice as he unlocked the front door and pushed it open.

After a few more words, Matt again thanked the chief before ending the call and returning his phone to his back pocket as he quietly closed the door behind him. He blindly turned the lock before leaning down, loosening his laces on his boots and taking them off. He sat them aside out of the entryway but made a mental note to move them tomorrow morning before leaving. Walking into the kitchen, he wasn't surprised at all to come home to a quiet and dark house, he'd texted Gabby about an hour and half into the meeting letting her know that because of a couple of alderman that refused to compromise, the meeting wouldn't be ending anytime soon.

He stopped just long enough to discard his keys and wallet on the kitchen counter before continuing on down the hall and towards the master bedroom. Running his fingers anxiously through his hair, he couldn't help but worry about Gabby's reaction to the last minute change of plans he'd have to break to her tomorrow morning. This weekend would be the first weekend in a while that they both had Saturday and Sunday free and as soon as Gabby had realized that, she'd planned their entire weekend right down to the hour.

As soon as their shift came to an end on Saturday morning, they would be picking Louie up from her parents' house and then meeting up with Antonio and his kids for brunch. Then they were going to take Louie to the Lincoln Park Zoo and just wander around the city before spending the evening alone on a _date_ while Antonio watched Louie for the night. Come Sunday, they'd planned to take Louie to the aquarium and then maybe depending on Louie's mood and how tired he was, they'd end their evening at Navy Pier.

 _But_ during his drive back home, Susan had called him with news of a last minute invite to a political summit in Springfield. A summit that started tomorrow evening and went through Sunday afternoon. With the possibility to get his name out there with important state politicians _and_ to speak to the different people in charge of funding government entities such as firehouses and other emergency services, he knew it was a great opportunity.

He just wasn't sure how Gabby would react.

Slipping into the master bedroom, Matt was thankful for Louie's basketball nightlight that helped guide him to the bathroom on the other side of the room. After returning from the bathroom, Matt quietly sat his phone down on his nightstand before moving back towards his dresser. Letting his jeans fall, he kicked them off and loosened enough buttons from his shirt before pulling it over his head and discarding it in his hamper. Pulling open the third drawer, he grabbed a pair of sweats and an old Cubs shirt and slipped into them.

He attempted to climb into bed without much movement but ever since they'd started fostering Louie, Gabby had become a light sleeper and was jumping awake as soon as his weight hit the mattress. "What is it, sweetie? It's ok...I'm here…" Gabby mumbled anxiously.

"It's just me," Matt whispered right away, reaching over Louie's sleeping form and resting a hand on Gabby's side in an attempt to ease her worries before Louie woke up. "Sorry," he whispered, "I was trying not to wake you."

Gabby rubbed her eyes in an attempt to wipe away some of the sleep, "It's ok…what time is it?"

"A little after eleven…."

"Did you just get home?"

"Yeah…go back to sleep," he insisted. He leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the lips, "We can talk in the morning."

"Mmkk…love you…." Gabby murmured as she settled back into her pillow. She draped her arm back over Louie's sleeping form and immediately drifted back to sleep.

Matt smiled, "Love you, too." Casting a look down at a sound asleep Louie, he was careful as he laid down onto his side so he was facing the two of them and tucked his hand under his pillow. Closing his eyes, he found comfort in Gabby's soft breathing and Louie's faint snoring as the sounds slowly lulled him to sleep.

It was a little after five before there was any more movement in the bed.

Despite the physical exhaustion and the way every inch of her body was screaming at her with even the smallest of movements, Gabby found herself suddenly awake and unable to fall back to sleep. Deciding she'd just get a head start on the day, she bit back a groan and slowly climbed out of bed. She grabbed her work clothes she'd set out the night before and headed for the shower. Unfortunately, the warm and usually soothing water had done little good in Gabby's attempts to break through the fog she'd felt trapped in since waking up.

Turning off the water, Gabby dropped her head and ran her fingers through her hair, squeezing the excess water from her locks along the way. Bunching the ends together in the palm of her hand, she gave one last squeeze before reaching up and pushing the shower curtain open. She listened carefully as she reached out and grabbed her towel, listening for any movement coming from the adjoining master bedroom.

Stepping out of the shower, she wrapped the towel around her and winced as she secured it over her breasts. It had been a long and tiring week; especially during shift. The past couple of shifts at the firehouse had been filled with calls that had wreaked havoc on both her mind and body. At least a couple of the calls had resulted in fatalities—one of them which included a little boy that had been Louie's age which had completely destroyed her. After returning from the particular call, she'd spent a good hour hiding in Matt's office just crying.

Opening the bathroom door just enough to glance in and see that both Matt and Louie were still sound asleep, she decided to wait for the boys to wake up before drying her hair and instead shut the bathroom door and got dressed.

Deciding she'd surprise the boys and make breakfast, Gabby pulled her wet hair back put it into a bun atop her head and quietly left the boys to continue sleeping and made her way into the kitchen. Unfortunately for her, just opening the refrigerator door had caused her stomach to turn and she instantly shut it before selfishly deciding Louie could just have cereal for breakfast. Deciding on some toast for herself, Gabby grabbed the bag of bread from the counter and pulled out a piece. Yawning, she made a mental note to herself to add bread to the grocery list she had going as she pushed the single piece down into the toaster.

It was a little over an hour later when Matt wandered into the living room with Louie in his arms, both of them still in their pajamas. Louie was the first to notice Gabby sound asleep on the couch and pressed his little hand to his lips, "Shh…Mama seep."

Matt glanced over his shoulder before turning and seeing Gabby in deep sleep on the couch with an open magazine atop her chest. "She sure is," Matt whispered before carrying Louie into the kitchen. "How about some breakfast, huh?" He sat Louie in his chair at the table, "How about some cereal?"

Louie shook his head, "Lellow egg!"

Matt laughed, "Yellow eggs, huh? You know my scrambled eggs aren't as good as Mama's but I'll give it a shot." Ten minutes later, Matt was dumping cheesy scrambled eggs onto Louie's Ninja Turtle plate and finishing it off with a piece of toast lathered in strawberry jam. "Here you go, Big Guy." Matt sat the plate down in front of Louie and ran a hand over the little boy's head. "I'm gonna go check on Mama, Ok?"

Leaving Louie to his breakfast, Matt poured himself a cup of coffee before heading back into the living room. Sitting his cup down on the coffee table, he took note of the barely touched plain toast and almost full cup of coffee in front of him. He reached out, removed the magazine off of Gabby's chest and discarded it on the coffee table.

The movement was enough to startle Gabby awake, "Matt?" she mumbled in slight confusion as she stretched out on the couch.

Matt smiled, "Morning, Sleepyhead." He placed a hand on Gabby's side and moved it up and down, "How long have you been on the couch?"

"I don't know," she answered as she pushed herself up into a sitting position. Grimacing, she reached a hand out braced herself against the armrest of the couch as the room spun.

"Hey, hey…" Matt reached out and settled a hand on Gabby's side, "You ok?"

"Yeah…" Gabby cleared her throat, "I just sat up too fast." She rubbed her eyes before looking around the living room, "Where's Louie?"

"In the kitchen eating breakfast," Matt answered as he watched Gabby with great concern.

"Oh…what time is it?"

"A little after six."

Running her fingers through her damp hair, Gabby tried to navigate her fingers way through her curls. "Oh, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep so I took a shower." She let out a small laugh, "But apparently I fell back asleep."

Matt nodded as he watched Gabby's movements carefully, falling asleep at odd times had seemed to become the norm for her lately. And now she was having dizzy spells? He wasn't quite sure what to think of it and he had no idea how to broach his concerns with her without causing her to become defensive. It had been a little over a week and half since they'd returned to work and maybe not having their bed to themselves was starting to catch up to her? They'd tried once last week to get Louie to sleep in his own bed and it had turned into another disaster so they'd once again decided not to push it. But if it was starting to affect Gabby's ability to sleep then maybe it was time to try it again and stick with it.

"You're staring, babe," Gabby said, poking Matt's stomach and interrupting his thoughts.

"How can I not? You're beautiful." He grinned when Gabby just shook her head in response as she tried to stifle a yawn. "Come on, come join us for breakfast and get some coffee. I made _yellow eggs._ "

Gabby laughed again, "He sure does like his _yellow eggs_. Now if only we could get him eating some _green_ food."

"Baby steps," Matt quipped. "I'm thinking next time I'll attempt to sneak some vegetables in an omelet and call it a yellow pancake."

"You're amazing, you know that?" Gabby mumbled as she cupped Matt's face in her hands and brought his lips to hers. "You're an amazing dad."

"And you're the best mom in the whole world," Matt said against Gabby's lips. "This is all you, Babe."

Shaking her head, Gabby pulled back before pressing her forehead against Matt's, "It's _us._ " She rubbed her nose against his, "And I can't _wait_ until shift ends tomorrow morning and then it's the _whole_ weekend with just _my boys._ " Not missing the look that washed over Matt's face, she pulled back and dropped her arms, "What was that look for?"

Matt sighed and sat up straight, "Something came up last minute."

"Like what?" Gabby asked, crossing her arms, already gearing herself up for an argument.

"An invite to a political summit this weekend in Springfield." He cleared his throat and briefly looked away, unable to fight the daggers that were shooting from Gabby's eyes. "It starts tonight and goes until Sunday afternoon."

"Please tell me you're joking," Gabby begged.

Matt shook his head, "I'm sorry...I know it is last minute-"

"You think?" Gabby interrupted. "This was supposed to be _our_ weekend, Matt!"

"I know, I know," Matt agreed. "But this is an extremely important invite. Susan said if all goes well and I get introduced to the correct people, this could really help with funding for emergency services."

Gabby scoffed, "And because what _Susan says_ , goes, right?"

"Well, she is my political advisor," Matt countered, a little confused.

"Well if she was any good at her job don't you think maybe she would've gotten you an invite sooner? Huh?"

Matt shrugged, he hadn't put much thought into it, honestly. "I don't know. I didn't ask. I was just excited to get invited and I thought you would be too." Matt shook his head, "Have you forgotten that you're the one who convinced me to run for alderman?"

"No," Gabby snapped. "I'm well aware of this fact and I regret it almost every day!" She shook her head, quickly losing steam to argue with him, "I don't know...I guess I just...I didn't think that by you doing this that it would actually come between us. I had the _whole_ weekend planned out, Matt. You, me and Louie."

"I know, I know…and I'm sorry, I really am. I had my heart on spending the entire weekend with my family," Matt urged.

"Well you have a really crappy way of showing it," Gabby grumbled.

Matt sighed, "Hey, I know you're mad at me but I don't want to say good-bye like this, ok?" He cupped her face in his hands and dipped his head down in search of her lips and was a little taken aback when she turned her head causing his lips to brush against her cheek. He sighed and dropped his hands, "Ok…if that's how you want to be…"

"It's not _how I want to be_ , Matt!" Gabby exclaimed. "We made these plans almost a week ago and now all of a sudden Susan gets you an invite to some political meeting and that's that! You didn't even have the respect to ask my opinion! If this is such an important meeting, why the hell did she wait less than twenty four hours to get you invited?" She huffed and pressed her hands against his chest, putting some distance between them, "Did you tell her about our weekend plans?"

"Of course!"

"Well _that_ explains it," Gabby muttered under her breath as she pushed herself up off the couch and out of arm's reach from Matt.

Matt stood up and glared at her, not at all following what she was insinuating, "What the hell does that mean?" He knew she would be mad but he hadn't expected the conversation to go in this direction. "Susan has nothing to do with this."

"She actually has everything to do with this! You tell her that we've got weekend plans and the next thing you know, you're being invited to some _important summit!_ It's not a coincidence, Matt!"

"So you're saying that she planned this just to ruin our weekend plans?"

"Yeah, pretty much!"

"You do realize you sound ridiculous, right?"

Catching movement coming from the kitchen out of the corner of her eye, Gabby turned to see Louie in the doorway. Despite the anger she was feeling towards Matt, her heart lifted at just the sight of Louie and she grinned, "Good morning, sweetie!"

Louie's eyes were wide and his bottom lip out, startled by the volume of their voices.

Matt glanced towards Gabby for guidance and watched as she hurried over to Louie, reaching her arms out for him, "Hey, come here…" she smiled at the little boy as he held his arms out for her. As soon as he was in her arms, he immediately settled into her embrace and held her tight. Gabby briefly closed her eyes in an attempt to keep her tears hidden from both of her boys as she rubbed Louie's back soothingly. In a true motherly fashion, she started to sway back and forth ever so slightly and leaned in to drop a kiss atop Louie's head. "We're sorry, we didn't mean to scare you," she whispered, glancing up and meeting Matt's concerned look.

Taking Gabby's look as a temporary peace offering, he took two long strides and slipped one arm around Gabby's waist and reached over and rubbed the top of Louie's back, "Our voices just got a little loud," Matt attempted to explain.

"No lell," Louie mumbled quietly before reaching up and popping his thumb in his mouth.

Matt and Gabby shared a knowing look, they had talked about it and if possible, they wanted to keep Louie from making a habit out of sucking on his thumb. Matt sighed and returned his attention back to Louie, "I know, Buddy. We shouldn't have been yelling." He carefully reached up and took Louie's thumb out of his mouth, "You still hungry? Or thirsty? How about more juice?"

Louie gave one defiant shake of his head, "No!"

"Ok," Matt nodded, "How about we get you dressed then, huh? And then we can take mama to work?"

The next thirty minutes went by in relative silence as the three of them got ready for the day. Besides Louie's ramblings, the lack of conversation continued during the drive to the firehouse and it wasn't until Matt's truck came to a stop right outside the brick building did they finally speak again.

"Hey," Matt whispered, reaching out and taking Gabby's elbow as she reached down for one of her bags, "Gabby…"

Stopping, Gabby closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning back around and looking at Matt, "I can't be late, Matt."

"You've got twenty minutes before roll call," he countered. "Can we just...try to smooth things over? I don't want things to be like this as we say goodbye. I know you're mad but please," he begged.

Gabby nodded and managed a small smile. She knew Matt was right. No matter how bad things got between them, they had long ago agreed to never let anger and pride get in the way of those moments when they had to say goodbye. She was getting ready to do a shift without him and he was on his way out of town for the whole weekend. "Please keep your badge off the wall," he whispered, pulling her closer towards him as he simultaneously leaned over the console that separated their seats. "You've got two guys in your life that love you and can't live without you." He pressed his lips to hers and couldn't help the butterflies in his stomach as she reciprocated the kiss.

Remembering that they had an audience, Gabby pulled back and glanced at Louie in the backseat and thankfully he was too busy with the trucks in his hands to notice what had been going on. Returning her attention to Matt, she smiled, "Please be safe and come back home to us in one piece," she whispered. She knew full well that a three hour trip to Springfield was nowhere near as dangerous as a twenty four hour shift that could consist of unsure dangers at any moment, but she still needed him to know that he had no choice but to come back home to them.

"Always," Matt whispered, sneaking in one more quick peck on the lips before Louie interrupted them.

"Tuck!" he exclaimed, point towards the fire truck that was parked right outside the station.

Gabby glanced over her shoulder with a smile before turning her attention back to Louie, "That's right, baby." Dropping her bags on the floor in front of her, she turned and leaned into the backseat and kissed the top of Louie's head, "I've got to go to work now, ok? You'll stay with daddy and then Bonnie will be with you for night-night time."

Louie's eyes got wide, not quite understanding why his mama was going bye-bye but his daddy wasn't, "Go bye?"

Gabby smiled, "Yes, I have to go bye-bye but you'll see me tomorrow after one sleep."

"One seep see mama!" Louie repeated with a grin.

After blowing one final kiss in Louie's direction and then in Matt's direction, Gabby grabbed her bags and climbed out of Matt's truck. As soon as her feet landed on the pavement, her head started to spin and she closed her eyes in an attempt to keep her balance. Feeling her stomach turn, she swallowed hard and silently prayed that her breakfast did not come back up.

"Gabby?" Matt called a couple of times before finally getting her attention. With a hand on the release of his seat belt he was about ready to press before Gabby finally looked up. He frowned, the color had drained from her face, "What happened? Are you ok?"

Gabby gave an unsure nod before following up with a small smile, "Yeah...yeah...I just moved too fast."

"That's the second time this morning...are you sure maybe you don't want to just take the shift off?"

"I'm sure," Gabby insisted. "It's just the weather...it's all over the place and it's just messing with my allergies."

* * *

"Hey girl!" Stella greeted as she joined Gabby in the locker room.

"Hey," Gabby lazily threw over her shoulder as she put on her watch.

Stella raised a brow, "Can't you at least put in some effort in faking excitement?"

Gabby sighed and once she finally managed to get her watch feeling right around her wrist, she glanced over at Stella and gave her friend an apologetic smile, "Sorry...it's been a rough morning."

"Oh?" Normally Stella would toss back some sassy remark but by the look on Gabby's face, it was very much obvious that it hadn't been a good morning. "Is everything ok? I heard Chief telling Herrmann he was acting lieutenant today...is everything ok with Casey?"

"Yeah...just some last minute political thing in Springfield." She rolled her eyes, "And I mean _last minute_. Susan didn't tell him about it until late last night so I didn't know about it until this morning."

"Well why was it so last minute?"

"My point exactly!" Gabby exclaimed in exasperation. She huffed and shook her head, "I try not to be the jealous type but there's just something about her that I don't trust." She pushed her locker door shut, slamming it louder than necessary but didn't care one bit.

Stella raised a brow, "Well ok, then...no more talk of Casey and this political _thing_ he will be attending this weekend." She reached up and combed her fingers through her hair, preparing it for a ponytail. "Oh, how's Mister Man?" She saw the look flash across Gabby's face, "Ooh...ok, is Louie off limits too?"

Gabby shook her head, "No, no...he's great, he's _perfect,_ as always." Settling on the bench in front of her, she winced as she pulled her foot up so she could tighten the laces on her boot, "This morning was the first time he saw Matt and I actually argue. You should've seen the look on his face, Stella...we scared him."

"Oh he'll be fine," Stella tried to reassure Gabby. "You guys had a minor disagreement that included slightly elevated voices...it's not like you two were throwing shit at each other." She pursed her lips and nodded her head, "Now take it from someone who knows….that'll scare a kid but yelling…" she shook her head, "nah, he'll be fine."

Gabby sighed, "Yeah, maybe. But I don't know what he's seen and experienced over the past couple of years...I just, I should've known better." She frowned and cast a confused glance at Stella, "Wait, backup, what do you mean, _take it from someone who knows_?" She stood up and watched her friend closely for a reaction, "Is that something you experienced as a kid? I mean...you've never really told me much about your childhood."

Stella shrugged in an attempt to look nonchalant about the direction in which the conversation had taken, "I mean, yeah...my parents basically hated each other so it was always one argument after another...I turned out alright, though. No worries."

"Good Morning, ladies!" Cruz called as he joined them in the locker room.

"Morning, Cruz," Gabby greeted as she stood up and readjusted her shirt around her waist, making sure it was tucked in all the way. Following Stella out of the locker room, she made a mental note to continue the conversation with Stella sometime soon.

* * *

Though Gabby wouldn't dare actually voice it in fear of jinxing it, she was very happy that the first half of shift had been a quiet one. There had been a couple of calls sporadically throughout the day but nothing that had left her emotionally drained. Physically drained, yes, but not emotionally. The first call of the day had been a fender bender and they'd mainly been called as a precaution but the unusually warm weather had left Gabby a little lightheaded at one point. Had she actually been in the middle of doing something, it probably would have been noticeable to someone else but because she'd just been standing off to the side waiting, she shook it off and pushed the incident from her thoughts.

There was a downfall to calls being slow, though...it gave Gabby all the time in the world to get lost in her own thoughts. Not just lost, but turned around, and stuck within the tangled web of thoughts she'd managed to weave together since the day had started. Well, really since her argument with Matt. Even though they'd managed to kind of smooth things over before departing from each other's presence, she was still a little ticked off about the whole thing.

She _knew_ she was not being paranoid and that Susan had most definitely pulled that stunt at the very last second. If it had been an important summit for Matt to attend, then it should've been on Susan's agenda the minute Matt had been elected alderman!

Coming back from the bathroom, she decided against returning to her bunk where she'd just woken up from a nap and decided maybe some food would do her good. Herrmann gave her a nod as she joined him in the kitchen and she returned it with a small smile that turned into a frown as soon as she caught the strong smell of coffee. Thankfully, Herrmann didn't catch it.

But someone else did.

Stella caught the frown on Gabby's face as Herrmann poured himself another cup of coffee. The look on her face was one of complete and absolute disgust which was definitely _not_ the Gabby Dawson she knew. Gabby Dawson lived for her coffee and even though it was well into late evening, it wasn't unlike Gabby to pour herself a cup just to keep her going through shift. She watched as Gabby continued over to the refrigerator, pull it open just enough before letting go and allowing it to shut. The look of disgust on her face deepened as she continued on her search around the kitchen for something to eat or drink.

"Holy shit," Stella mumbled as a thought occurred to her.

"I can see those wheels turning," Severide began as he took a seat next to Stella at the break room table. He followed his girlfriend's gaze to the other side of the room where her eyes were curiously fixed on Dawson, "Hey…" he gently nudged Stella's arm, "Why are you looking at Dawson as if a light bulb suddenly went off in your head?"

"Because a light bulb did just go off...a giant, one hundred watt light bulb," Stella whispered with a hint of excitement as she glanced around and made sure nobody was in hearing distance of their conversation. She turned her attention to Severide and nodded in Gabby's direction, "She's totally pregnant."

Kelly sat up straight, "What? She is? When did she tell you?"

"She didn't."

Kelly shook his head as his shoulders relaxed, "So she's not?"

"Oh, no, I'm pretty sure she is…all the signs are there. I don't know, maybe I'll just ask her. The girl can't lie to me."

"Probably not a good idea," Kelly advised quietly.

"Why not?"

Severide sighed and ran a hand over his recently shaved head as he tried to figure out the best way to explain to Stella the heartbreak that Matt and Gabby had experienced last November, "How much did you and Dawson stay in touch after the academy but before you were transferred here?"

Stella shrugged, "Not a lot…we both kinda just jumped right into our candidacies." She shook her head, not exactly following Severide's train of thought, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"She had a miscarriage last year…" he quietly explained, pausing briefly to let the words sink in before continuing, "They called it an ectopic pregnancy, I think."

"Damn…" Stella whispered, her wide eyes conveying the emotion both the shock and sadness for her friend. "I guess that explains the stint in Arson…I just assumed it was some sort of punishment for her relationship with the Lieutenant. I mean…I wouldn't put it past some of the higher ups to a pull something like that."

Severide chuckled, "Yeah…I could name a few guys that would have no problem doing something like that." His smile faltered and he shook his head, "But no…the pregnancy was _not_ planned at all but they were so excited. I'd never seen Casey so happy and Dawson, I think she was a little unsure at first but damn…what they say about pregnant women having a glow, I'd never really believed it until I saw it on her. It almost destroyed them," he whispered.

"Wow…"

"Yeah…" Severide sighed as he watched Gabby nibble on a saltine cracker and move towards an empty spot on the couch, "So I mean...even if she is...I would just let her figure it out…"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," agreed. She sat up straight, ready to let the conversation end but thought better of it with the look of concern that had settled on Severide's face. "You think I'm right, don't you?"

Severide rolled his eyes, silently berating himself for getting caught. He glanced around them once again before leaning in and clearing his throat, "Casey asked me to keep an eye on her...I guess she had a couple of dizzy spells this morning, he's not really sure."

"Ha!" Stella exclaimed, earning a few questionable looks from people in the break room, one of them coming from subject of their conversation. "Oops," she mumbled, leaning back in towards Severide, "Well if he thinks she is then why the hell did he agree to a three day trip to Springfield? If I were him, I'd be holding the damn stick for her!"

Severide laughed, "I honestly don't think the thought has crossed his mind."

"So we're currently dealing with Mr. and Mrs. Oblivious?" Stella muttered. " _Lovely._ "

* * *

It was almost ten in the evening before another call came through.

And what a call it turned out to be.

Gabby felt the ladder graze the tips of her boots but it wasn't until she felt Kelly grab a hold of her and start to bring her down into his grasp, did she let go of the safety harness. Gasping for air, she gripped the sides of the ladder and dropped her head.

Chief Boden let out a much relieved sigh as his heart slowly ascended its way back to its rightful place. "Talk to me, Severide," he bellowed into his radio, needing to know for sure that the heart and soul of Firehouse Fifty-One was still in one piece.

Atop the aerial, the close friends shared a small smile and Kelly gave Gabby an encouraging smile.

Still trying to even out her breathing, she slowly released her right hand from the ladder and grabbed her radio, "I'll do you one better, Chief."

A roar of applause and cheering erupted below.

Glancing over his shoulder and down below, Severide grinned as he saw not only all of Fifty-One but also complete strangers cheering them on. Returning his attention to Gabby, he reached up and removed her face mask, getting a closer look, "What do you say we head back down so you can greet your fans?"

Gabby started to laugh but as the shock of what just happened start to wear off, her laughter turned to soft cries. "Oh my god," she sobbed, her gloved hand shaking as she covered her mouth in an attempt to silence her cries.

Severide shook his head and placed a comforting hand on top of Gabby's arm, "Hey...it's ok...you're ok."

"Ok, guys!" Herrmann bellowed, "Back to work!" He shared a knowing look with Chief Boden before throwing out orders to both Truck and Squad.

"Dawson," Severide started in an attempt to keep his close friend from completely losing it. They still weren't on solid ground, "Gabby…Gabs, look at me." Gabby finally brought her watery gaze up to meet his eyes. "Hey…can the waterworks wait until you're on solid ground?" He quipped in an attempt to get her to calm down.

Sniffing a couple of times, Gabby wiped her eyes. "I don't even know why I'm crying," she confessed lamely as she pulled herself up on her feet, her hands gripping the sides of the ladder. "It's not like this is the first close call I've ever had."

"We've all had things happen on this job that have scared us...nobody down there is going to judge you for crying, Dawson," Severide reasoned.

Gabby rolled her eyes, "Right, because you guys have all started crying while still out on a call." She huffed, "Let's just go."

Without saying another word, Severide started down the ladder sideways so he could still keep an eye on Dawson during their slow descent. He was going to make sure Brett checked her over as soon as their feet hit the blacktop below. Between what had just happened and also mindful of Matt's concerns, Severide kept a hand on Gabby's back as she climbed down from the truck and planted both feet firmly on the ground.

"I'm fine, I'm fine…" Gabby repeatedly insisted as everyone crowded around her to make sure she was in fact ok.

Meeting Brett's worried gaze from outside the huddle, Chief Boden motioned towards Gabby with a nod of his head.

Nodding along, Brett stood up straight and moved towards Gabby, "OK, coming through, coming through! Let me do my job and make sure she's not hurt!"

Gabby smiled appreciatively as Brett led her over to the back of the ambulance. "Thanks for pulling me out of the crowd back there."

Brett raised a brow, "Seriously, Dawson? I didn't pull you out of the house's huddle around you just to get you all to myself…you need to get looked over."

"I'm fine," Gabby protested.

But the blonde paramedic wasn't having it and she narrowed her eyes at Gabby, the look in her eyes giving Gabby no room to argue. "Either take a seat and let me examine your or I tell Boden you're in no shape to finish out the rest of your shift."

Sighing, Gabby hoisted herself up into the back of the rig and took a seat on the stretcher. "This is ridiculous," she muttered.

Ignoring Gabby's comment, Brett motioned towards Gabby's turnout coat, "Take off your coat." Despite her best attempts not to, Gabby hissed in pain as she removed her turnout coat and Brett gave her a knowing look, "You're fine, huh?"

"It's just my shoulder," Gabby countered lamely. "It was the first thing to hit the building," she explained as she reached over with her other hand and rolled the sleeve of her t-shirt up so Brett could get a good look.

Brett raised a brow, "Yeah...that's gonna leave a nice bruise." She crouched down so she was at eye-level with her onetime roommate, "You sure you don't want to just take the rest of shift off and go home?"

"And do what?" Gabby asked. "Matt's in Springfield and Louie is with Cindy," she shook her head, "There's like, what? Six hours left until shift ends? _I'm fine,_ Brett."

Brett sighed, "I'm not sure who you're trying to convince more…me or you. But either way, I don't think it's working." She stood up and grabbed an ice-pack from the compartment above Gabby's head and handed it to her. "At least put this on it."

"Thanks," Gabby muttered as she reluctantly took the ice-pack from Brett. "And for the record, I _am_ fine."

"Sure you are."

Gabby glared, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I think you're lying but it's two in the morning and I don't really have the energy to call you out on it," Brett shot back without thinking.

"Well it sounds like you did just call me out," Gabby muttered as she stood up from the stretcher. Feeling a wave rush over her, she let go of the ice pack, reached up and grabbed a hold of the overhead bin to steady herself as she attempted to take deep, calming breaths.

"Dawson?" Brett asked, reaching out and grabbing a hold of Gabby's arm, afraid that if she lost her balance, she'd fall forward and right out of the back of the ambulance.

"I'm fine…just got up too fast," Gabby said with as much conviction as she could muster.

"Uh-huh…" Brett muttered as she saw Boden approaching them.

"So what's the verdict?" Boden asked. With his hands on his hips, he watched his former PIC with great concern as she pulled away from his current PIC and climbed out of the back of the ambulance.

Gabby shot Brett one last pleading look before managing a small smile for her chief. "Just some bruising. I'm fine."

Boden turned his attention to Brett, "I'd rather hear it from my PIC. Brett?"

"She's right…just some bruising on her shoulder. Keep an ice pack on it and it'll be fine. If shift had just started, I'd recommend sending her home but since there's only six hour left…"

Boden nodded, giving the two a knowing look, "OK, then…let's get back to the station, then."

Upon returning back to the firehouse, Gabby was the last one to climb out of the truck and took her time in peeling off her turnout gear. Too exhausted to even put her own boots back on, she tucked them under her arm and carried them back into the firehouse with her. Every last inch of her body was fighting each step she took and her muscles seemed to be screaming from pure exhaustion. As she entered the bunk room, she cast a glance to her left where Brett was already sound asleep and when she looked to her right, she was surprised to see Stella sitting up in her own bunk and watching her carefully.

"Stella," she whispered with a shake of her head as she dropped her boots next to her bed. "Please, not now…I'm too exhausted."

"But you're alright?" Stella asked, needing to hear it directly from her friend.

Gabby nodded, "I promise, I'm fine…" she let out a shaky breath as she lowered herself onto her bunk, "A little sore and still a little shaken up...but I'm fine."

"Good…" Stella quipped with a small smile that quickly turned into a yawn. "Damn," she mumbled as soon as she recovered from the big yawn. "Hopefully we can get a few hours of shut-eye…." she raised a brow, "We'll talk more in the morning, Ok? Maybe breakfast or something after shift?" Gabby gave a small nod and Stella grinned, "Great!" She pulled back her blankets and slipped under them, "And for the record, next time, _you're_ going first...no arguments!" Pleased that she'd earned a small laugh in response, she rolled over and settled into her bed.

Gabby barely managed an hour of sleep before it was time to get up and get ready for their end of shift debrief in the conference room.

When Severide walked into the locker room after talking to Chief Boden, he was a little surprised to see Gabby still standing at her locker. Remembering his conversation with Kidd yesterday afternoon, he took in Gabby's demeanor and for the first time pondered whether maybe Kidd was onto something. It would also explain the dizzy spells that Matt had been concerned about.

"You're staring Severide and it is kinda weird," Gabby said, interrupting her friend's thoughts. "And honestly, if it were any other guy, I'd be a little annoyed."

Severide gave Gabby a sheepish smile before continuing onto his locker, "Sorry. I was just thinking about the close call..."

"I figured," Gabby answered with a sigh as she shut her locker door, "I'd honestly rather just forget about it."

"I take it Casey doesn't know?" Severide asked over his shoulder as he opened his own locker.

"Why do you say that?"

Severide smirked, "Because if he did know, he would've ditched Springfield and sped all the way back to Chicago just to see for himself that you're ok."

"Doubt it," Gabby muttered. "He made it pretty clear yesterday morning that the meeting was his top priority."

"Nah…" Severide shook his head, "I don't believe that for a second."

"Sorry, Gabs!" Kidd announced as she joined the two in the locker room, "I might've gotten into a heated debate with Otis about the best first move to make when starting a game of tic-tac-toe…" her voice trailed as soon as she realized she'd interrupted them. "Shit, sorry...kinda looks like I interrupted an important conversation."

Gabby shook her head, thankful for Stella's timing, "You didn't. But uh...do you think maybe I can get a rain check on breakfast? I really just want to pick Louie up and go home. Herrmann said he'd give me a ride."

"Yeah, that's cool...I understand," Stella assured Gabby. "But just so you know, I was gonna offer to pay so you're basically turning down a free breakfast. There's this little mom and pop breakfast place a block from my apartment and their food is amazing! I mean, eggs, chicken and waffles, bacon, pancakes, sausages, hash browns…you name it and they'll make it!" she pointed out in a gentle effort to get her friend to reconsider.

As Gabby shouldered her bag, her hand went to her stomach as it turned and she rubbed it in an effort to hopefully settle it down. She shook her head and frowned, "Food doesn't really sound that good right now."

Severide matched Gabby's frown and he placed a hand on her forearm, "You sure you're ok? I mean, no offense, the color just disappeared from your face. Why don't you let us watch Louie today and maybe go home and just take it easy?"

"No," Gabby shook her head, "I really just need to see him right now. I need to hold him and I need..." her voice trailed, not wanting to admit how bad her argument with Matt had been yesterday morning.

"You need your man," Stella finished for Gabby, giving her friend a tiny smile. "Call him, Gabs," she urged. "I know you guys had a fight but let me break it down for you…you almost _died_ yesterday, honey. He loves you, you love him! Not even that wench, Susan, can get in the middle of the kind of love you two have for each other."

"Hey, Dawson!" Herrmann exclaimed as he rushed into the locker room with his phone to his ear, "We gotta go, the kids have soccer games!"

"I'm coming, Herrmann," Gabby replied before giving the couple in front of her an appreciative smile, "I'll be fine, guys."

Both Severide and Stella waited until Gabby left the locker room before turning and sharing a look, "She's totally pregnant," Stella affirmed.

Scratching the back of his head, Severide sighed, "It's definitely a possibility."

* * *

Standing in front of the mirror in his hotel room, Matt adjusted and readjusted his tie before finally deciding it wasn't going to look any better. It wasn't that he didn't know _how_ to tie a tie, he'd had no choice but to teach himself as a young kid but Gabby just had a way of tying his tie to perfection whenever she did it.

It was definitely something he needed to add to the list to teach Louie when he got older. Nobody knew, not even Gabby, but after they were given custody of Louie, Matt had been a little panicked about how he could even begin to form a father/son relationship with the two year old. _Especially_ since Louie was already two. It was one thing to form an instant connection with your child as soon as the newborn is placed in your arms but it was a completely different journey in bonding with a child who had already seen and experienced so much.

So after thinking it over, Matt had decided one of the things he could do for Louie was to teach him things that his father had never taught him.

Like properly tying a tie.

Or throwing a football.

Or shaving.

Or learning how to change the oil in his car.

The list was endless as far as Matt was concerned. He'd never stop adding to it. Because as a parent, no matter how old your child gets, you never stop teaching and nurturing.

Sighing, Matt gave his tie one last solid adjustment before moving onto his hair. He ran his fingers through his still damp hair and combed it to the side in what Gabby referred to as his ' _Politician Hair'._

His phone started ringing and he nearly tripped over his open suitcase as he hurried over to the nightstand to answer it. His hopes crashed as soon as he saw that it was not Gabby calling. She'd basically ignored him yesterday so he'd been hoping that once her shift ended, she would finally return his calls and texts. "Hey, Severide," Matt answered with another sigh.

"Well don't sound so excited to hear from me," Severide quipped in amusement.

"Sorry, man...I was hoping it was Gabby."

"So you really haven't talked to her since yesterday morning?"

"No...she's still pretty upset with me." He tilted his head, a little confused and now on edge, "Wait? Did something happen?"

Severide sighed, "I mean...she had a pretty close call last night...I really thought she would've called you…"

"Kelly," Matt began as he started to pace the small confines of his hotel room, his heart rate picking up as the dread washed over him, "What happened? Is she ok?"

"She says she's fine but you and I both know how that goes…" He sighed, "Damn, I probably shouldn't even say anything."

"Yes, yes you should, Kelly. What the hell happened?"

"We got a call late last night and Chief ordered us out of the building when Stella and Gabby were still on the top floor sweeping for bodies…." He shook his head, "Stella came down the rope just as the building blew with Gabby still inside." He heard the sharp intake from Matt and hurried to ease his best friend's fears, "Like I said, though, she's fine. She was hanging onto a safety harness out the window but we got the aerial over to her and got her down. She was a little shaken up and has some bruising on her shoulder...but she's fine, I swear."

"Damnit," Matt muttered. "I should've been there on shift with you guys!"

Severide shook his head, "Dude! It wouldn't have changed anything! Like I said, physically she's fine." He cleared his throat, "But I don't know, man...what you mentioned yesterday morning about her being a little off. I didn't see any dizzy spells but I don't know if she's just tired or what...but she's definitely been acting a little off."

"What do you mean?" Having seemingly made up his mind, Matt started to move around his room and gathered his things. "How?"

"You know...just not her normal chatty self. She snuck in a couple of naps yesterday and I don't really think I saw her eat an actual meal and this morning, this morning she was definitely looking a little pale." Severide sighed, "I don't know, she'll kill me if she finds out that I told you any of this."

"She won't," Matt insisted. "Listen, I think I'm just gonna come home. I'm gonna call her. I'll talk to you later. Thanks, man."

After hanging up with Severide, Matt pulled his phone away from his ear just long enough to find Gabby's name in his _recent calls_ list and press it. It rang and rang for what seemed like forever before Gabby finally answered.

"Hey, how's the summit going?" Gabby asked as soon as she answered the phone. She knew why he was calling and though she knew it wouldn't work, she still made a lame attempt to deter the conversation from where Matt was going to take it.

"You should've called me, Gabby," Matt said, not bother to beat around the bush. He knew from past experiences that it got them nowhere.

"I'm fine," she insisted for what seemed like the twentieth time as she cast a look Louie's and making sure he was well entertained with the toys in front of him before heading down the hall to their bedroom. "If I wasn't, then I would have called you. This summit is important to you so I wasn't going to call you and tell you I had a close call during shift...we have them during every shift."

"Not that close," Matt denounced with a huff. "And nothing is _ever_ more important to me than you and Louie. Absolutely _nothing_ , Gabby." Her lack of response was a sign for him to either continue or shut up and he took the former. "Gabby, I don't want us pushing each other away like in the past…"

"I'm not pushing you away," she snapped. Truth be told, though, she knew she was. It was a defense mechanism of hers. One that that was hard for her to keep from rearing its ugly head whenever things got tough.

"Yes, you are and that's why I'm coming home," he insisted, defeated with the way the conversation was going. They needed to talk this out, face to face.

"Honestly, I'd rather you didn't."

Her words were like a punch in the guy and Matt mentally recoiled, stopping in his tracks and letting the shirt he'd been rolling up fall back on his bed. "Gabby…" Matt's voice trailed as he heard the click of his hotel room door being unlocked followed by Susan letting herself in.

"Good Morning," Susan greeted with a grin, "I brought coffee!"

 _Shit_ , Matt thought to himself as he managed an awkward smile for Susan while he took the cup of coffee she was holding out for him. _Horrible timing._ "Uh...thanks."

"Is that Susan?" Gabby asked. "Wait...you didn't even mention there was someone at the door? Does she have a _key_?"

"I uh…" Matt stuttered as he tried to find a reasonable explanation. "I didn't know…" Well, it was the truth.

As if Susan suddenly realized Matt was on the phone, she feigned innocence, "Oh, I'm sorry…is this a bad time?"

"Yeah, it kind of is," Gabby muttered into the phone having heard Susan and not at all buying into her act.

"No, no...it's fine," Matt quickly covered, hoping Susan hadn't heard Gabby's response. "I was just…"

"You were just talking to your girlfriend, yeah, yeah, nothing important," Gabby hissed, completely appalled at how oblivious Matt was at Susan's behavior. Feeling a little weak on her feet, she plopped down on the bed and bit back a sob as her emotions switched gears and her anger turned to hurt. "It's fine," she managed to get out. "Just stay...I'll see you tomorrow."

"Wait, Gabby! Hold on..." his voice trailed as the sound of the call ending echoed in his ear. He sighed in defeat and glanced down at his phone before pocketing it.

Susan titled her head and placed a hand on Matt's arm, looking at him with as much concern as she could pull off, "Everything ok?"

Matt sighed, "Yeah, uh...it was just Louie." In an effort to drop Susan's hand from his arm, he raised the cup of coffee to his lips and took a sip. He swallowed and glanced down at his watch a little surprised by how early it was. "Thanks for the coffee...I thought we were meeting downstairs at eight thirty?" He motioned to the room key still in her hand, "And uh...I didn't realize you had a key?"

"Oh…" Susan shrugged and grinned as she pocketed the key, "It's normal for the front desk to give out two keys for each room. When I checked the both of us in, I handed you your key and just dropped the other one in my purse. Didn't really think much about it until I was getting coffee downstairs and remembered I had it." She pursed her lips and raised her brow, "Is it is a problem that I have your other room key?"

Matt shook his head, "No, no…it's fine. I was just wondering."

Susan nodded, "Well ok, then! How about we head back downstairs and start mingling?"

* * *

After spending the entire day with a fake smile on his face while rubbing elbows with some of the state's most prominent lawmakers, Matt finally managed to shed Susan from his side and found a seat at the hotel bar. He was emotionally spent but he knew with the company that he was currently around, drowning himself in alcohol would not be the brightest move. Although, clearly he wasn't good at making any good moves as of late. Gabby could attest for that.

He'd tried numerous times throughout the day to call Gabby but each time it just kept ringing until finally going to her voicemail. The only bright news from the day had come in the form of a text from Severide letting him know that he and Stella had convinced Gabby to at least have dinner with them. After much begging from Stella, Gabby had caved and she and Louie had met up with them at their favorite pizzeria. _But_ , Severide also mentioned that Louie had put away more pizza than Gabby.

He just couldn't shake the feeling that something else was going on with Gabby. She wasn't eating, she was having dizzy spells _and_ she was taking naps at the oddest times during the day.

"Oh…." Matt muttered as the thought hit him like a ton of bricks. "Oh wow." Sitting up straight, he fished his phone out of his jacket pocket with the intention on trying to call Gabby again. That was until he saw the time. It was a little after eleven and even if Gabby was awake, Louie was probably sound asleep in bed next to her and he did not want to wake the toddler up by calling.

Glancing around, he slid out of the stool and grabbed his wallet from his back pocket, leafing through the bills, he took out enough cash for a decent tip and tossed it on the bar top. He returned his wallet to his pocket and managed to weave his way through the heavy crowd of the hotel bar and towards the elevator in the lobby.


	7. Cautiously Happy

_Once again, I suck at updating within a reasonable time frame. You guys with your reviews are amazing as always! This first scene is the dinner with Louie, Gabby and Stellaride that I mentioned at the end of the last chapter. I hadn't meant to write it but Jewel left me such a long and lovely review (which I forgot to respond to-sorry!) and mentioned she'd like to see it so I went back and added it. I hope I did the scene justice for you, Jewel! As always, thanks to Em who lets me ramble endlessly about Dawsey, my stories and my life. Also, I sent this chapter to her and she had it edited in ten minutes! She's amazing! And Junko for always trying to inspire me to write! I love you all!_

 _Also, I just realized this story hit over 100 reviews and that is freaking amazing!_

 _Enjoy!_

 ** _Back at One_**

 ** _Chapter Seven: Cautiously Happy_**

Back at One

Chapter Seven: Cautiously Happy

"Up, pwease!" Louie begged as he bounced on the balls of his feet and held one hand up while the other kept his giraffe tucked safely under his arm. "Up, up!"

After locking her car, Gabby tossed her keys in her purse that now doubled as Louie's diaper bag and sighed as she looked down at Louie. He was hard to say no to, especially with those big brown eyes pleading up at her. "How about you walk like a big boy, huh? You hold my hand and we'll go into the pizza shop together?"

"No! Up!"

No. That's all she'd heard all day from the toddler. No to breakfast. No to watching a movie. No to going to the park. No to lunch. No to taking a nap. No to picking up his toys. Just no.

Too exhausted to fight with him, Gabby caved and hoisted the toddler up into her arms, wincing as she did so. She propped him up on her hip, before reaching over his head and pulling his hood up just as a strong gust of wind came at them. Though they were halfway through May, the weather was an unpredictable monster at times. Yesterday they had almost hit seventy degrees and today they were hovering just above forty. She'd only caught bits and pieces of the weather report this morning but she'd heard enough to know that there was a storm headed their direction and she just hoped that they made it back home in time before it hit.

Louie wasn't a big fan of storms and Gabby selfishly wanted him to sleep tonight so she could actually sleep. As of late, it seemed like no matter how much sleep she got, she was still waking up exhausted.

Walking around to the front of the building and to the entrance of the pizzeria, she caught sight of Stella and Kelly already there and settled in a booth next to the window. She smiled at them and turned Louie's attention towards the couple, "Look who it is, Buddy! You remember Stella and Kelly, right?"

Louie followed the direction of his mother's outreached arm but showed little reaction and instead turned back to his mother. "No Dada?"

Gabby sighed as she reached for the door, "He's still working, baby. He'll be back in one more sleep."

"One seep," Louie repeated, momentarily satisfied with the explanation.

"That's right," Gabby assured Louie as they entered the tiny, hole in the wall pizzeria.

"Hey, guys!" Stella greeted as she stood up and held her arms out for Louie as the mother and son approached, "Hey, Mister Man! I've missed you!" When Louie turned away and rested his head on Gabby's shoulder, she put her hands up, "Ooh, not in the mood for Aunt Stella? That's cool, that's cool. Sometimes I'm not in the mood to deal with me either," she joked.

Gabby shot Stella an apologetic look, "I'm sorry. He's been in a mood all day." She turned her attention back to Louie as he continued to shy away from Kelly and Stella and slightly bounced him in her arms, "Louie, Stella was just trying to say hi. Can't you say hi?"

Louie lifted his head up enough just to turn and face everyone before settling it back on his mother's shoulder, "Hi," he mumbled.

Gabby lowered Louie to the booth and guided him towards the window so she could slide in next to him and keep him from climbing out. "You ready for some pizza?"

"No," Louie said with a sharp shake of his head as he plopped down in the booth, pulled his giraffe close and popped his thumb in his mouth.

Gabby sighed as she sent another apologetic look across the table and in Kelly and Stella's direction, "I'm sorry… it's seems to be his favorite word today. I think me coming home from shift without Matt kind of threw him off of his routine."

"How about we go play some games while we wait for our food, huh?" Kelly asked Louie as he stood up and pointed towards the small arcade in the corner of the pizzeria. "I think there is a race car over there!"

"Race car?" Louie repeated, suddenly intrigued.

"I think so! How about we go check it out?"

Louie pulled himself up on his knees and scooted over to his mother, his big brown eyes wide and curious, "I pay?"

Gabby smiled, "For a little bit. And then it's pizza time, okay?"

"Otay," he mumbled.

"Come on big guy," Kelly said as he reached across Gabby to pick Louie up. He lifted him up over Gabby's lap and sat him down on the ground before taking his hand in his.

"How ya feeling?" Stella asked as she watched Gabby's eyes follow Louie and Kelly over to the games. "Because no offense, girl, you're lookin' a little worse for wear."

Gabby released a heavy sigh as her mind wandered back to her conversation with Matt earlier in the day. "Matt and I had a fight this morning," she admitted as she tore her gaze away from Louie and Kelly and finally met Stella's concerned stare. "I guess Kelly called and told him what had happened… I'm not mad," she hurried to add when Stella opened her mouth to say something. "I really should've called and told him myself but I would just really prefer to forget about it." She huffed and crossed her arms, "But it doesn't matter… our conversation didn't last long. We were interrupted."

Stella raised her brows, "By who?"

"Susan," Gabby answered with absolute disgust. "You know that woman had a key to Matt's room?"

"I'm sorry, what now?" Stella said with disbelief as her posture straightened out in surprise, "This woman had a key to your man's hotel room?"

Gabby threw her hands up, "Exactly!"

"Okay…" Stella shook her head, "that's shady as hell. The bitch is up to no good."

"Well try telling that to Matt," Gabby grumbled before letting out another heavy sigh. "I know I don't have a reason to be upset with anything related to his alderman duties because I encouraged him to run but…" she shook her head, "I don't trust Susan. There's just something about the way she conducts herself in front of Matt that rubs me the wrong way. I just feel like I'm going about it the wrong way, though."

"Well is there really a right way to go about it when she's pocketing a key to his hotel room?" Stella countered, still stuck on the specific piece of information. She took another sip of her beer as she thought carefully about her next words. "Just remember this, Gabby, if Susan is being a shady bitch… which, clearly, she is… don't ever lose trust in Casey, ok? He's only got eyes for you, Boo."

Gabby managed a small smile and followed it up with a tiny nod, "I know."

"He's just a guy and guys are a little dense sometimes," Stella added before taking another sip of her beer.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt," Kelly said as he returned to the table with Louie in his arms, "but Little Man has a surprise for you in his diaper," he joked.

"I poo," Louie whispered to his mother.

"Well we better get a clean diaper on you, hadn't we?" Turning towards her bag, she grabbed a clean diaper and the travel pack of wipes before climbing out of the booth and reaching for Louie. "Let's go, maybe when we get back our food will be here."

Stella watched as Gabby carried Louie towards the restrooms before turning her attention to Kelly, "You gotta talk to Casey again." She rested her chin on Kelly's shoulder, "I know you said that maybe we should mind our own business but seriously, ya gotta put a bug in his ear or something."

"I know, I know," Kelly admitted reluctantly. Though it had been hard at times when he was actually living with them, Kelly tried to stay out of any sort of conversation that had to do with Matt and Gabby's relationship. Yeah, he let Casey rant about things here and there, but anything more than that and he was staying out of it. "I'll call him tonight and let him know that we had dinner with them. Maybe mention how she looked this morning and let him know that she's basically not eating." He sighed, "Knowing Gabs, she's probably been ignoring him all day."

* * *

The sun was barely above the horizon when Matt entered the city limits of Chicago. The streets were empty and quiet-the occasional splash his tires created every time they ran over a puddle kept him from getting too lost in his thoughts. Pulling into the parking lot of a twenty four hour drugstore, Matt killed the engine and jumped out of his truck, pleased the rain had finally come to a stop.

He pulled open the door to the drugstore and gave a nod to the clerk behind the counter before stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket and looking up at the signs hanging above the aisles for some sort of direction. The anxiety continued to run through him as he stopped in front of the selection of pregnancy tests and took in the overwhelming amount of options. How did women do this? He couldn't help but wonder if what he was feeling was anything remotely similar to what Gabby had felt last year when the possibility of a pregnancy had crossed her mind. Sighing, he grabbed one and turned it over to scan over the box before reaching out and grabbing a couple more. Just in case.

On his way to pay for them, a display of toy firetrucks on an endcap caught his eye and without even thinking about it, he was making a detour. When he got up to the register, he smiled at the cashier and emptied the contents of his hands onto the counter. "Good morning," he greeted politely.

"Morning," the young cashier greeted as he glanced down at the items. He held up one of the pregnancy tests in one hand and the toy firetruck in the other hand and looked up at Matt in confusion, "Dude, you don't even know if your girl is pregnant and you're buying a toy for a boy?"

Matt's jaw clenched and grabbed the truck from the teen's hand and sat it back down on the counter, "The toy is actually for my son. But heads up, you might want to reconsider your sexist opinions… my girlfriend is actually a firefighter."

"Oh… my bad," the guy mumbled as he silently went about ringing up the items.

As soon as the receipt was in the bag, Matt grabbed it from the counter and forced himself to give the kid a courteous nod, "Have a good day."

Pushing open the door with purpose, Matt stepped down from the small step and walked towards his truck. He checked the time on his watch in hopes of time magically speeding up to a reasonable hour but already knew otherwise. He sighed as he internally debated what to do. It was a little after five in the morning and he had no doubt both Gabby and Louie were probably still sound asleep. Pulling out of the parking lot and continuing on towards home, his eyes landed on one of Gabby's favorite shops. The owner, Mr. Vega, was always in before the sun was up so Matt knew the place was open. With a thought suddenly occurring to him, Matt turned into the tiny parking lot behind the shop in hopes of possibly picking up something for Gabby that would just maybe get him a little closer to getting back in her good graces.

"Lieutenant Casey!" The shop owner greeted Matt excitedly as he sat a box down on the counter and hurried around the checkout counter to shake his loyal customer's hand. "This is very, very early for you!"

Matt shook Mr. Vega's hand and gave him a tired smile in return. "It is very early. I'm just getting home from a meeting out of town and thought I'd surprise Gabby with those cakes that she likes. Uh…" He settled one hand on his hip and reached up to scratch the back of his head as he gave the shop owner a sheepish smile, "I can never remember what they're called."

Mr. Vega laughed, "Oh, Lieutenant Casey! Gabriela was just in here yesterday for some pan de batata but we were all out! Lucky for you! Elena made more! Lots more!"

Despite Gabby's best attempts to convince people otherwise, Mr. Vega's Dominican café/food mart had been one of the deciding factors when the two of them were searching for a home. It was about a ten minute walk from their apartment and they'd frequented the place on such a regular basis—especially Gabby—that the owners, Saul and Elena Vega, probably knew Gabby's favorite products by heart.

Matt grinned, "I guess today's my lucky day then, huh?" He pulled his wallet from his pocket, "Can I have two loaves?" He caught sight of the fresh flower bouquets and motioned to the one with the most color and assortment of flowers, "And that bouquet, the farthest one on the right?"

Mr. Vega raised a brow, "Uh oh… is someone in trouble with the Senorita?"

"Maybe just a little," Matt admitted with a small shrug. "But here's hoping that her favorite Dominican food, a bouquet of flowers and my surprise early return home will make up for it."

Finally making it home, Matt pulled his truck up next to Gabby's car and turned his truck off. He took a couple of moments to just breathe and pull together all of his thoughts. He'd spent the entire drive back home just thinking.

Was he just reaching or was it a real possibility that Gabby was pregnant? Wouldn't she know, though? His own thoughts continued to play devil's advocate and it was just leaving him at a complete loss of how to even bring it up to Gabby. He couldn't just hand her the pregnancy test and tell her to take it.

There was history. There were emotions still tying them to her previous pregnancy. At this point, it was almost like a positive pregnancy test meant nothing besides false hope.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he propped his left elbow up against the part of his door that met his window and attempted to rub the exhaustion from his eyes. It was no use, though. He reached down and grabbed the cup of coffee in the console next to him and finished it off with one final gulp. "Come on," he mumbled in encouragement to himself, "You've got this." He couldn't help but chuckle as he listened to himself; he sounded like a teenager getting ready for a first date. Catching sight of the bouquet of flowers in the seat next to him, he laughed again.

When Matt finally made it into the house, he was a little startled to see dirty dishes sitting in the kitchen sink, an empty pizza box sitting on the kitchen counter and a bag of groceries still sitting on the kitchen table. Not that he had expected to come home to spotless house but Gabby absolutely hated leaving the kitchen a mess. The living room? Sure. But the kitchen? Never. For as long as he'd known Gabby, she always cleaned up the kitchen. It didn't matter if it was after breakfast and they were cutting it close on time or if they'd had a late dinner and they were more than ready for bed. The kitchen had to be kept clean.

Sitting everything but the flowers down on the table, Matt carried the bouquet over to the kitchen sink. Reaching up to the shelf above the sink, he grabbed Gabby's favorite vase and put some water in it before settling the flowers down in it. He cringed as the plastic from the bouquet rustled from movement and silently hoped that the noise didn't startle Gabby. Glancing down at the pile of dishes in the sink, he knew moving them around would probably make enough noise to cause Gabby to storm into the kitchen with a baseball bat so he made a mental note to do them later.

After tidying up a bit more, Matt glanced down at his watch for what seemed like the millionth time before making his way towards the master bedroom. With Louie still refusing to sleep in his own bed, he had no doubt the little boy was probably curled up next to Gabby sound asleep. As he got closer, he was surprised to see the door half open and was even more surprised to see the bed empty and still made. His stomach dropped a little but before fear set in, he moved across the hall and quietly opened Louie's bedroom door. The sight in front of him caught him in a moment.

In the far right corner of the room, both Gabby and Louie were sound asleep in the toddler's tiny bed. Gabby was laying on her back with one arm sprawled out above Louie's head across the pillow and her other hand was resting over her stomach.

Did she know?

Matt quickly shook the question from his thoughts and even found himself feeling guilty for thinking such a thing. There was no way she would've just let him leave town without telling him. And with everything they'd already been through with her first pregnancy… nope, no way. She would've told him.

Peeling his eyes away from Gabby's form, he had to hold back a laugh at Louie. The toddler was sound asleep on his stomach, facing Gabby, with his bottom pointing up in the air. The kid was an animated sleeper, that's for sure. But maybe this was progress. Louie was actually sleeping in his own bed. Now if they could just get him to sleep in his own bed alone, they'd be set. Sighing, Matt took a step back and quietly closed the bedroom door before making his way back to the master bedroom and finally ridding himself of his suit.

He'd just finished pulling his t-shirt over his head when he heard a door slam shut across the hall and he hurried out of the room to see what had happened. Louie's bedroom door was slightly ajar and the door to the bathroom next to his room was shut.

With her head cast down, Gabby didn't see Matt and ran right into his chest. Letting out a small scream, she jumped backwards and snapped her head up. The fear faded a bit at the realization that a stranger had not broken into their house. "Jesus, Matt! Don't do that!" Gabby exclaimed, one hand over her chest and the other one across her stomach as she glared at him. "You scared the hell out of me!"

Not even phased by the look of anger Gabby was giving him, he took in her appearance and frowned with concern. Her hair was pulled up in a mess on the top of her head and her eyes were bloodshot, either from crying or the lack of sleep—or maybe it was both. So many thoughts were going through his head and he was having a hard time forming a complete sentence that expressed everything he wanted to say so he finally just blurted out two words that would hopefully start his ascend out of the hole he'd dug for himself, "I'm sorry."

Gabby shook her head, she couldn't do this right now. She had no fight in her at the moment. "Why are you even home? I thought you and Susan were driving back this afternoon?"

"Change of plans," Matt answered in haste with a quick shake of his head. Right now he was more concerned about Gabby. The creases on his forehead deepened and his frown grew while he watched her close her eyes and stumble a bit. "Hey, hey..." He reached out and grabbed her waist, steadying her. He waited until she opened her eyes and met his, "Are you ok?"

Gabby gave a feeble nod, "Yeah, yeah…" but her words fell as she felt the bile rising in her throat. Pushing away Matt's hands, she mumbled something incoherent before turning around and hunching forward in the general direction of the toilet as everything came back up. Grasping the sides of the toilet seat, she eased herself to the cold, tiled floor and continued to lurch forward as the angry waves continued.

Panicking, Matt went with his instincts and dropped to the floor next to Gabby, pushing back the curls that had escaped the hold of her loose ponytail. She gave one weak shrug in an attempt to pull away from him but he wasn't having it and placed his other hand on her lower back and started moving it in a circular pattern.

Her forearms kept her upright against the toilet as the last bit of contents from her stomach came up. She started to dry heave as her body continued to rebel against her, not yet getting the hint. Finally, her body began to relax and she slowly pushed herself away from the toilet and scooted back until she was leaning up against the side of the bathtub. Gasping for air, she threw her head back and closed her eyes, the cool surface of the bathtub felt amazing against the back of her neck.

Grabbing a washcloth, Matt ran it under cold water and took a seat next to her, "Here, this might help."

Opening her eyes, Gabby took the washcloth from Matt's outreached hand and moved it over her face, wiped it over the front of her neck before finally caressing the top of her chest, "Thanks."

With an acknowledging nod, Matt draped an arm over the side of the bathtub and was a little taken aback when Gabby inched just a little bit closer to him. He sighed as he pulled her even closer to him and dropped a kiss on her forehead-using the opportunity to check for a fever.

She didn't have one.

"Matt," Gabby whined as she pushed him away, "I'm sick!"

Matt raised a brow and glanced down at her, now was as good of a time as any, "But are you contagious?"

Gabby looked at Matt like he was crazy, "I'm throwing up, of course I'm contagious! And I'm warm and it's all stuffy in here! I probably have a fever! Why else would I be throwing up oh…" her eyes widened as the realization washed over her like another bout of nausea. Those wide eyes quickly filled with tears and she met Matt's gaze, "I didn't even… I didn't even consider it," she whispered.

Matt waited in silence as Gabby continued to let the possibility sink in. He knew she was playing over the past couple of weeks in her head, connecting the dots and adding up the the various symptoms she'd had. A sob fell from her lips and that was enough for Matt to jump back in, "Baby…" he soothed, immediately regretting his choice of word as Gabby let out another sob. "Gabby," he said as he reached out and placed a finger underneath her chin and tilted it up just enough so she was meeting his gaze. "Talk to me, please."

She briefly closed her eyes, "I don't… I haven't…" she cleared her throat, "I haven't been regular since before…"

Matt nodded his understanding and pushed it just a bit farther, "So it's a possibility?"

"It's yeah… it's possible…" she breathed as the tears started to fall.

"Hey, don't cry," Matt whispered, his thumbs brushing across her cheeks and stopping the escaped tears in their tracks. The mixed emotions hid the look of confidence that Gabby usually carried in her gaze and instead the fear and pain made its way to the forefront. While maybe time had made the pain more bearable, Matt wasn't sure it completely healed wounds. The look in Gabby's eyes was the exact same look he'd seen right before he'd told her the baby hadn't made it. Fear. "Gabby… this is good, right?"

Gabby was quick to nod, "Yeah… yeah… I just, if I'm… I want to set up an appointment right away to make sure everything is ok. I don't want a stupid, plastic stick giving me false hope again."

Matt's brows jumped in confusion, "So you don't want to take a home test? You want to wait until we can get in with your doctor?"

"I don't think I can wait that long," Gabby answered with a heavy sigh. "But what if it's a false positive or a false negative?"

"Well, I bought three just in case," Matt countered almost instantly. "I wasn't sure which brand was best so I decided options were good."

Gabby leaned in and kissed him before cringing and pulling back, "I'm sorry, I probably have puke breath."

Matt chuckled, "I wasn't gonna say anything." Standing up, he held a hand out for her, "Come on, let's take this to our bathroom where we're less likely to wake Louie up."

Nodding, Gabby took Matt's hand and allowed him to help her up off the floor and lead her across the hall. While Matt disappeared to go retrieve the tests from the kitchen, Gabby took the opportunity to brush her teeth, finishing just as he returned with the tests in hand.

She met his gaze through the mirror and gave him a nervous smile before turning around taking the small box he was holding out to her.

Unable to watch Gabby's shaking hands struggle with the opening the box any longer, Matt reached out and wrapped his hands over Gabby's, "Here," he whispered before taking the box from her and opening it up. Handing the now open box back to her, he dipped down, found her lips and gave her a quick reassuring kiss before gently nudging her towards the toilet.

"The rest is all you," he joked in hopes of calming her down at least a little bit. "You want me to wait in the bedroom?" Matt asked as Gabby sat the small box down on the edge of the sink and moved her hands to the waistline of her panties.

"It's not the first time you've seen me pee, Babe."

"I know, I know… I just… last time you had to do this alone and..." he shrugged as his words failed him. Unsure of what to do, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and took up interest in the different hair products that were scattered across the countertop.

Gabby caught the look of regret in Matt's gaze, "Baby, just because you move to the bedroom while I take the test doesn't mean I'll be alone."

Matt nodded, "I'm going to go check on Louie real quick… but I'll be back before it's time to check the test."

"I know you will." Gabby gave Matt a reassuring nod as he cast one last glance her way before leaving the bathroom. Despite how tense everything seemed to be, she couldn't help as a small laugh fell from her lips. Matt was cute when he was timid and unsure of what to do. Taking a deep breath, she grabbed the test from the counter and began.

By the time Gabby had finished up, washed her hands and sat down on the edge of their bed, Matt was joining her and enough time had passed to go look at the results.

"I can't," Gabby said as she shook her head and stopped at the doorway of the bathroom. "You look at it."

Eager to see the results, Matt didn't have to be told twice as he rushed over to the sink carefully picked up the stick.

"What does it say?" Gabby asked, a hint of impatience in her voice.

"Pregnant," Matt answered, walking back over to Gabby, "It says you're pregnant."

"I'm pregnant?" Gabby echoed, reaching up and tearing the test from Matt's hand, needing to see it with her own two eyes. As soon as her eyes met that single word, her resolve crumbled and her free hand flew to her mouth in an attempt to muffle her sobs.

She cried. She cried for their lost baby, she cried for this new baby but most of all, she cried for the fear of what might happen next.

* * *

"Dada home!" Louie squealed with delight as he jumped up and down and reached his hands up for his dad to pick him up.

Matt laughed, "Yes, I am!" He gladly hoisted the toddler up into his arms with ease and kissed the side of his head, "I missed you, Big Guy."

"Miss you!" Louie said as wrapped his little arms tightly around his father's neck.

"What do you say we get you dressed and then go make breakfast, huh?"

"Cakes?" Louie asked hopefully.

"Yes, we can have pancakes," Matt answered as he carried Louie over to the changing table. He went to reach for a diaper when he saw the stack of pull-ups next to them. "Hey, Louie, what do you think about wearing a pull-up today instead of a diaper? Remember the pull-ups have dinosaurs on them," Matt added as he held one up for the toddler to see.

"Dino?" Louie asked, pulling his fingers from his mouth and pointing to the assortment of dinosaurs printed all over the pull-up.

"That's right," Matt agreed as he settled Louie back on the changing table and handed him the pull-up. "Hold that for me, please?"

Though it didn't seem like much, Matt knew getting Louie to at least wear a pull-up was a huge accomplishment. Anything related to trying the potty had been an absolute fight with Louie. He didn't like the pull-ups and he screamed whenever he or Gabby attempted to sit up on the toilet to just try and go potty.

Lifting Louie up from the changing table and sitting him back down on the floor, Matt followed the toddler over to his dresser and pulled open the second to bottom drawer. "How about pants today," Matt suggested, "It's a little cold from all that rain."

"Cold?" Louie asked.

Matt nodded, "It's cold outside." Grabbing the dark gray and neon green jogger pants, Matt held them out for Louie's approval. The toddler nodded and plopped down on the floor before attempting to put them on all by himself.

When Gabby joined her boys in the kitchen for breakfast, Matt was just sitting a plate of pancakes down in the center of the table.

"Hi, mama!" Louie greeted before taking his plastic green fork and digging into his chocolate chip pancakes.

Gabby smiled wide, "Good morning, Little Man," she greeted as she stopped and dropped a kiss on the top of his head. "Did daddy make chocolate chip pancakes?"

With his mouth full and chocolate already covering his face, Louie gave his mother a wide grin, "Yeah!"

"Looks yummy!" She started to continue on towards the oven where Matt was when the assortment of colors caught her attention. Her smile grew as she approached the brightening bouquet in the center of the island countertop. "Babe," she began, "They're beautiful!" She drew the vase towards her so she could admire them up close. Glancing over, she met Matt's apprehensive gaze and her smile faltered, "What? What's wrong?"

He shook his head, "Nothing… I just wanted to say I'm sorry for… everything, I guess… and..."

"You guess?" Gabby repeated, her tone teetering towards anger. "You mean for cancelling our weekend plans and giving another woman a key to your hotel room?" She pushed the flowers back into the center of the counter and away from Louie's reach, "Great apology," she muttered.

"That's not how I meant it," he sighed and sent a look in Louie's direction before returning his attention back to the eggs in the frying pan, dropping the conversation for the time being.

Accepting Matt's silence for the sake of avoiding having a fight in front of Louie, Gabby walked over to the freshly brewed pot of coffee and reached for her favorite mug before stopping mid motion, "Damnit," she muttered under breath before moving to the refrigerator and grabbing a bottle of water.

Louie watched as his mother took a seat next to him, "Mama eat too?"

Gabby smiled, "Oh yeah, Mama is definitely going to eat some pancakes!"

But with not much of an appetite, Gabby barely touched her eggs and instead forced down a couple of bites of her pancake and half a piece of toast.

"Is there anything else that sounds good?" Matt asked from across the table as he watched Gabby struggle to finish eating her breakfast.

Gabby shook her head, "No…" feeling her stomach start to turn, she groaned and pushed her plate away before standing up and heading for the bathroom down the hall.

"Mama go?" Louie asked.

Matt nodded, "She'll be back." Hearing the sound of the bathroom door shut, Matt sent a concerned gaze towards the direction Gabby had disappeared to before returning his attention back to Louie. "You ready to go play?"

"Yeah!"

"Well let's get you cleaned up and then we can go play, ok?"

* * *

After pulling herself back together after another bout of sickness, Gabby had decided she needed to make an appointment as soon as possible to not only confirm what they already knew but to also ease her fears of repeating history.

"Dr. Cohen said she can get us in first tomorrow morning," Gabby said as she rejoined Matt in the living room. Leaving some distance, she took a seat next to him on the couch and reached out to set her phone down on the coffee table. Hearing her voice, Louie glanced up from his blocks and grinned at her. She returned his smile with one of her own, "Hey, Buddy."

"Bock!" He exclaimed, holding up a block in each hand.

"You've got lots of blocks. Are you gonna build a castle?"

"Big!" Louie answered before returning his attention back to his blocks that were scattered around about the living room floor.

"Hey," Matt whispered, successfully getting Gabby's attention. He could see the uncertainty in her eyes and he knew they still had a lot of things to talk about. Their fight from yesterday still lingered, unfinished and dancing between the little gazes they'd been sharing with each other throughout the morning. "What are you doing all the way over there?" He held an arm out, "Come here."

Giving him a small smile, Gabby scooted closer, tucking her legs beneath her and turning to face him. She propped her elbow up on the back of the couch and settled her chin in the palm of her hand. Tilting her head a little, she turned her attention back towards Louie as he moved about the living room floor in great concentration while building his castle.

Matt sighed, he was going to have to pry a little bit more. "I can see those wheels turning," Matt joked as he motioned to Gabby's head, "Looks like they're stuck in the mud, though. Talk to me, Gabby."

Gabby took a deep breath before finally meeting his eyes, "This changes nothing with Louie, right?" She didn't wait for him to respond before continuing, "I know it will be a lot, I do… but I can't lose him, Matt! I…" she shook her head as her emotions got the better of her and cut off her words mid-sentence.

"Hey, hey…" Matt leaned in and took Gabby's face in his hands, "Cross that thought off the list of worries you've already come up with because that is not something you need to worry about, ever," Matt insisted. "Louie is ours and he always will be. I promise."

"I just don't want everything being too much, too fast and you end up regretting some of it."

Matt chuckled, "Babe, it is a little too much, too fast if I'm being honest but hey, hey… just listen," he urged when she started to pull away. "But what's life without some surprises, huh? We made a conscious decision to bring Louie into our home because we knew it was what was best for him and for us. And for that, I don't regret it one bit and I never will. And I know everything is still kind of a work in progress… with my alderman duties but I just want you to know that you guys are it for me, Gabby. You, Louie and this baby…" he moved a hand to her stomach and intertwined his fingers with hers, "you guys are my number one priority, ok?"

Gabby nodded as the tears left her vision blurred, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Wuv you!" Louie exclaimed from his spot on the living room floor, causing his parents to breakout into laughter and turn their attention to him.

For the rest of the day both Matt and Gabby felt like they were toeing the edge of cloud nine, hesitant to make the leap into pure joy as the thoughts of Gabby's previous pregnancy lingered in both of their minds. They'd both tried their best to stay busy with Louie but every once in awhile one of them drift off into thought until the other nudged them back to the present.

"Louie," Gabby soothed, rubbing his back as she lightly swayed back and forth. "You slept in your bed last night, remember?" She repositioned him in her arms so he was now looking at her. His big brown eyes were filled with uncertainty and exhaustion. "And you've got Mr. Giraffe to keep you company."

Louie glanced down at the giraffe in his arms, up at Gabby and then down to his bed before returning his attention to Gabby. "Seep wif me?"

Gabby shook her head, "No, baby. Daddy and I are going to sleep in our bed tonight and you're going to sleep in your bed tonight."

With Louie's bedtime story being interrupted by a phone call, by the time Matt had returned, Gabby had finished the book and was now rocking Louie in her arms and trying her best to convince him that he would be ok in his own bed. Matt stayed back by the door, for selfish reasons and took in the sight of the two most important people in his life. It was only when Gabby yawned and readjusted Louie in her arms did he say something. She was clearly exhausted and struggling to keep Louie in her arms, "Here, let me stay with him."

Startled, Gabby glanced up and watched as Matt walked over to them, his hands out and reaching for Louie. "Are you sure?" Gabby asked as she handed Louie off to Matt, silently rejoicing in the weight being removed from her arms. In just the month that Louie had been with them, it was very much clear that he'd put on the weight and was finally starting to look more like a toddler who was nearing his third birthday.

"I'm sure," Matt insisted as he settled Louie on his side and met the toddler's tired eyes. "How about one more book, huh? We'll let Mama go to sleep?"

"Mama seep?" Louie repeated.

Gabby grinned and leaned in to leave a kiss on Louie's cheek, "I'll see you tomorrow morning, Big Guy, ok? I love you." After placing another kiss on Louie's cheek and rubbing his back, Gabby left the two boys alone in Louie's room.

"No seep wif me?" Louie asked, turning his attention back to his dad.

Matt shook his head as he lowered Louie down onto his bed, "Nope. Mama will sleep in her bed and you'll sleep in your bed." He reached over and grabbed one of Louie's favorite books off of his nightstand and held it up for him to see, "How about this one?"

Louie grinned, "Moon!"

"That's right!" Matt agreed as he opened the cover to 'Goodnight, Moon'.

Across the hall, Gabby slipped her tired body beneath the covers before reaching over and grabbing the baby monitor from her nightstand. Scooting down, she turned towards the center of the bed and sat the monitor down next to her on the pillow and closed her eyes, allowing herself to soak in Matt's soft yet animated voice as he read to Louie. She smiled as he paused before turning each page and giving Louie time to take in the illustrations.

"...And goodnight light and the… what color balloon is that?"

"Wed!"

"That's right, it's red! And the red balloon. Goodnight bears, goodnight chairs… ready to turn the page?"

"I do it!"

"Good job! Goodnight kittens and goodnight mittens. Goodnight… what's that?" Matt asked, pointing to the clock.

"Tick-tock!" Louie exclaimed as he bounced in Matt's arms.

Matt chuckled, "That's what sound it makes. It's a clock. Goodnight clocks and goodnight socks…"

Having drifted off at some point during the story, Gabby startled back awake when she felt the mattress dip beneath her as Matt joined her in bed. She groaned and rolled away from Matt, hoping to drift back to sleep with ease.

"Sorry," Matt whispered as he reached over Gabby and returned the baby monitor to her nightstand. "I tried to be careful," he murmured. He slipped an arm around her waist and started to bring her closer to him but stopped when her body stiffened and she hissed. "What? What's wrong?"

"Just sore," Gabby answered as she pushed Matt's hand down a bit and away from her tender breasts.

"Oh...I'm sorry. Are you ok?"

"Yeah," Gabby answered tiredly.

"Good, good…." rethinking his movements, he scooted closer to her and buried his face in the crook of her neck. The oversized t-shirt she was wearing for bed gave him access to her shoulder and he sprinkled her bare skin with kisses. "You're definitely pregnant," Matt murmured between the kisses.

Gabby sighed, "Can we just not talk about it until we're sure?" She turned her head just enough to cause him to lift his head up, "I just don't want to get my hopes up."

"Gabby," Matt started, "I think three positive pregnancy tests make it pretty damn sure."

"A pregnancy test can't tell us if everything is normal, Matt. We learned that in the worst possible way." Once again, creating a bit of distance, she pulled the comforter closer to her, "I just want to sleep; these past couple of days have been exhausting."

Catching the double meaning behind her words, Matt conceded and rolled away from Gabby and onto his back. Settling one arm under his head, he reached up with this other hand and pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a heavy sigh as he did so. "Are we at least going to finish our conversation from this morning?"

"What else is there to talk about? Susan convinced you to ditch your weekend plans with your family and then somehow she thinks it's ok to hold onto a key to your hotel. It's pretty black and white if you ask me."

"Gabby…"

"Not tonight, Matt."


	8. This Is Real?

_**Oh! Hey, guys! Remember me? Remember this story? I'll keep it short...sorry for the delay, thanks for the reviews, thanks for the twitter fam for not letting me forget this story and most of all, thanks to Em for always encouraging me and reading over this!**_

 _Back at One_

 _Chapter Eight: This is Real?_

Grimacing, Gabby stopped her efforts of forcing herself into a standing position as another wave of nausea crashed into her full force. With her knees meeting the tiled floor beneath her, she hunched forward towards the toilet.

The morning had not gotten off to a good start.

In fact, it had picked up right where it had ended last night.

Tense.

Louie had wandered into their room a little after three in the morning and being too exhausted to fight with him, Gabby had asked Matt to take the toddler back to his room. This in turn, resulted in Louie spending a good hour crying for both his mommy and daddy before Gabby caved and went across the hall to sing Louie back to sleep. They'd both managed to get a few hours of sleep before Louie woke back up around six and again cried for them. This time, though, Matt thankfully took charge and carried Louie out into the living room where the little boy had eventually fallen back asleep after twenty minutes of cartoons.

It was now a little after seven thirty and Gabby knew they were running short on time. She was showered, dressed and ready to go if only her stomach would settle wasn't sure if the overwhelming anxiety she was experiencing, but her entire body seemed to be rebelling against her.

Closing her eyes, Gabby silently prayed her stomach would calm down just enough for her to push herself up into a standing positions.

"Gabby?"

"I'm fine," she called over her shoulder. "Go ahead and get Louie packed up in your truck, I'll be out in a few minutes."

Matt lingered by the bathroom door a bit longer before Louie's calls pulled him away.

Gabby waited until she could no longer hear Matt's retreating footsteps before she sucked in a deep breath and attempted to stand again. Thankfully, she had no issues this time and once she was sure her stomach wasn't going to deceive her, she moved over to the sink to brush her teeth for the second time that morning.

Besides the small talk with Cindy and the 'I love you's' and 'Bye-Bye's' with Louie, neither Gabby or Matt hardly said much between their place and Dr. Cohen's office.

As they stood in the lobby waiting for the elevator, Matt couldn't help but notice Gabby's trembling hand at her side. He reached down and took her hand in his and wrapped his fingers across her knuckles, slowing her anxious fidgeting. Moving his gaze away from their joined hands, Matt drew his eyes up to hers and gave her a reassuring smile, "No matter what… it's ok. You know that, right?"

Biting her bottom lip in effort to keep it from also trembling, Gabby gave a sharp nod before squeezing Matt's hand in response. "I…" the dinging of the elevator doors opening cut her off.

"Come on," Matt said as he led her into the packed elevator.

Just as all the signs, symptoms and positive pregnancy tests had indicated; Gabby was in fact pregnant. And while the possibility had cemented itself within both Gabby and Matt's thoughts, it was still a moment of awe and shock when Dr. Cohen confirmed it.

Almost nine weeks according to Dr. Cohen's estimates.

But it wasn't until the ultrasound confirmed that everything was exactly as it should be did Gabby burst into tears as she allowed the news to fully sink in.

The drive from Dr. Cohen's office to the firehouse was done in complete silence as both occupants of the truck seemed to be lost in their own thoughts.

Slowing to a stop in front of a red light, Matt was the first to break the silence, "It's a lot to take in, huh?" He cast a quick glance in Gabby's direction, waiting for her to turn and meet his eyes.

"Very much so," Gabby agreed, letting her head lull away from the window and back in Matt's direction. "This is really real, isn't it?"

Matt nodded, "Really, really real," he answered, grinning when a tiny smile cracked through Gabby's anxious frown. Focusing his attention back on the road in front of him, he eased off the brake as the light turned green. "But we're ready… I truly believe it."

Not feeling as confident, Gabby hummed softly in response as she turned her attention to the sights of the city as a silence once again settled between the couple for the remainder of the drive to their firehouse.

Though shift was well underway, nobody besides Severide and Chief had known about them running late so Matt's usual spot up front was still open. Pushing the gear up and killing the engine, Matt pulled the keys from the ignition and pushed open his door before climbing out. With both feet firmly planted on the blacktop he glanced into the truck as he reached for his bag but stopped as he caught Gabby's teary gaze. "What? What's wrong?"

Gabby shook her head and hurried to wipe her tears before they even had a chance to break free. "Nothing."

" _Gabby,"_ Matt began as he made a move to climb back into his truck.

"Don't," Gabby insisted as she reached over and removed her seat belt, "we can't be later than we already are."

Matt huffed and suppressed an eyeroll. _Classic Gabby,_ he thought silently to himself as he bit back something that would be sure to start an argument. "Fine… for now." Reaching behind his seat to the back seat, he grabbed his bag. "Let's go, then. I told Chief we'd be in around nine." Shutting his door, he walked around the front of his truck and opened Gabby's door, offering out a hand as she climbed out of the truck.

"Thanks," she murmured, her free hand briefly brushing across her stomach before she reached in for her bags.

"I've got them," Matt assured her as he reached in grabbed them in one swift grasp.

"I can carry my own bags," Gabby started to argue.

"I know. But I always carry them so why start now? Don't want people getting suspicious," he quipped, earning a small smirk from her in response. He took a few steps back to give her room to step back and close the truck door. He dropped his bag at his feet to free up a hand and reached for Gabby before she started to lead the way up to the firehouse, "Hey."

Gabby glanced up and backtracked towards him, "What?"

"Just a few more minutes," Matt insisted before dropping Gabby's bags on the other side of him so he could use both hands to encircle her waist and pull her to him. Keeping an arm around her lower back, Matt moved his other hand over her side and settled it on her stomach. He didn't miss the hitch in her throat as his fingers went skiing across the flat terrain of her stomach. "I love you so much," Matt whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers.

"I love you, too," Gabby murmured, her eyes briefly closing as she settled into Matt's arms.

"We've got this… you've got this."

"I hope so."

"I know so." With one last peck on her lips, Matt leaned down picked their bags back up. He shouldered Gabby's so he could free up a hand to take her hand in his. "Come on."

Hand in hand, Matt and Gabby walk up to the firehouse. They stopped just long enough to let Ambulance 61 turn into the drive before continuing on.

"Looks like it might've been a rough call," Gabby voiced, catching the less than thrilled looks on the paramedics' faces as they passed by.

"Looks that way," Matt agreed.

The two of them continued on and entered the firehouse just as the driver and passenger side doors of the ambulance opened simultaneously.

"I didn't sign up to be a paramedic," Jimmy grumbled his body language radiating anger as he jumped out of the passenger side and slammed the door shut.

"Yeah, well I didn't sign up to be PIC!" Sylvie snapped in response as she shut the driver's side door just as hard. "But I'm here and you're here so you're just going to have to deal!" Brett watched as Jimmy huffed and marched into the firehouse. She briefly clenched her fists at her sides before taking a deep breath and plastering a huge smile on her face as she saw Matt and Gabby, "Hi guys! I'd love to stay and catch up on how your weekend was but I've got a partner to go yell at!"

"Ok, then," Matt muttered, sharing a confused look with Gabby.

Gabby sighed, "I'll talk to her later."

"Good, because I wasn't planning on volunteering to talk to Jimmy."

"Matt," Gabby scolded. "Just because he's not on truck anymore doesn't mean you get to stop showing interest."

Matt shook his head, "It's not like that. About a week or so ago, I heard from a couple of the guys that Borelli's been really unhappy on ambo and I guess his brothers are giving him grief about not being on truck. I mentioned to him that my office door was always open if he ever wanted to talk and had we been standing by my office, he probably would have slammed the door in my face. Sounds like he's now taking it out on Brett."

The couple managed to enter the firehouse and make it to the locker room unnoticed. A million thoughts had been bouncing around inside Gabby's head since Dr. Cohen had confirmed her pregnancy and she was having a hard time really focusing on any one thought. She knew they had to tell chief, there was really no question about it. But being nine weeks, she really wanted to hold off on telling the rest of the house until she'd made it to her twelfth week.

She also knew that the news would mean her time on truck would come to an end. But she did not want to go back to Arson. It just wasn't for her. She wasn't meant to sit behind a desk for eight hours a day. No, she wanted to stay at Fifty-One. "Hey, Matt?" Gabby asked as a thought occurred to her.

Matt glanced up from his bag, "Yeah?"

Clearing her throat, she glanced over at him with a look of uncertainty, "What if Borelli and I switched?"

"You mean, he comes back to truck as candidate and you go back to ambo?" Matt asked with hesitation, unsure if he'd actually understood Gabby right.

Gabby nodded and gave Matt a small reassuring smile, "It's ok, baby… I'm not going to snap at you for giving me your honest opinion."

"Is this a trap?"

Gabby rolled her eyes, " _No_." She cleared her throat, "While it's not something I really want to admit, what happened last shift scared me… it _really_ scared me, Matt."

"Oh?"

"I made a promise to Louie to be there for him and I can't keep that promise if I keep running into burning buildings every day. I think I want to go back to ambo…" she shook her head, "It would probably be a demotion since Brett is PIC now but I think it might be for the best." She placed her free hand over her stomach and glanced down at it, "Especially now."

Shutting his locker, Matt walked over to Gabby with a goofy grin on his face. Not breaking eye contact, he placed his hand on top of hers, "Whatever you decide, I'm with you one hundred and ten percent." He leaned down and kissed her, "Always."

Taking a shaky breath, Gabby grinned, "Thank you." She frowned, "You think maybe we can tell Chief but hold off on telling rest of the house until I'm passed the first trimester?"

Matt shrugged, "I don't see why not."

Gabby nodded, "Good, good…." she turned and shut the door of her locker, "Oh! And don't forget to add my doctor's appointment to the calendar in your phone," she reminded him.

"On it," Matt said as he pulled his phone from his pocket and scrolled through his calendar. "Doctor's appointment, June 2nd at 8:00." He grinned at Gabby as he returned his phone to his pocket, "Done."

"Doctor's appointment?" Chief Boden questioned as he joined the couple in the locker room. He shifted his look of concern between the two, "Everything ok?"

"Uh…" Matt began before trailing off and glancing down at Gabby, silently asking her to take lead on this one.

Gabby took Matt's hand in hers before turning her attention to their chief. "Yeah… it's for my twelve week check-up."

Boden shook his head confused, "Twelve week check-up? What do you…" his words stopped as the realization hit him. Eyes wide, the look of shock and excitement danced between the two people in front of him before finally settling on Gabby, "You're… are you?"

Gabby nodded as her smile grew, "I am..." she laughed nervously and met Matt's eyes, "it definitely wasn't expected but we're excited." She took a deep breath as a hand went to her stomach, "I'm nine weeks and everything…" her breath hitched, "and everything is good… everything is just like it's supposed to be."

Boden's face broke out into a grin, "Well I'd say congratulations are in order!" With just a couple of long strides, he was just inches from Gabby and pulling her into a hug. Having been there when Gabby's previous pregnancy came to a screeching halt, he couldn't help the slight anxiety as he pulled back and glanced down at someone he considered to a be a daughter, "Did they do an ultrasound?"

Hurriedly wiping away the stray tear that fell, Gabby discouraged Boden's concerns with a sharp nod, "Everything looks good."

"Good, good! Uh… why don't we head somewhere a bit more private?" He briefly glanced up at Matt, "My office?"

Matt nodded, a hand subconsciously going to Gabby's lower back, motioning for her to go first, "Yeah… we want to keep this from hitting the rumor mill until the first trimester is over."

"Completely understand," Boden threw over his shoulder as he started towards his office.

Closing the door behind him, Chief glanced between the happy couple before finally settling on Gabby, "You know this means I've got to take you off truck, right?"

Gabby nodded, "I know, I know." She sighed, "But Chief, I really don't want to go back to Arson."

"Oh?" He motioned for the both of them to have a seat in the matching chairs facing his desk as he moved across the room and settled in his own chair. He gave Gabby a nod and encouraged her to continue, "I'm listening."

Perfecting her posture, Gabby wrung her hands together nervously as she shared a look with Matt before turning her attention to her superior. "Yeah, so I was thinking that maybe I move back to ambo and Borelli goes back to truck?"

In usual Chief Boden fashion, he turned his chin up a bit as he thought over Gabby's suggestion. "I could do with less dirty looks from the kid," he voiced.

* * *

"Hey, Chica!" Stella greeted as she bounced into the bunk room and took a seat on her bed across from Gabby's. "Chief said you and Casey had an appointment. Is everything ok?"

Gabby glanced up from her phone and met Stella's eyes, searching them carefully. "Everything's fine… Louie had an appointment," she finally answered.

Stella raised a brow, "You sure about that?"

Gabby rolled her eyes, "Nothing gets by you, does it?"

"Nope," Stella answered before breaking out in a mischievous grin. "Someone's gotta keep up with all the happenings of Fifty-One," she joked. In one swift move she was off of her bed and taking a seat on the edge of Gabby's bed. "So tell me… how did this _appointment_ really go?"

Gabby took a deep breath. She was dying to tell someone. She just needed to say it out loud to someone again and solidify the exciting and terrifying reality of the news. Glancing around, she took a seat next to Stella, "I had an appointment, not Louie," she began. She took another deep breath, "I'm pregnant."

"I knew it!" Stella exclaimed, laughing at the perplexed look on Gabby's face. She gave a sheepish smile, "Girl! It was pretty obvious! I almost brought it up last shift but…" she trailed, not wanting to get Severide in trouble for telling her something that was obviously very personal for Gabby and Matt.

"But what?" Gabby asked.

"Severide stopped me," Stella started to explain. "He told me about what happened last year… but please don't be mad at him!"

Giving Stella sad smile, Gabby shook her head, "I'm not mad at him," she assured her friend.

"This is good news, right? This is huggable news?" Stella asked, earning a teary laugh from Gabby in return.

"Yes," Gabby nodded, "this is good news…" She wiped at her eyes, "Very unexpected but also very good."

"Then get your ass over here so I can give you a hug!"

Outside the firehouse, Matt and Severide found themselves dusting off an old tradition. "If I'm being honest, I'm kind of freaking out," Matt admitted to Severide, having just told him the news of Gabby's pregnancy.

Severide chuckled, "Just kind of?" The squad lieutenant shook his head in amusement, "I'd be shitting myself if I were you."

"Gee, thanks for the support," Matt deadpanned.

"Oh come on, you and Dawson were born to be parents! You guys have got this!"

Matt shook his head, "You know, maybe I wouldn't be so freaked out if Gabby weren't giving me the cold shoulder. This whole _Susan_ thing really created a mess!"

"Ah yes, Susan," Severide nodded, "I heard all about her and the spare key to your hotel room. Dude, did she really just let herself in?"

"Yeah, but I don't think she meant anything by it. It's not like I was naked or anything."

"But you could've been and who knows, maybe that's what she wanted. She does have a bit of a stalker vibe about her. I mean, she basically hunted you down and threw herself at you."

Matt huffed, "This isn't going to go away is it?"

"Not as long as she is working for you," Severide answered honestly.

Matt sighed and glanced at his watch, "Well thanks for the encouraging words… I'm going to go see if she's up for a much needed conversation."

Severide snickered, "Good luck, man."

It didn't take long for Matt to find Gabby. She was sitting on her bunk, legs curled beneath her and her face buried in paperwork. He immediately recognized the green folder cradling all the paperwork as the one that she kept all of Louie's information in and his curiosity piqued.

"Hey," he said softly, not wanting to startle her.

"Hey," Gabby greeted, not bothering to look up. "I'd ask where you disappeared to but I could smell the cigar smoke on you as soon as you walked over here. You and Severide have a nice talk?"

Matt sighed as he took a seat in front of Gabby on her bed and placed a hand on her knee slowing down the rhythmic bouncing from the anxiety that was coursing through her. "It was nice," he finally answered. "It had been a while. I told him."

"I figured. I told Stella." Gabby rolled her eyes as she looked up to meet Matt's eyes, "Well, more like she guessed. Apparently I was the only one oblivious to what was going on with my own body."

Matt shook his head, "Don't beat yourself up about it. Things have been a little stressful around here lately, it's understandable. And…" he paused, mulling over what he wanted to say and how he wanted to say it.

Gabby raised a brow as she watched him expectantly, blinding discarding the papers in her hand and giving Matt her full attention, "And?"

"I can understand why Susan having a key to my room upset you."

"Oh?" Gabby crossed her arms, "Did Severide help you come to this realization?"

Matt sighed, "Come on, Gabby… I'm trying here. I'd rather be celebrating with you than arguing with you."

"I don't want to argue with you, either!" Gabby countered, her defenses rising.

"I know, I know…" Matt glanced around them, though the bunk room was empty, he wanted someplace a little more private. Standing up, he held his hand out for Gabby, "My office?" He suggested.

Gabby gave a small nod and she pushed together all of Louie's paperwork before shutting the folder and tucking it under her arm. Looking up at Matt, she took his outreached hand and allowed him to help her up from her bed.

Stepping aside, Matt let Gabby enter his office first before following behind and pushing his office door shut. He watched as Gabby took up a spot at the foot of his bed and rested the green folder in her lap. She looked over at him expectantly, "What now?"

Matt sighed, "I just want you to talk to me, Gabby."

"Isn't that what we're doing right now?"

"Gabby, please," Matt begged as he moved across his office and took a seat next to her on his bed. "I hate how our disagreements and arguments tend to just go unfinished or get swept under the rug,"

"I'm just… stuck," Gabby admitted quietly.

Matt shook his head, not following, "What do you mean?"

"I have all these emotions running through me and I just can't seem to focus. I'm excited but at the same time I'm absolutely terrified and if I'm being really honest I'm still a little mad at you but then I feel bad for being mad because we should be celebrating and oomph-"

Caught off guard, Gabby grabbed a hold of either side of Matt's face to keep herself from falling back against the bed and happily leaned into his kiss once she recovered from the initial shock.

Only pulling back when the need for air became apparent, Matt pressed his forehead against Gabby's and looked down into her eyes with a grin, "I have been dying to kiss you like that since Dr. Cohen confirmed that you're pregnant." Sliding his hands up her hips and around her waist, he pulled her into his lap. "I love you more than anything, you know that, right?"

Gabby nodded, "Yeah…"

"Then please trust me."

"I do trust you… it's other people that I don't trust."

"Well forget about those people because they don't matter. The only people that have my full attention and my heart are you, Louie and this baby." Keeping his gaze locked on hers, he slipped a hand back around to her stomach and settled his palm right in the center. "Everything else is secondary or just not important at all."

His actions seemed to have a calming effect on her and Gabby felt some of the tension lift from her body as her posture relaxed in Matt's arms. "I'm pregnant," she whispered with a giddy grin.

Matt chuckled, "Yes you are." He dropped a quick kiss against her lips before finding her eyes again. "Just think, within a year we will go from not having any kids to being the parents of two!"

"Oh my God! We're going to need a bigger house, Matt!"

"You're probably right but we've got plenty of time to work on that. Right now, I just want to sit here with you for as long as I can until a call ruins the moment."

"Don't jinx it!" Gabby countered with laughter, wincing as her breasts pressed up against Matt's chest. Pulling away, she slipped out of Matt's lap and instead took a seat next to him.

"What's wrong?"

Gabby shook her head and sent him a reassuring smile, "Just sore. It's normal," she insisted. "It's actually something I've been experiencing for the past couple of weeks- especially whenever I've had Louie in my arms, I've just never connected the dots."

Matt nodded in understand though the look of concern didn't completely escape his features. "And what about the other symptoms? You were sick this morning…"

"It's normal, Babe," she insisted in an attempt to brush off his concerns. "There doesn't seem to be any pattern, just comes and goes whenever." She gave him an encouraging smile, "But hopefully once I hit my second trimester I'll get lucky and the morning sickness will start to taper off."

* * *

"Thanks again for helping," Brett said to Gabby as she pushed the doors shut of the ambulance. "I know it's kinda late and you'd probably rather be sleeping."

Gabby shook her head as she pushed her hands in the pockets of her jacket in an effort to combat the chilly temperature that had settled since the sun dipped beneath the horizon. "It's not a big deal," she insisted.

"I miss you," Brett admitted. "And I _really_ miss you being PIC. I mean, I know I'm qualified but there are times during a call where I just have to take a deep breath and ask myself what would Dawson do? You're just so sure of everything that you do and every decision you make…" she shook her head, "I don't like being PIC."

"What if I came back?" Gabby asked, causing Brett to stop mid-stride and spin around to face her.

"You're joking, right? Dawson, being a firefighter is your dream."

"Yeah… but sometimes dreams change and I don't know, become new and different, I guess." She shook her head, not quite following her own words.

Brett shook her head, "No… nope, I'm not buying it. What's really going on, Dawson?"

Gabby sighed and glanced around, she couldn't keep telling people without talking to Matt. Telling Stella was one thing because she knew for a fact that Matt had told Kelly but she really wanted to wait until she made it through the first trimester. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and opened them to meet Brett's very confused look, "What happened last shift… it scared me, Sylvie. Matt and I made a promise to Louie and how fair is it if we're _both_ running into burning buildings?"

"You know, this whole new _Mama Bear_ role really looks good on you!" Brett laughed, "I mean, I know they really only say it about pregnant women… but ever since you started fostering Louie…" Brett shook her head in amusement, "you're glowing, Dawson."

Gabby's breath briefly hitched in the back of her throat as she refrained from placing a hand on her stomach and bit back the news of her pregnancy. "It's an amazing feeling, Brett. I never thought…" she ducked her head in an attempt to keep her emotions in check before glancing back up at her friend, "I never thought that I'd ever start to feel whole again."

Brett tilted her head and smiled, "You're really considering this, aren't you?"

"Only if you'll have me back?" Gabby teased in an effort to lighten the mood.

"Hell yeah!" Brett exclaimed. She clapped her hands and pulled Gabby into a hug, "Oh my goodness! I'm so excited! Mermaid time is back!"

Gabby laughed and returned Brett's hug, "It will be nice to have some mermaid time again."

"Most definitely!" Brett pulled back, her grin still just as wide, "And did you know Borelli hates donuts? Like, who the hell hates donuts? Alright, okay, so maybe there are some flavors that I could do without but come on, how can anyone actually _hate_ donuts?" She shook her head, "But whatever, his loss because now I'm back to having a partner that will join me in _Two for One Tuesdays_!"

"Just please do me a favor and keep this to yourself until Chief has filed the paperwork?"

"Oh! Definitely! My lips are sealed!" Brett mimed zipping her lips shut, locking them and throwing the key over her shoulder.

Gabby shook her head as she laughed again, "I've missed your antics." She stifled a yawn, "Excuse me. Louie had me up early again this morning. I think I'm going to go climb into my bunk and see if I can't manage some sleep before a call comes in."

* * *

"Hey Hot Mama!" Stella greeted as she joined Gabby in the locker room the following morning. Glancing around, she made sure they were alone before practically bouncing over to her own locker. "I'd ask how you're feeling but I heard you tossing and turning last night so I think it's safe to say you're probably exhausted."

Gabby's head popped up, a look of embarrassment washing over her features, "Was I really that bad?"

Stella shrugged, "Nah. I just couldn't sleep so I heard you… Brett on the other hand was so dead asleep that an earthquake probably wouldn't have disturbed her."

Gabby nodded as she processed her friend's words, "Wait… why couldn't you sleep?"

"Late night espresso experiments with Otis. Trying to get him to add some coffee options to the menu at Molly's," Stella explained.

"Oh… right, I vaguely remember Herrmann complaining about that yesterday afternoon." Grimacing, she sucked in a breath and placed a hand on her stomach in hopes of calming the tides of nausea. "We've got to figure something out, though," she continued once her stomach settled a little bit. "Business has definitely slowed and I feel bad because I know I've been neglecting my co-owner duties but-"

Stella was quick to wave off Gabby's concerns, "Oh don't worry about it! That's what you've got me for! You gotta lot on your plate, Dawson! A baby and one on the way not to mention Casey's hectic schedule. Your hands are full!"

"And that's what scares me," Gabby admitted meekly as she shouldered her bag before finally looking back over at her friend. "There's so much on our plates right now that what if it's too much and something goes wrong? I mean, Louie is still adjusting and with Matt's alderman duties, our jobs here and not to mention… things between Matt and I are kind of tense for the lack of a better word and I'm just scared it's all going to come crashing down!"

Stella's jaw dropped a little as she processed Gabby's long winded confession, "First things first, you and Lieutenant are solid, so Honey, just get that fear completely out of your head. Second, life ain't easy! If it was then it would be pretty damn boring! And I'm no expert on relationships but maybe you and Matt need to… I don't know… sit down and talk?"

"Talking turns into arguing."

"Well then argue," Stella countered. "In fact, why don't you and Matt go out and celebrate?"

"Like a date?" Gabby questioned.

Stella snorted, "Yes! Like a date! I know you two already act like an old married couple but I think it might be good for you guys. In fact, why don't you let Kelly and I take Louie for a couple of hours tomorrow evening and you two can enjoy a nice, quiet and romantic dinner?"

"You guys want to watch Louie?"

Stella shrugged, "Sure. Why not? Kel and I can take him out to dinner, maybe a trip to the park and then put him down for bed."

"Don't you have to talk to Severide about it first?"

"Talk to me about what?" Severide asked as he strode into the locker room and went straight for his locker.

"I offered up our babysitting services tomorrow evening so Gabs and Lieutenant can have a nice, quiet dinner… just the two of them… where they can actually _talk."_

Gabby rolled her eyes, "And I'm trying to tell Stella that it's very short notice and-"

"I think it's a great idea," Severide interjected as he shouldered his bag and shut his locker door before approaching the two women. He focused his attention on Gabby, "Just go out for a couple of hours and enjoy yourselves."

* * *

"Mama!" Louie squealed as he looked up from the pile of blocks he'd just knocked down with a toy motorcycle. "I cash!" Discarding the toy, he jumped up and ran straight towards his mother and crashed into her embrace, wrapping his arms securely around her neck.

Gabby laughed, "I see that!" Wincing from his weight, she hoisted him up into her hold and stood up. Dropping a kiss on his cheek, she shifted him onto her hip and gave him a quick look over. "Did you have fun with Cindy and Kenny?"

"Uh-huh," Louie gave answered with a sharp nod. "Miss you!"

"I missed you too and so did daddy," Gabby added, noticing Matt was acting a bit standoffish. "I bet daddy would like a hug, too, yeah?"

Louie grinned as he tried to wiggle his way out of his mother's hold, "Dada no work!"

Matt grinned as he reached out and took Louie from Gabby's arms, "Not today, Buddy. It's just going to be me, you and mommy."

"Ice-ceam?" He asked, earning a laugh from the adults.

"Maybe later, how about some pancakes?"

"Yeah!" Louie clapped, "Cakes!"

Gabby motioned to the pile of toys, "Before we leave Baby, you need to help Kenny pick up the blocks you were playing with."

Louie shook his head, "No!"

Matt gave Louie a stern look, "Louie, we've talked about this. If you make a mess, you have to clean it up, remember?"

"No! I pay!"

"But we're leaving so you need to help put the toys away," Gabby countered. This was something they had been working on for the past couple of days and she really wanted to see it through. Unfortunately, though, she could tell by the look on Louie's face that he'd already shut down.

"No!"

Cindy frowned, having spent a lot of time with the toddler, she was well aware of the behavioral issues and knew this was more than just parenting. "It's ok," she assured the new parents, "Kenny is still playing with the blocks."

"Are you sure?" Gabby asked.

"Yes, I am. Louie and I worked on cleaning up our mess yesterday after we made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, didn't we?" She gave Gabby a reassuring look, "He was up early this morning so he'll probably fall asleep before his normal naptime."

Gabby pursed her lips, "Did he sleep alright?"

Cindy nodded reassuringly, "For the most part."

* * *

Feeling Louie's weight on her was what eventually pulled Gabby from her deep sleep. Opening her eyes, she winced against the bright sunlight that was streaming in through the window from the kitchen. Raising her free hand, she attempted to block the light as she carefully maneuvered herself into a sitting position without waking up Louie.

Having just returned from cleaning out the back of his truck, Matt was moving mid-stride towards the bathroom when he caught Gabby's movements and chuckled, "Good afternoon, Sleepyhead."

She rubbed her eyes as she attempted to stretch her back out, "Afternoon?"

Matt nodded, "I got back home with lunch around 12 and it's almost 2."

"Oh… I guess I was tired."

"You weren't the only one." Matt held up his dirty hands, "Let me get cleaned up and then I'll move him to his bed."

Still not quite awake, Gabby just nodded before letting her head fall back against the couch. With the sunlight starting to irritate her eyes, she let them fall shut- only opening them once she heard Matt's footsteps approaching.

Leaning down, Matt carefully took Louie from Gabby's lap and guided the toddler's head to his shoulder. He gave Gabby a small smile before carrying Louie down the hall and to his room to continue his nap.

When Matt returned, he was a little concerned to find the couch empty. He followed the noises coming from the kitchen and smiled at the sight of Gabby standing over the sink as she dumped the cold coffee that had remained in the pot. Though her back was to him, he could picture the disapproving frown that was most likely holding her lips.

Approaching her, he stopped right behind her and slipped his arms around her waist, pressing a kiss against the side of her face as she allowed herself to settle back within his embrace. "Quitting cold turkey, huh?"

"Don't have a choice," she mumbled as her eyes fluttered shut.

"Mmm… you still tired?"

"A little but I want to take advantage of Louie still napping and get some things done."

"Anything I can help with?"

Gabby shook her head, "Not really. Cindy gave me another bag of Kenny's old clothes so I thought about going through it and seeing what would fit Louie right now."

Matt nodded, "Hope there are some shirts in there… the kid is growing like a weed!"

"He is!" Gabby agreed with small chuckle. "Now that we've kind of figured out what he likes to eat, he's been putting the food away. Oh!" A thought occurred to her, "Which reminds me, we've got to find Louie a pediatrician for his three year check-up. I was looking over his medical records the other day and it's very sporadic. I know he was given a thorough check-up once he was put back into the state's custody but I really want to find a pediatrician and not just our family doctor."

"Makes sense," Matt responded before taking a bite of the apple he'd swiped from the bowl of fruit sitting on the counter.

Gabby gave him an appreciative smile, "Good." She took a deep breath, "Speaking of our Little Man, Stella and Kelly have offered to watch him tomorrow night while you and I enjoy a night out…"

"Oh?"

"It was her suggestion, not mine," Gabby hurriedly pointed out. "If you don't want to-"

"I do!" Matt interjected. "I actually think it's a great idea! Maybe dinner and a movie? Or just dinner and a stroll by the river? Give us a chance to talk a little bit more?"

Gabby nodded, "Yeah, yeah… that sounds nice. I miss our walks by the river..." she laughed, "don't get me wrong, I love taking strolls with Louie but they're not as relaxing when you're constantly chasing a toddler around."

Matt chuckled, "So it's a date?"

Gabby grinned, "It's a date!"


	9. Switching to the Old

_**Sigh, I don't have an excuse. I really don't. Motivation came and went. I got stuck on the date scene and finally I just tossed the entire chapter and started over. I can't thank you guys enough for sticking with me, especially all those times that I said an update was coming. I wish my muse stuck with me but it doesn't.**_

 _ **Again, major thanks to Em for always listening to me and my wandering muse that likes to hop around like a bunny on caffeine.**_

 _ **Anyways, this chapter went in a completely different direction but I hope you guys still enjoy it and hopefully next chapter things jump ahead a little bit. It has not been proofed by anybody but me so I apologize for mistakes.**_

 _ **As always, shoot me a review if you're still around to read this.**_

 _ **Love you all!**_

 **Back at One**

 **Chapter Nine-Switching to the Old**

"Now listen up!" Chief Boden's voiced boomed throughout the conference room, garnering everyone's attention and effectively putting an end to the small talk that was floating throughout. "We've got a couple of changes going on…" he gave Gabby a small, reassuring nod that went unnoticed by most of the men and women in the room. Hands on his hips, he took a look around, "Starting today, Dawson will be transferring back to Ambulance 61 as P.I.C and Borelli will be rejoining Truck as candidate. Any questions?" Without waiting for a response, he gave another sharp nod, "Good. That's all I've got. Let's have a good shift." He turned to Truck's returning candidate, "Borelli, I've got a few things I need you to sign for HR. Join me in my office?"

Borelli nodded excitedly, "Sure thing, Chief!"

As everybody else started to disperse and go their own ways, Cruz nudged Otis, "Hey, dude, how much you wanna bet that the higher ups got wind of Dawson and the Lieutenant's relationship and put their foot down?"

Unbeknownst to him, his former lieutenant was right behind him, "How much you wanna bet that I can get your lieutenant to come up with some spur of the moment drills for you, huh?"

Cruz met Casey's less than thrilled gaze, "Sorry, Lieutenant."

"Uh-huh…just do me a favor and keep your theories to yourself, will ya?" Not bothering to wait for an answer, he sought out Gabby with his eyes found her listening intently to Brett as they exited the conference room side by side.

Sensing Matt's gaze on her, Gabby glanced over her shoulder and met his gaze. She gave him a small, reassuring smile, letting him know she was fine before returning her attention to Brett as the blonde excitedly filled her in on different ambo related gossip.

* * *

Stepping into the common room after coming back from their first call of the shift, Stella was quick to spot Gabby taking up a seat in the far corner of the room. "Hmm…" she stuffed her hands in her pockets and marched right over to her friend, plopping herself down in the empty seat next to Gabby, "So uh…whose idea was it to cancel at the last minute, huh?"

Gabby rolled her eyes and pocketed her phone, "Uh…it was a mutual decision…I guess…"

"Oh?" Stella waved Gabby on to continue, "I'm listening."

Sighing, Gabby sat up straight, wincing at the stiffness in her back as she did so, "Louie had a meltdown, I wasn't feeling very well and…" she shrugged, her jaw tightening just a little despite her best efforts, "Matt had an issue with one of his constituents."

Stella pursed her lips in typical Kidd fashion in an effort to hold back what she was completely thinking, "I suppose those are some valid reasons. Lieutenant's constituent issue had nothing to do with She-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named, did it?"

"Ha!" Gabby exclaimed, missing the curious look Matt shot her from his place by the coffee pot where he'd been listening to Cruz talk about The Bears' draft picks. "She's not Voldemort, Kidd."

"Well she might as well be! She's two-faced and feeds off of trying to ruin lives!"

Gabby raised a single brow, the comparison was definitely there, "Ok, ok, you're not wrong but for once, I can't blame her." Gabby shook her head, "I don't know, things just went downhill almost as soon as the day began yesterday. I wasn't feeling terrible but I don't know, my body just wasn't having it."

"And we know what that's about," Stella quipped. "So that leaves Mister Man…he had a meltdown? Pretty typical for a toddler."

"True," Gabby agreed. "But it was just different…I really want to get him in with a new pediatrician so maybe we can get referrals for a behavioral specialist." She sighed and messed anxiously with the end of her ponytail, "Matt took Louie grocery shopping with him and when they came back, Louie was in tears, Matt was at his wit's end and there were no groceries."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, long story short, Louie wanted cookies and Matt told him no. I guess he threw himself down on to ground and just lost it right in the middle of the grocery store. When they got home, I could tell Matt was completely flustered. As soon as Louie was out of Matt's arms, he came running towards me and held on for dear life."

* * *

"I am so sorry, Gabby," Cindy explained as she transferred Louie into Gabby's outreached arms, "The school nurse called me and Annabelle's got pink eye so I've got to go pick her up."

Gabby shook her head, "No, no, it's fine." She adjusted Louie on her hip, "Don't worry about it, I'll figure something out." She smiled down at a very confused Louie, "Can you tell Miss Cindy bye?"

"Bye-bye," Louie mumbled, raising his hand just enough to look like a wave.

Gabby sighed as she watched Cindy hurry out of the firehouse before turning her attention back to Louie. "You wanna go find daddy and see what he's doing?"

"Uh-huh," Louie agreed with a sharp nod.

"Ok then, come on."

Heading towards the bunks, the duo ran into an apologetic Herrmann, "Dawson, I just ran into Cindy and I'm really sorry."

Gabby shook her head, "It's fine, Herrmann, really. I'll just call Antonio. He took the week off because Eva and Diego are visiting for spring break. You and Cindy have already done so much so please don't apologize."

Taking one final look over the report he'd just finished up, Matt wasn't paying any attention as he exited his office and headed towards Boden's office.

"Hi daddy!" Louie called out.

Matt's head snapped up, startled and confused by the toddler's voice. The smile was instant, though, as soon as he laid eyes on the tot. "Hey, Louie!" He met Gabby's eyes and silently asked her if everything was ok as he approached them. He tucked the report under his arm and held out his hands for Louie, his heart skipping a beat as the toddler mirrored his actions and willingly went to him.

Yesterday's cookie meltdown had seemingly been forgotten.

"Annabelle has pink eye so Cindy had to go pick her up from school. I'm going to call Antonio to come get him," Gabby explained as she shouldered Louie's bag that Cindy had handed to her in her hurry to leave.

Matt nodded, "Sounds good but in the meantime," he glanced down at Louie, tickling his stomach just enough to earn a few giggles and squirms. "How about we go inspect the firetruck, huh? You wanna go climb up in the firetruck? Otis might even let you check out the driver's seat!"

Louie grinned, his feet kicking in excitement and pointing towards the apparatus floor where he knew the trucks were parked, "Yeah! I go see tuck!"

Gabby grinned, the knot in her stomach easing just a bit at Louie's happiness. "Just don't let Otis give him the keys," she quipped, only half-joking. She pulled her phone from her pocket, "I'll go call my brother."

"Hey! It's Lieutenant Louie!" Cruz exclaimed, throwing his hands up in excitement as he rounded the corner, nearly running into the father/son duo.

"Lieutenant Louie here is on his way to inspect the firetrucks," Matt explained. "Isn't that right, Big Guy?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well you're just in time for lunch! Tony's cousin just dropped off an entire Italian feast!"

Matt looked over at Louie, "What do you say? Lunch first and then we inspect the trucks?"

Louie scowled, "Tuck!"

"We will, we will," Matt promised, "but first, we eat." He tickled Louie's stomach, "Otherwise your tummy will start sounding like a lion. What sound does a lion make?"

"Roarrr!" Louie answered, "Lion go roarrr!"

Matt laughed, "That's right! Come on, let's go before Uncle Cruz eats it all!"

Louie shook his head, and furrowed his brows very seriously, "No eat all!"

"Well then we better hurry up," Matt exclaimed as he sat Louie down on his feet, "Let's go!"

Knowing exactly where the kitchen was, Louie didn't waste another second as he made a dash for it. Not even stopping as his mother came around the corner after finishing her phone call with her brother, "Hey, hey, what's the hurry?"

Matt chuckled as he followed close behind Louie, "Lunchtime. I told him he had to hurry up before Cruz ate it all," he threw over his shoulder in explanation.

"Ok, then," Gabby said as she started towards the kitchen. Making it just in time to see Louie run over to Cruz.

"No eat all, ooz!" He exclaimed very seriously, jumping up and down.

Cruz chuckled as he scooped up Louie and propped him on his hip, "I don't know, dude, I think I could eat it all."

Louie shook his head, "No! I eat all!"

"You're gonna eat it all?" Cruz repeated.

"Uh-huh!" He pointed to the only dish he recognized, "Ma and chee!"

"Come on, baby, let's get you a plate of food," Gabby said as she joined Louie and Cruz up by the counter. She took Louie back into her arms and with her free hand grabbed a paper plate, "What do you want besides mac and cheese?"

"Here," Matt said, joining them and reaching out for Louie, "It's going to be hard to get food with only one hand."

After making sure Louie was settled at the table with his food, Gabby grabbed a plate for herself. For once her stomach was growling at the aroma of food instead of rolling. Sitting her plate of food down in front of the empty seat next to Matt, Gabby was just about to settle in when the bell rang.

 _"Ambulance 61…"_

Gabby groaned, "Figures," she muttered. She quickly dropped a kiss on top of Louie's head, "Be good. I love you." She turned to Matt, "Antonio should be here in about an hour...if you get a call, Connie said she'll keep an eye on him."

Matt nodded, "Stay safe," he managed to get in before Gabby rushed off with Brett.

Kidd watched as Gabby and Brett hurried towards the apparatus floor before turning to Severide, "Lieutenant fill you in on why he and Dawson cancelled their date last night?" Kidd asked as she dumped some stuffed shells on her plate.

Severide shrugged as he used the spatula to cut a piece of lasagna, "Said a couple of things came up….didn't push for details. Not my business."

Kidd rolled her eyes, "That's where you're wrong. You should always ask for details."

"Why? You'll get them for me," he quipped, sending her a smirk.

"Fair enough," she conceded. "But more importantly, they still need that date. And I'll be damned if I don't make it happen for them within the next week or so."

Severide laughed, "You can't play cupid."

"Who said anything about playing cupid? They're already together and madly in love…it's more about playing relationship assistant…is that a thing?"

"If it wasn't before…it sounds like it is now."

* * *

It was well into the night by the time truck came back from a call and when Matt walked through the bunk room towards his office, he was a little concerned to see Gabby's bunk untouched.

"She's in your office, lieutenant," Brett answered, briefly looking up from her book just long enough to throw him a soft smile.

"Thanks, Brett," Matt answered with appreciation as he ran a hand through his sweaty locks that were still partially matted to his head thanks to his helmet and continued on towards his office. Not wanting to wake Gabby up if she was asleep, Matt carefully turned the knob on his office door and slowly pushed it open in an effort to avoid the obnoxious squeak it always made halfway through the swing. Sure enough, Gabby was asleep.

She was sprawled out on her stomach on his bunk with her chin resting in the palm of her hand as her head wavered in a light doze. Her laptop was propped up against the metal frame of his bunk and he had no doubt she'd been in deep research about something.

Quietly closing the door behind him, he moved silently over to his bunk and removed Gabby's laptop before she fell face first into it. Closing it, he reached out and sat it on his desk before lowering himself onto his bunk and joining her. The dip in the thin mattress from his weight settling onto it was enough to pull Gabby from her sleep and he winced as he watched her come to. "Sorry…it's just me," he whispered, "go back to sleep." He took the side of her head in his hand and guided it to his pillow where she happily relaxed into it.

"Your call?" Gabby mumbled, tucking one hand under her pillow and reaching for Matt with her other hand.

"Textbook," Matt assured Gabby as he scooted down so he was level with her and pulled her into his chest."

"That's good," Gabby murmured, wrapping her left leg over Matt's right leg as she buried herself in his arms.

Just when Matt thought she had drifted back to sleep, Gabby spoke again. "I was looking up pediatricians...started a list."

Matt dropped a kiss on top of Gabby's head and rubbed her arm, "That's great. We can take a look tomorrow morning."

"I can show you now," Gabby insisted, though she showed no sign of moving from her current position.

"Baby, you're half asleep. Let's look tomorrow, ok?"

"Mmmk."

Thankfully, the rest of shift went by without anymore calls and both Gabby and Matt had managed to actually get some sleep.

* * *

"Dawson!" Otis called out, holding tight onto his bag as he hurried to catch up to Matt and Gabby.

Keeping ahold of Matt's, Gabby stopped and turned around, "What's up?" She asked as he came to a stop in front of them.

"I know it is really last minute but can you cover for me tonight at Molly's?" Otis grimaced as he saw the look of hesitation on Gabby's face and the less than enthusiastic look on Matt's. "I know you've been cutting back on your shifts and doing more behind the scenes stuff since you guys got Louie so I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't really, _really_ important."

The look on Gabby's face softened and her shoulders relaxed, a clear sign that if Otis used his words right, she'd give in. "You gotta hot date or something?"

"Well...yeah," Otis admitted with a sheepish shrug, "There's this girl and I managed to get tickets to this show and-"

Gabby shook her head, waving off Otis from explaining himself any farther, "Ok, ok, I'll cover for you."

"Really?" Otis exclaimed, his eyes wide with excitement.

"Yeah," Gabby shrugged as she adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder. "I mean, we really didn't have anything going on tonight." She glanced up at Matt for confirmation, "Right?"

Reluctantly, Matt nodded and unlocked his jaw, "Yeah...nothing going on."

"Well great! Thank you so much, Dawson! I owe you!"

"Yes, you do," Matt agreed, digging his hands farther into his jacket pockets.

Gabby sent Matt a glare before turning back to Otis, "Really, it's no big deal. Just enjoy your date."

"Oh, I will!" After thanking Gabby again, Otis turned and headed towards his jeep, an extra pep very obvious in his step.

"Seriously, Matt?" Gabby asked as she started walking, not waiting for Matt to follow.

Matt rolled his eyes, and shrugged, "What? It's very last minute and kind if inconvenient."

Stopping in front of the passenger side door of Matt's truck, Gabby spun around and narrowed her gaze at Matt, just daring him to push it farther, "For Who? You? So it's ok for you to get pulled away last minute for work but when I do, it's suddenly an inconvenience?"

Matt sighed and ran his free hand over the top of his head before bringing it down over his face, "It's not an inconvenience. Please don't put words in my mouth. I've never put Louie to bed by myself before." Reaching around Gabby, Matt opened the passenger door and tossed his bag in the backseat before gently removing Gabby's from her grasp and doing the same. "I mean, you saw what happened yesterday when I told him no. He had a complete meltdown! What if that happens again?"

"If it happens again, you'll do exactly what you did at the grocery store. Hold your ground and let him cry it out."

"That's easier said than done, Gabby," Matt grumbled. "Especially when I'm always the bad guy."

"Matt, you'll be fine and he'll be fine. I'll make dinner early and head out around 6. You two can have a guys night. Maybe go to the park, take him to the pier...or just stay in. Whatever you feel comfortable doing." She bit her bottom lip thoughtfully as she watched the worry only slightly pull back from his features, "Baby?" She reached up and took his face in her small hands and made sure he was looking at her, "He loves you. He's just...he's still adjusting and I think it's all still so confusing for him. But don't you for one minute think that he doesn't love you. Those big brown eyes of his may always reflect worry and confusion but I've seen the gleam in them whenever you walk into the room. I mean, look at yesterday, as soon as he saw you, he yelled daddy and went straight to you." Standing on her toes, she kissed him, "You're an amazing daddy to Louie and you're going to be an amazing daddy to this new baby."

* * *

"Mama and daddy!" Louie squealed, jumping down from the couch where he'd been engrossed in watching Diego play Mario Kart. He was still in his pajamas and had his stuffed giraffe tucked under one arm and his sippy cup tucked under the other; but both were instantly discarded as soon as he saw his parents.

"Hey, Louie!" Matt greeted with the same enthusiasm as the toddler just as he collided into him.

"Hi!" He eagerly wrapped his little arms around Matt's neck and pressed his chubby cheek against his father's forehead. "Miss you!"

Matt grinned, his heart filling with joy, "We missed you, too. Did you have fun?"

Louie nodded, "Uh-huh! Go soo!"

Gabby smiled, "You went to the zoo? Did you see lots of animals?"

"Uh-huh!" Louie answered with a sharp nod, reaching out for his mother, "Hi mama!"

"Well hi there," she eagerly took Louie into her arms and dropped a kiss against the side of his head. "How about we go get some breakfast, huh? Maybe pancakes? And then maybe we'll go to the park?"

"Yeah!"

Feeling her stomach start to turn, Gabby's smile faltered, "Mama has to go to the bathroom so…" she took a deep breath, "how about you and daddy go get your stuff, ok?" She handed Louie back off to Matt, giving him a tight smile before excusing herself to the closest bathroom.

Immediately concerned for his baby sister, Antonio turned to his son, "Diego, pause the game and go gather Louie's things from your room."

Diego knew the tone in his father's voice meant there was no room to argue, "Ok." Pausing the game, he discarded his controller on the coffee table and jumped up from his spot on the couch. "Come on Louie! Let's go get your stuff so the adults can have their secret conversations."

Matt lowered Louie to the ground and watched in amusement as Louie took his older cousin's hand and headed towards the boy's bedroom. Hearing Antonio clear his throat, he looked over at Gabby's brother and instantly knew that he knew something. "Uh…thanks again for watching him on such short notice. Gabby and I are considering finding a nanny to watch Louie during work hours and maybe putting him in preschool so he can interact with other kids his age."

Antonio wasn't buying Matt's attempt to change the subject, "What's up with my sister? She didn't look so good. You guys fighting again?"

"What? No! It's not like that, Antonio," he answered in earnest, the last thing he needed or wanted was getting on the bad side of Gabby's big brother. He'd been there before and he wasn't too fond of it.

Building himself up into interrogation mode, Antonio's hands were on his hips as he stared the lieutenant down, "Then care to explain to me what it is like?"

"Antonio," Gabby scolded, joining the two men in the living room. Looking a little flushed but still able to give her brother a knowing glare, "Do not go all tough big brother on Matt!"

"Well then tell me what's going on!"

The couple shared a glance; Matt giving Gabby an encouraging nod before they both turned and looked at the impatient detective.

Gabby took a deep breath, "I'm pregnant."

"You're pregnant?" Antonio repeated, completely caught off guard by the announcement.

Gabby nodded, her hand instinctively going to her stomach, "Yeah. Almost ten weeks now."

"Wow! That's uh…that's great!" He raised a brow, "Right? I mean, the timing is kind of weird but…" he shrugged, "If anybody can do it, it's you two."

Matt chuckled, his hand slipping behind Gabby and resting on her lower back, his smile growing as she leaned into him, "Yeah, it definitely was not planned but we couldn't be more excited."

"Well congratulations!" Antonio grinned at his sister, "Get over here, Gabriela!" He pulled his baby sister into a tight hug. "Have you told mom and dad yet?"

"No!" Gabby shook her head as she pulled back from her brother's embrace. "We're not going to tell anybody else until I'm safely out of my first trimester. Besides you, the only other people that know are Kelly, Stella and Chief Boden."

Antonio nodded, "Ok, ok, fair enough. But hey!" He threw his hands up excitedly, "The kids and I don't have any plans this morning so how about we go out for breakfast, huh? My treat!"

Matt shrugged as he pretended to think about it, "Well, I mean…if you're paying…"

"Ha! I mean, it's the least I can do! You guys are about to be providing for two kids and let me tell you, they aren't cheap!"

* * *

By the time Gabby made it home from Molly's, it was well into the early hours of the morning thanks to a fight that had required major cleanup. Stepping through the threshold of the front door, she winced as her heels made contact with the hardwood floor. Shutting the door as quietly as possible and locking it, Gabby pressed her hand up against it to keep her balance as she removed her boots. Tucking them under her arm, she walked slowly through the kitchen and into the living room; coming to a complete stop at the sight in front of her.

The couch, along with the hardly used matching accent chair, a couple of kitchen chairs and Louie's tiny Paw Patrol tent had been turned into one giant, makeshift fort. Louie's comforter went from one arm of the couch, over his tent and settled into the cushion of the accent chair with several pillows on top of it to keep it in place. Sitting in front of the tent were the two kitchen chairs with a blanket draped between them, clearly marking the entrance to the fort. Sitting her boots and purse down on the ground, Gabby lowered herself so could get a glimpse inside of the fort.

Sure enough, both Matt and Louie were sound asleep.

Matt was sprawled out on his back, one arm tucked under his head while the other rested protectively over Louie who cuddled into his side. The sight of Louie sleeping so peacefully in Matt's protective embrace was almost Gabby's undoing as her tears threatened to get the best of her.

Fishing her phone out of her jacket pocket, Gabby checked to make sure the camera was on silent before snapping at least a dozen pictures. Getting a whiff of the alcohol on her clothes, she bit back a groan, her tired body fighting her movements as she stood back up. While she wanted nothing more than to climb into bed, she needed a shower.

Leaving her boys to sleep, Gabby continued on to her and Matt's bedroom, stopping only when she made it to the adjoining master bath.

* * *

"Mama seep," Louie whispered loudly before taking another sip of his juice as Matt carried him into the bedroom after an unexpected early morning bath. He'd forgotten to change Louie out of his pull-up and into a diaper last night, resulting in both of them waking up in damp clothes. They'd also gotten behind on laundry so when Matt carried a clean Louie into his room in nothing but a fresh pull-up, it took him quite some time to find something that actually fit due to the toddler's sudden growth spurt.

They'd finally found a green pocket t-shirt that was sporting what was probably a juice stain right under the collar and a pair of gray cotton shorts that would have to work for the time being.

"Yes she is," Matt agreed. "Can you sit with mommy and read your book while I take a quick shower?"

Louie nodded, "Uh-huh."

Sitting Louie down on his side of the bed that was still made, he pulled Louie's blanket from his shoulder and draped it over the toddler's legs and feet. "Try and let mommy sleep, ok? I'll be really fast."

"Ooper fas!" Louie exclaimed in a loud whisper before digging his hand back into the plastic cup full of cereal.

Matt chuckled quietly, "Ok, I'll be super-fast."

* * *

Matt grabbed what he assumed to be Gabby's dirty clothes from the night before, intent on throwing them in the hamper but immediately frowned from how wet they were. Catching the strong stench of alcohol, he brought the clothes to his nose but quickly pulled back. "Wow," he muttered before tossing them in the hamper. There was clearly a story there and he'd definitely be asking.

They'd also definitely be doing laundry today.

Reaching into the shower, he turned the water on before going taking one last glance in on Louie before pushing the bathroom door shut, stopping right before it clicked.

Just as he'd told Louie he would, he took a super fast shower and when he was done and dressed, the scene in the bedroom was just as he'd left it.

Louie glanced up from his book and grinned, "Daddy ooper fas!"

Matt chuckled, "I was super, super fast!" Catching movement behind Louie, he couldn't help but chuckle from the cute look of confusion on Gabby's face as she started to wake up.

"Mama up!" Louie gleefully exclaimed, reaching his fingers into the plastic cup and pulling out a handful of cereal, "Here! Mama eat!"

Gabby pushed herself up and leaned against the cushioned headboard, "Oh, no thanks, baby. Mama isn't hungry right now." She grimaced and rubbed her abdomen as the sudden movement into an upright position caused her stomach to roll in anger.

"Mama eat!" Louie repeated, his hand still outreached as he insisted his mother take the cereal. "I share!"

"Ok, ok, I'll eat. Thank you for sharing, baby." Gabby conceded, taking the cereal from Louie's hand and bringing it up to her mouth. Luckily for her, Louie had already refocused his attention to scooping another handful of cereal for himself.

Matt chuckled and moved around to Gabby's side of the bed, taking a seat next to her legs and rubbing her hip, "You ok?"

Gabby nodded as she leaned her head back against the headboard and briefly closed her eyes. "Things got a little crazy at Molly's last night. Didn't get home until well after midnight."

Matt frowned, "Does that have anything to do with why your clothes are soaked with alcohol?"

"Pretty much, yeah." She sighed, "I didn't catch the first part of the argument between these two guys but next thing I know, fists are flying and I somehow ended up in the crossfire of a full pitcher of beer. But because it's Molly's and a lot of our regulars happen to be law enforcement, the fight was short lived and both men left in handcuffs." Running her fingers through her untamed curls, she pulled a few strands over to her nose, satisfied that she no longer smelled alcohol. "Antonio was actually there and of course, he want into big brother mode."

"Well good! Those guys are lucky I wasn't there! I would've-"

"Hey, hey," Gabby chided lightly, leaning in and pressing her lips to Matt's, effectively shutting him up. "I'm a big girl, Matt. I can take of myself. That's something both you and Antonio know but seem to have trouble remembering."

Matt shook his head, "We both know you can take care of yourself, babe. But-"

"Don't," Gabby put her hand up to stop Matt, "If you're going to say what I think you're going to say then please stop while you're still ahead."

"Nope. You can't keep me from worrying about you and this baby, Gabby. You haven't even cleared your first trimester. So I'm not going to apologize for worrying."

Gabby sighed, she really knew she couldn't fight him on the issue especially when her own worries about the pregnancy were constantly at bay. She held her hands up, this time in surrender, "Ok, fine, I get it. You're worried. I am, too." She took a deep breath and gave him a soft smile, "But only two more weeks."

Matt grinned and moved his hand up from her thigh and onto her stomach, "And then we can start telling people."

"All gone!" Louie exclaimed, squeezing himself between the two adults and settling himself on Gabby's lap, "I eat all!"


End file.
